Virginity and Marriage

VERY TRUE....i am a dancer and i used to ride bicycle for many years,....and hence though I am a virgin...the hymen test will say Iam not....

Very right both of you. However, for women there is a chance to determine virginity for men, there is none.

No, there's not. That's what I'm trying to say.

I don't know if I'd go that far. For some people, their moral convictions are so strong that they can interfere with even the most sincerely held emotions. Meaning, that while they love their partner with all their heart, something like virginity could really affect whether they could pursue a permanent relationship. Love is a complicated emotion.

Thank you for responding to mine. An annulment is a very serious legal proceeding and should never be granted lightly. If you have to get an annulment something must be seriously wrong. Being a virgin shouldn't qualify. It doesn't change the person in any intrinsic way. And it is demeaning, because the only reason this annulment was granted was because of the woman's virginity. The man's never came into question. I have never heard of and challenge anyone to find a case where a man lying about his virginity was grounds for annulment. Virginity has always been a woman's issue. Partially for biological reasons and partially for societal reasons. I make no arguments that this marriage should have been terminated. However, deception would have been far better grounds the termination. Virginity should never have played into it. It's not the the annulment I have an issue with, but rather the grounds. To start saying a woman's virginity is so important that men have the right to kick women to the curb over it is a very demeaning path to go on. It's something that women have fought against for centuries. I'm not eager to see a return to it. As to the smoking, I see this is a big issue with you. And that's fine. Everybody has theirs, but I have to say that if you don't find out your husband is a smoker until after the wedding day, then perhaps the two of you didn't spend enough time with each other in the first place. Smoking, unlike virginity, is not something that is that easily concealed.

The only reason that the woman's virginity is considered grounds for annulment is if she lied about it and the man's love was built on a lie. It's not because she's not a virgin, but it's because she lied about it and she lied about something that the husband considered as a vital quality for an ideal woman. I seriously don't find it strange and it's a religious, Catholic matter that the person should strive for the ideal. And the reason that the man's virginity is not even considered in the matter is because it was not part of the "deal". Also we Catholics do value virginity that highly. As I have said, it's a gift we give to someone special. Some people no longer see it as such, but the Church certainly does. I think the only reason they're granting the annulment "but for different reasons" is because people are making such a fuss about it.

Actually, annulments are only granted for very specific reasons. Unlike a divorce, an annulment is a complete removal of the marriage. When you get one it's as if you were never married. A divorce, on the other hand, has many legal implications because you are married but then severed from your spouse. The biggest difference between the two is the financial arrangement of the couple. In a divorce, you can seek alimony, with an annulment you cannot because you were never married. I have no problem with him wanting the annulment, but making her virginity the issue, I have a problem with. It's wrong to for the law to have two different standards for women and men.