Fed-up w/husband and his EX!!
By ms1323
@ms1323 (259)
United States
September 22, 2008 3:50pm CST
Does anyone else out there in myLot land have a spouse/significant other who is completely devoted to their child, from another person - but so much so that it's to the detriment of their other children with you?
My husband has a daughter that is at our house every-other-day, that he takes to school (20 miles away) every day, takes to all of her Dr's and dentist appt's and pays a rediculous amount of child support for but wont go back to court to get it reduced bcz he doesn't want to "rock the boat" with his ex-wife...even though, from all calculations, he could get it reduced by $330/mo.
We're so strapped for cash that OUR kids don't get to do anything, we can't even go out as a couple let alone the whole family. Meanwhile, his ex owns 2 homes and 3 cars - all just for her and their daughter, whom she doesn't even have to support bcz she's at my house half the time and the half that her mom does have her -- WE PAY FOR!
I respect the fact that he wants to be there for and support his daughter - but to the point that his other children don't count? Am I overreacting or is it reasonable for me to expect him to stand up for his "other" family as much as his first?
1 response
@gquimpo (47)
• Philippines
22 Sep 08
First, you need to clear it out with your husband. Tell him to share the lot fairly. Then, talk to your daughter-in-law, tell her she is most welcome in your house and you you love as much as you love your own children.
You owe it to yourself to get rid of the negative energy. Just look forward and be positive.
@ms1323 (259)
• United States
26 Sep 08
I am trying so hard to get him to understand that keeping some of that money here is not only good for our kids, but for his daughter as well...like would'nt it be nice if some of the "fun" things she got to do were with us as well as her mom?
Anyhow, thank you. I was having a REALLY bad day when I posted this one and am not usually so negative about life.
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
9 Nov 08
if i were in your shoes i would be hurt and his children now should be treated equalley'but i am thinking may be your husband is feeling alittle bad that he lives with his kids now but the one from the past has to live in a broken home.this could be makeing him feel a little bad.
1 person likes this
@ms1323 (259)
• United States
10 Nov 08
Yes, his guilt is a huge factor in the disparge of treatment. But in my opinion, this is not doing any of his kids any favors. My step-daughter already feels that the world revolves around her-and he is doing nothing to change that...she will be in for a rude awakening as she gets older and people don't automatically bow to her every desire.
She gets away with things that she shouldn't, and that our kids don't get away with. Our 8 year old son is beginning to see and feel the different treatment. He is most likely going to resent it and his sister and his father in the future.
The ironic part is, I came from a family with much the same thing happening and I know how they are all going to feel in the coming years. My husband will (continue to) feel guilty, but for an entire new reason, his daughter will take advantage of people and not reach her full potential as a person and my kids will resent and not respect their sister nor their father. But my husband refuses to see what he is doing and what will happen as a consequence, it makes me so sad to see this happening.
