Does your husband cleans, pick up his clothes, washes the clothes?

I feel your pain. My boyfriend comes from a culture where it is expected of the woman to hand and foot him and when I was dating him and we lived together Before kids that was fine and dandy but now we have kids and Im struggling to keep up and he's baffled by it because I always used to keep up with his socks and clothes and keeping the house tidy and cooking him breakfast and rubbing his feet, lol. It must feel so hard, you have a young baby and I remember when my two daughters were infants I was just a nervous wreck trying to get some help from my boyfriend. I do think that men need to be reprogramed to be able to help around the house though because society does not expect these things from them and thats a good mamma who teaches them. I have found that things my boyfriend once did like leave his clothes and socks in the living room, or something even as burping in public or leaving his shoes on the floor right in front of the shoe rack (oh boy, thats frustrating), things like that--it took 100s of reminders to him to take the socks to the dirties, to put his towel on the rack over his dooor, to not Burp in public because I did not like it, CONSTANT request to do these things and that is what it took. So while its so tough to not deal with it and kick him out (yes, if I did not have kids I would not be as tolerant and would of fled long ago) but your child can only benefit with him around (im assuming he's the father, im so sorry). Still, I don't think that its fair to stick your head in the dirt and act like these problems do not exist and ignore it--like I feel like so many woman in the past have done--in the 50s they felt woman were sooo happy but society looked down on woman to complain--you were literally a Stepford Wife, YUCK, not me, no no. Keeping reminding him til its an annoyance and that should work but do not do it in a mean way where your yelling or pushing him away but DO keep bringing it up because I feel like my boyfriend responds most when I am being reasonable and constantly requesting because then he realizes is own actions.

well the short answer to that would be no, i have to pick up his clothes clean up do all the washing and ironing sometimes he wil wash the pots or clean to floors but thats about it, the rest is left upto me and it does get me down too, we both work so that is not an excuse for him he just assumes its my role and it gets me down, i was meant to be doing the ironing again tonight but i thought sod it why should i do it all the time so decided to get on here for a while xxx

I do not thin men like to do house job, i think home is the main responsabilty for women not for men. men just pay

Where him leaving things lying around, I think you are over-reacting, I mean throwing him out because of that. I think there might be more to it than just him leaving things around and not picking up around the house. If that is the worst thing he does, then I would have to ask, do you love him? And as I have told friends 'was he like this from day one? if so, then why were you expecting anything different?' It's just amazing to me that a woman would kick her man out over something like this, and then on the other side of the coin there are women being physically and mentally abused that won't kick them out. I know I'm lucky, I work seasonally, which means I work full time 9 months out of the year. During those months he helps out around the house. However, the 3 months that I am off work, I don't expect him to do much, since he is still working 8 or more hours a day. So during those months I do the dishes, laundry, etc. Regardless, he hangs his towel in the bathroom when he's done, probably over 1/2 the time he puts his clothes in the laundry bag. So what if I have to pick up a pair of shoes he took off the night before, or take a glass or cup to the kitchen, it takes all of 10 - 15 minutes to pick up around the house and then it's clean again, and that's a 3 bedroom, two story house. I can't see that you would have that much to do by Friday, if you picked up everything but his stuff everyday. Sorry, but sounds to me like you are a complainer, and was just wanting a way out of your marriage.

I don't think not picking up after yourself deserves the ultimate punishment, which is throwing him out. there are many more severe things in a marriage that would warrant throwing your spouse out, but not picking up his clothes. I think you are being rather immature, because of the reasons you put your husband out. If he was cheating on you, or refused to get a job etc. that would probably be reason enough to say get out. Get your marriage back together if you love your husband. You can not have a stable marriage if you use the get out of my house tactic, everytime you are angry with your husband.

I guess I've been blessed with my husband. I never have to pick up his clothes. And, he never leaves things laying around for me to pick up. He sometimes takes his dishes to the sink after we eat unless he's in a hurry to get to work. Since he works so hard so I don't have to, I feel I should do the housework and the laundry. But, he never makes messes for me to clean up. On the other hand, I feel you are going too far kicking him out. Unless there are other issues you aren't telling about. Is your clean house more important than your marriage? If it is, you must not love him that much. Just my opinion.

My husband sometimes leaves his dirty clothes on the floor in the bedroom and I have to pick them up and put them in the dirty clothes hamper. I wash the clothes. Sometimes he will wash the dishes and vacuum. He works all day so he is hungry and tired when he gets home.

wow!!! thanks to my mom who trained me so well in every household chores that im able to help my wife while i enjoy doing it as well? i never taught that things like these could end up a relationship huhuhu... maybe you can still talk things over and start to organize on each responsibilities... :-)

I can sympathize. My guy is a slob as well. I even put the clothes hamper right by his side of the bed - only two feet away. And where do the clothes land? On the floor in front of it of course. I walk over them until it reaches the point that I can't stand it and pick them up myself. I don't know if your method of handling it by kicking him out is the best one or not. I guess thats your decision? If having a clean house is more important than the love you are supposed to have for him then go for it.

Your husband is acting like my 15 year old son.I'm lucky because my husband is the opposite of your husband.He does not mess our house even when we were young.We both work and we didn't hire house help.Maybe you should talk about it seriously you should share your time with each other making your house in order.It's not only woman's responsibility to make our household in order.

lol oh wow. Well, you warned him so...I do most of the cleaning around here, because I'm home more than my husband is. I actually enjoy doing things around the house. When I was working full time, I will admit when we lived in our other place, the housework really was suffering. I didn't really have the time or energy to do it, because I was always on the go. My husband doesn't put stuff back in it's place either. It really bothers me when it's on the floor, because I have to bend and get it, and bending is really hard for me. Have you reconciled with your husband, or do you have any plans to?

Cmofi123, My huddy is like that as well but he is driving over the road that is his Job so I only have to put up with him doing that when he comes home which is every 4 weeks or so. I do keep the house clean as I can and he helps when he is home but I would not have kicked him out for that reason but that is just my thought on the matter.

hi! well i guess i am lucky with my husband, he knows household chores better than i do. He can do the laundry, cook and pick up after his mess! i guess it stems from his childhood, his parents really taught him to be clean and responsible with stuff like this...and it has something to do with culture, here in our country (Philippines) whether you're male or female parents do really teach their kids to be responsible and you really have to know your chores like cook, clean the bathroom/toilet..clean the kitchen, wash the dishes! But i am not generalizing because there still some who do not. My husband is just one of those who knows hehehe... And to cmofil23, you have the right to complain because it is not easy to come home to a messy home! plus $80 is very expensive, so what you did was right and if it did something good don't regret anything:D you have to stand up and speak up!

I am a lucky woman, my husband is clean and tidy. He usually will follow my order to put his dirty clothes into the laundry basket. He likes cooking, love to cook dishes for me. He also wash the dirty dishes although he hate to do that.

Ummm...no, my husband does not wash the clothes. I am the one who put our clothes into the washing machine and hang it to dry. And thank God he does not throw his clothes everywhere and anywhere. We have a laundry basket so it goes in there and when its time to wash I will just take the basket to the back and load the clothes into the machine. My husband is okay when it comes to being clean and organize because he was train that way from young and me too.

Women do put up with their husbands' ways especially around the house. But throwing him out is I think too much. Don't you love your husband? Maybe there is another underlying reason why you wanna throw him out? Maybe you are just under a little too much stress? You might wanna think things out before throwing out the father of your baby? You would want to tell your child that you're father is not with you because he was much too messy around the house...

in some point, having a messy house is not at all livable. for me, i tried to tidy things left whenever i can and its my obligation. while my husband is out working, im responsible in taking care of the kids, dogs, and do the household chores. which means, i have to do the cleaning, laundry, dishes,ironing, cooking and other household stuff which is under my responsibility. sometimes, i do complain that i'm tired of the routinary works i do but i don't want to be stressed so i just enjoy doing it instead of complaining and it worked. in my opinion, throwing out your husband's stuff is too much. perhaps you should talk to him about it and if he fails to comply, then keep on reminding him. i guess you won't allow your husbands messy attitude ruin your marriage. and it's to shallow to be the reason for giving up.

Hi friend,My hub neither cleans nor picks up his clothes.But he doesn't throw whereever he likes .It will be in the bed room and I clean the house everytime not one year past 15 years.I am a homemaker,but we have servant for sweeping mopping the house and dobby for laundry,so I have to keep things in places thats it.thanks for sharing.happy mylotting.

we havn't marriaged. my boyfriend always wash his clothese by himself althou we live together for nearly 4years. especially now, we both work 8hours each day. my company is far away from where we live.so i come back very late everyday. my boyfriend is near. i only have rest on sunday, but he rest on saturday and sunday. my job is busy, but he is much more free. do you think who to wash his clothes? sometimes, he complains me, he said women should do this, not man. but i repli, moman and man are equal now. what things you can do but i can't? nothing. we are the same.

Well, I think you are taking it too seriouly. This is the way most husbands behave.I should not be responding to this topic as I have no husband. In fact, I myself am my wife's husband! I responded to this topic because its the other way round wth me. I have been alone a long time and have learnt to keep the house neat and clean, while my wife is does not like cleaning the house. But I never complain and have never had any fight on this. Please try to adjust yourself.