When do you make your children leave home?

I havent' had to kick a child out of the home yet as my daughter is only 5! My parents have always had an open door to us kids and has never kicked us out. When we are ready to go then we go. They have always made a point though that if we aren't in school then we will have a job and pay them rent. However, if I had an 18 yr old or older child who was being disrespectful and not obeying our rules, then he/she is legal to move out and I would teach them a lesson by showing them what it's like to have responsibility on their own. I would kick them out as well. I think you did the right thing and in a few months to a year he will finally see. If at that point he wants to move back home and he shows that he will start following the rules and taking on some responsibility around the house then it's your choice to let him back home or not.

We haven't yet but I don't think we're far from it. At the moment we have an 18 year old (my stepson) and his 18 year old girlfriend living with us (she says her parents kicked her out, her parents say she wanted to leave because she didn't want to follow their house rules) Basically, they sleep all day, work for 1-2 hours a day down the road, don't help with anything around the house, don't contribute to any bills, and neither finished high school. My stepson was basically kicked out last year because he just quit going without actually un-enrolling. He did GED classes a few times and was scheduled to take his test...yesterday. She should also be a senior in high school but supposedly didn't want to go back to her own high school this year because the other girls were mean to her (spread rumors that she was a s!ut...well see my "stay in the truck" discussion and you'll understand why people think she's a s!ut). She was supposed to be doing some kind of home study thing but it would cost $200 and her mom got fired right before she "got kicked out" so that never happened either. (they can't seem to save any of their own money). Ok so that takes us to last night, I have been on her for 3 weeks to call the high school here and see if there's anyway she could enroll here(this was originally her idea). She hadn't yet and gave me this excuse last night...she couldn't call them because stepson wouldn't look up the number and she "isn't very good with phone books". Ok so anyway...we just had to shell out the last of our money (literally) to pay car insurance. Half of that was on their car. Actually more than half because they had a semi-sporty car, an accident and two traffic violation. Ok so anyway...we have somewhere around $20 until payday next week after paying there insurance nd they brought home $15 steaks for their dinner last night! Ok so probably way more detail than I needed to get into but the point is...we have 2 freeloaders who are on seriously shaky ground with us. I will feel bad making them leave because I do not think the have the skills to make it on their own but it is causing way to much hardship on this family. (s/o and I have 3 little boys together to take care of also). So I feel that the needs of the family as a whole need to come before the needs of a few individuals...if it turns the other way around, it's time to get the individuals away from the family.

I know exactly how you feel as we have had to do the same. We have 7 children and I dont know what it is but once they hit 18 they dont seem to think they have to listen even if the parents are still supporting them totally. They think they all of a sudden rule the house and lots of the time are VERY disrespectful. Sometimes talking does help and they seem to understand, that we are still supporting you and other times they dont get it. I dont understand how they think it is alright to do nothing and sit around all night and sleep all day. It hurts to do it but in the end hopefully it is kinda like the birds that push the babes out of the nests. Time to spread the wings, grow and make a life. I still think we did the right thing and noone will convince me differently. Unless you have a kid scream at you and crap you have no idea. Ohh and they do come back and normally act better

I am sure that was a difficult choice for you to make,I have never been put in to that situation and I am happy I havent been, my girls all know they always have a home with me anytime they may need one,I have never had to go through the disrespectful part as many parents have and no how lucky I am.Good luck to you and God Bless you and your family.

Are you sure that is disrespect is because he's disrespectful or are you still treating him like a child and that's upsetting him?

My kids are only 2 yrs old and 9months old however i wouldnt ever put my kids out of my home without some where to go that i know is safe. Yes when the rude comments and bad remarks yes id warm them if it kepted on then we'd have to find somewhere for them to go but id also pay for it myself so that i know my child is in a safe place and has everything they need.but id never put them out with nowhere to go. and yes after a while when they felt they can respect me then yes id let them come back.

My children are yet very small to be told to leave the house, one is 9 and the other 6..i have to tell them to leave the room ofcourse when they collect so many children from neighbours and do noisy things...i tell them to go to the terrace where they can perform their WWF actions or whatever they want...:)...but hearing your problem i am very sad that some day such situation comes when we have to take such decisions, may God keep parents free from such worries.

what country are you from? here in the Philippines, it is not unusual for kids above 18 to still live with their parents. even the married ones still live with their folks. it's not always negative. it's part of our culture and it really depends on the family how they would support each other in many ways including the financial aspect. some would still live with their parents even if they already have a decent job coz some parents would not let their kids to live separately from them. it really differs from country to country and culture to culture. it's also good that you kick your son out of your house so he'll learn to fend for himself and hopefully grow up to be a sensible man.

I feel for your situation. It must be hard to make a move like that. I will not judge you for your decision. Your son is eighteen years old. A grown adult now who needs to learn responsibility and the ways of the world. It is not going to be easy out there and he will find out soon enough. Being a mother sometimes can put you in a position like this I can imagine. I do have a young five year old son. I do think ahead in life and wonder what kind of boy he will be in years to come. I try my best. I am sure that you have tried your best also. Every mother wants the best outcome for their child when they grow older. You have endured a lot of disrespect which you do not deserve. He might have to just learn the hard way. I have never really been faced with your situation but like I said I do have a five year old now and before I know it he will be eighteen. Sometimes you just never know in life what to expect. When your son gets a little older he will probably come around. Remember, experience will be the best teacher for him. Good luck and wish you well.

I can totally understand where your coming from. My stepson graduated high school this past june and said he was going to get a job because he didnt want to go to college. Well he was sleeping all day...doing no chores around the house...partying all night....we talked and talked until we were blue in the face. He told us he had gotten applications which I helped him fill out....then found in his glove box 2 months later....His dad took his car until he got a job and he said fine he was moving out! I have always told my kids at 18 its a job or college or your out. I think to support a child until they are in their 20s without them trying to do anything to better themselves is not helping them.

my parents never made us siblings leave home. my brothers went to work in another place but they see to it that they come home every year during christmas and come home when ever they can. i still live at home. we all help in the chores and everything from bills to food and others. we're all single still so now problem. sometimes 18 year olds still have identity crisis, they confused in what life would offer them if they will be on their own and too much expectations around. when we were 18 we 're still in school.

If your 18 year old child doesnt respect you anymore, i would kick him out of the house, after all, i am his parent (but i lcukily havent got tihs cases)

A lot of kids when they start to hit between the ages of 14-18, they experience a period where they know better than the adult. Most of us have gone through it ourselves. The United States tells children that at age 18, they are legally an adult. Parents are not allowed to control them, they can stay out past curfew hours and go to clubs (just for an example). When you turn 18, you get this sense of, "I can do whatever I want" and it typically causes problems within the family. I experienced it with my father and I chose to leave. When I say my life has been nothing but struggles since, I'm not over reacting. What you need to do is let him go and let him try and make it on his own. It might take about a year but eventually he'll come back with the respect you've been longing for. We all think we're ready but when the real world hits, you can only have so many slip-ups. He'll mature from his own mistakes. It happens to us all.