What do you think are the unwritten rules in friendship?

@Leixa003 (867)
Philippines
September 26, 2008 9:38pm CST
Friendship is a relationship that is so vast but of course there are still some rules in every relationship. Can you share what you think they are? I can say that one should be never leave a friend during darkest hour. They say you really can say who your friends are when your on your lowest level in life. I also like the unwritten rule that friendship is never exclusive. As a friend one should not get jealous if a friend has other friends and hangs out with them. It's not like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. One person can have many different sets of friends. I can also say that if you lend money to a friend, be ready to loose it. But as a friend apy when able. :)
13 responses
@deserve40 (1656)
• India
27 Sep 08
Some unwritten rules for the friendship: 1. No expectation from the friend. 2. Always have trust in the friend, even if the friend is not available for the help in the hour of your need, may be he is in more deep trouble and need help more than you do. 3. Always be ready to extend support and right advise instead of flatering. 4. Be open hearted with the friend. Never hide anything from a real friend. 5. Never hesitate to ask for the help and advise. You may not get the same and in that case never think of breaking away with a friend.
@deserve40 (1656)
• India
28 Sep 08
I think that we have made someone a friend just because he or she understands what we are. As we feel that it is our duty to help a friend, to support, not to leave, not to betray....it goes without saying that the friend will understand the same thing in the same sense that we do. What I mean by No.1 "not expecting from a friend" is that if the friend is unable to do something for you just do not leave that friend just because of that reason.
@Leixa003 (867)
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Well thanks for the list. I just want to ask, what do you mean in number 1. No expectation from the friend? What expectations shouldn't be there. Well I expect my friends to be true to me. And expect them not to leave me in case I'm in trouble and of course I expect them not to betray me. Understanding a friend is also important. happy mylotting!
@relundad (2310)
• United States
27 Sep 08
Never Lie. Never Cheat. Never Steal. I live by these no matter the relationship.
1 person likes this
@Leixa003 (867)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
That a good three rule. I think you have lots of friends. And I think one should not really lie, cheat and steal. Especially stealing be it a thing or a person. And i think cheating is somewhat related to stealing so a no no. And the contrary have you ever been lied, cheated or been stolen by a friend?
@relundad (2310)
• United States
27 Sep 08
Yes unfortunately these rules have been broken by other people. In those cases, I will re-classify the people. If you break the rules, I will no longer consider you a friend, and will handle the remainder of the relationship accordingly.
• Malaysia
27 Sep 08
I think it will be trust. Without trust there is no meaning in friendships. Trust build everything. Besides that I think the next rule will be loyalty. If someone is loyal friend, than whenever there friends are in trouble or not they will be there to support.
@Leixa003 (867)
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Trust is very important in every relationship. And it would also be painful if a friend betrays you. Since you trust them not to do so (I mean betray you) and you found out that they did it is like losing a friend and finding an enemy in one. But I think forgiveness is also important. Though I think it would be hard if the wound is so deep. Thanks for sharing.
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
Friends is hard to come by. It's hard to find someone that shared your common interest with. Some opposites attract. I have a best friend since college and we are different like night and day. If we have common interest, it's just a slightest tiny interest there is. But she and i are like sisters. She always there to help me. I never thought we will end up being best friends. I have a lot of great friends. And I dont expect anything in return for my kindness. But i like to help my friends in need whenever i can. True friends for me will never betray you. I dont expect for them to cry with me, be with me in my saddes moment, stayin with me in my darkest hour. I would feel bad and selfish. I think friendship should be shared when you are most happy.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Sep 08
I am big on loyalty. A friend should always be loyal. Friends do sometimes get a little jealous...I have in the past myself...Its not a big deal as long as it doesnt get out of control. Friends should always help when they can....Its like that country song says "somebodies gonna drop everything, run out and crank up their car, hit the gas get their fast" when your broke down alongside the road...a real friend never says its too far.
1 person likes this
@Leixa003 (867)
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
I like the lyrics but i don't know that song. haha. I too believe loyalty is important. You should be loyal to the friendship but not to the extent of crushing your principles and morality. If ever you and your friend have a different view in life you can both stand on each others principle but respect the principle of the other. Happy myLotting!
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
28 Sep 08
I view true friends almost as an extention of family, the closer the friend, the closer to being extended family. Treat your freinds the way you want to be treated, with honesty, trust, and respect.
1 person likes this
@Leixa003 (867)
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
And sometimes there are things that you can only talk to a friend first before your family. I also know some great friendship between brothers and friends. They say he treats his brother as a friend and treats the friend as his brother. Some friends do treat me as their sister and eats my food. lol!
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
27 Sep 08
I think don't use and abuse a friend. If you want to have a good friend you need to be a good friend. Be supportive when needed, not judgemental.
1 person likes this
@Leixa003 (867)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
Your right. And may I add that if a friend just needs someone to listen then just listen and if that friend asked for an advice then that is the time one friend should give advise. Sometimes people just need someone who will listen to them. They already know what to do. And correct never be judgmental. Hope all people don't use and abuse friends.
@goldeneagle (6745)
• United States
27 Sep 08
Trust me with your life but not your money or your wife LOL
1 person likes this
@Leixa003 (867)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
Haha. So most friends really just fight over money and women. So they say friends are not good business partners right. Can I say friends are not good neighbors too if you live your wife alone in your house while you work abroad or out of town. hmm. lol! Happy mylotting. Good luck with your friends. lol.
@shanemre (357)
• Saudi Arabia
27 Sep 08
The unwritten rule of friendship for me is to always be a trustworthy friend. But then, you have to keep your eye on your back.. Friends will eventually be away from you after sometime, they will have to go other place, but this does not mean the friendship is lost forever. If you want to lose your friendship with your best friend, fall in love with her.
@Leixa003 (867)
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Yeah that's one rule. To not fall i love with your best friend unless you think it will be reciprocated or else be ready for the consequences it would bring. It's really hard to say if you both feel the same way. That is why some say that a friendship between a man and a woman is either platonic or one-sided love. Happy myLotting!
@Jxbutler (35)
27 Sep 08
I only have one "rule", although it's loose. Independance. I've been used and abused by friends plenty of times in the past. Not in any severe way or anything, but it's one of life's lessons. Warning bells ring in my head every time I hear "I need a favour...." because it's usually followed by a request for money or an attempt to drag me into a potentially dangerous situation they got themselves into. I'm happy to sacrifice my schedule and be there for a friend when they need company, and I'm happy to bail a friend out of serious trouble. The problem is we all seem to have 10% friends who'd do the same, and 90% 'friends' who only seem to speak to us when they want something.
1 person likes this
@Leixa003 (867)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
Oh it is really not easy to find friends to be there even if it is not so comfortable friend. I think you have friends that will think of you first if ever they need a skeleton to hide, i mean not literally but figuratively. happy mylotting! Are those 90% still your friends? haha.
• India
28 Sep 08
hello lexia, friendship is the most beautiful of god's creations. if you have a friend by your side you care nothing ....not even when the whole world is against you and then... that way you have someone to share with all the happiness and sorrows. a friend understands you no matter you say something or not. the friend feels what you intend to . and stands by you always!
@oderog (731)
• Kenya
27 Sep 08
You friend will sometine take you for granted when explaining serious issues, or issues that they dislike, No secret deal between friendship
@joytang (43)
• Singapore
27 Sep 08
I have friends who never leave me at my darkest hour. I really appreciate them. I return my appreciation by also not leaving them if they need me. I dont like friends who back stab or talk back behind my back. I have good friends which I have been together for decades. Those friends are very on. They will help me if I'm in need. That's what I call friends.
@Leixa003 (867)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
Good for you. At least you know the people you can rely on in times of trouble. And good for them to knowing you will be there for them. But if I may ask if ever your lover had some disagreements with your friend and wants you to choose between your friend or him/her, who would you choose?