Losing A Family Member

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January 13 of last year my eldest brother died of stroke. When he died none of us, his close family members where there. My brother and Mom was in Cavite but my mom had to go home to take care of something else. He died in front of my Aunt, two of my cousins and a friend who was talking to him before he died. It was such a pain to think that none of us were there with him when it happened. Me and my brother are not close to each other. We don't talk a lot and we don't even see each other a lot. The last time I saw him was December of 2006. When my daughter got hospitalized. I had a lot of hurt feelings for him before when I was still living with them. He even hurts me physically whenever he's drunk. If I think of it I still get hurt but I still have the feeling that he could have changed himself when he had his first attack. I know he learned a "few" lessons but the lessons he learned was not enough. He was still like a child. He continued to do what is forbidden for him to do until he had his 2nd attack and there it was his life was taken. I accept what happened to him since I know everything happens for a purpose and it's God's will. I just wish that we can turn back time and we could have at least bid him Goodbye before he was gone. :'( Did anybody of you lost a family member? How did you handle it?