What if your child comes home late?

I think that 30 minutes late is forgiveable. As long as she understands that you worry when she is late but that you will genuinely listen to and understand her excuses, you will build a position of trust and caring between you. What is important (especially at her age) is to allow her to make her own decisions ... with your agreement, of course. She's not your slave or property and she is (in her own mind - and you should understand it, too) no longer a child. Being on time for appointments is a very good habit to get into, whether it's being home on time, getting to school or work on time or not being late for interviews or meetings. If you punish automatically for being late, her mind will go into rebel mode and it will reflect on her promptness for anything, maybe for the rest of her life, because there will always be that 'little parent' inside her wagging its finger at her! If she has a cell phone, let her get into the habit of always texting or calling if she's expecting to be late. It's much better if there's an unavoidable delay or even a change of plan. Communication with caring is what it's all about.

My oldest son is only 11, but he definately knows that when he is told to be home at a certain time, he is to be home. I let it go the first couple of times, but the third time, I had told him to come home and check in at a certain time and he was late, I made him stay home the rest of the day. I don't feel that it is treating him like a criminal to punish him for being late. I am teaching him to be responsible and punctual. I have not had any further incidences with him since I took away his priviledge that one time. Now, he is sure to be home a couple of minutes early.

Hey cmathias, That's entirely up to you as you are her mother. I'm not really sure how you should treat this but, if it is something that she keeps doing after you keep telling her not to then I think that you should maybe start showing her that you are more serious about her coming home late. You don't have to treat her like a criminal, but you do need to impress upon her that she needs to follow your instructions and be home when you tell her. If she is already taking advantage at the age of 13 what are you going to do when she is 16? If she isn't listening now you are going to really have your hands full in a few more years if you don't set some ground rules now while she is still young enough to deal with.

If it only happens once or twice I think it is not a big deal. But if it happens a lot, I would tell her not to promise something that she would break anyway. It is not about coming home late, but it is about breaking the rule and the promise that she made. If she had something come up in the way, I think she can still keep contacting me and confirm when she would be back

hello cmathias, i suggest that you give your daughter a condition if she came late at home. like for example you wont give her an allowance if she get late. ?

I will give him a first warning and a second one,and on the third time if he still come home late ,i will ground him for going out for a week

I hate it when family members are home late, cmathias. We still have our 21yo son living at home, and even though he's that age, I still like to know whether to expect him home for the night or not. It's common courtesy for him to tell us, I feel, while he's living under our roof. Teenagers are an extra worry, and I know just how you feel when your daughter is late. Maybe you could punish her by making her miss the next outing - she won't be happy, but you can explain what it's like from a parent's point of view to be sitting waiting, with horrible things going through your mind. Missing one outing will give her time to think about how her lateness impacts on her family. Does she have a mobile phone? If so, she could send you a text message or phone you if she was running late, to let you know she was safe and on her way.

no way dear..punshing your child is not the solution of this problem.as far as my thinking goes in this regard,you must talk to your daughter with love and try to convience her to be careful.she is little now and will only understand the language of love not of stick.if u would be harsh t her,may be she grts out of your hand forever.so be careful and do not punish her