Can you be to honest
By Dday50627
@Dday50627 (359)
United States
September 28, 2008 12:18pm CST
I sit here wondering if one can be too open or too honest. When we want people to truly know us, do we disclose the inner self? I dont mean some deep dark nasty you have hanging in the closet. I am talking about the "You" that is who they would meet if they came face to face with you. I have met a lot of my internet friends face to face. Some were exactly what I thought I would find. They were the same person I spoke to or typeed to every single day. They looked, talked and acted like they did on the net.
On the flip side, I have met with some that boggled my mind. The pictures we shared back and forth were for certain either NOT this person or Not recent in manyyyyyyy years. I on the other hand look exactly like the Me they have come to know. But deeper than that are the actions. Some are perfectly the same as I have known. The quirks the movements, even the issue are there as they told me they would be. But some failed to share their ummm "evil Twin" as it is sometimes referred to.
Can you tell to much about yourself? Don't you want people to know the real true you? I do and yet even I am reluctant to tell some things about myself because I don't want them to turn and walk away when we meet. Always open about where I am as far as having a relationship. Them coming to me knowing I wont wantan "everlasting" or "forever." But did I need to tell them that along with the Bipolar, and I alwaysssss tell them that... I have issues with space and needing to breathe, do i need to be deep down revealing honest with them? Do they need to know I am what is refered to as a "cutter." No details here. Just a question. It isn't something they are going to see unless we are intimate and they see it. Is it ok too keep some things inside?
What do you "show and tell" when you might come face to face with someone you have met here? I wonder if my openess and honesty might be too much. I have told you in here one of my most deeply kept secrets if you read and see it. Now... I wonder...
5 people like this
14 responses
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I do see your point as far as simply not revealing it all. Sometimes I think that is best I just haven't learned how to do that very well, yet. And Forrest... I don't know, i think lieing even to ammuse is still perhaps lieing. I hope I am ammusing at times even without a lie... Thank you both for the responces.
1 person likes this
@forrest0000 (7)
• China
29 Sep 08
Well, it's embarrassing to say, I lie a lot on-line.
but the sole purpose for me to tell lies is to amuse people I meet, nothing harm I guess.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
29 Sep 08
Great you did manage to meet the friends that you meet in the net. I have not met anyone this far. Maybe you're right but for me I am not too open to people that I am not familiar with as I don't see any good in other people knowing my personal biodata. Furthermore there is nothing interesting in me that can be of interest to others. Let friendship grows in anonymity. By and by you will soon get a glimpse of the real person through his/her writings here. But if I am asked who I am and my real name, I will not hesitate to tell.
1 person likes this
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I may be a bit to open maybe but I like that you have said if asked you will openly tell. That is honesty at it's best. then you know the person is truly interested in you as a person. Thank you for that.
@paid2write (5201)
•
28 Sep 08
I think most people will have some things they want to hold back, even if it is only to protect others close to them.
I try always to be honest and I do find I can tell more personal things about myself at myLot, because of its anonymity, and because there are other people who may undertand what I'm saying. I know there are also those who will never understand, but it doesn't really matter to me if they see something they don't like in my responses.
I've never met anyone in person after getting to know them online, but if someone met me in person, I think they would find I'm the same in real life as I am on the net.
1 person likes this
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
28 Sep 08
I agree with you for it all except that I do care so deeply what people think of me. I am always afraid I will say one thing to many and they will see me as a freak of some kind. My honesty is more than just writing. It is a cleansing and very therapuetic. So if i lie about something then how is that helping at all. I think it isss easier to talk of your "personals" here because you will probably never see this person face to face but then again... I see everyone I meet here as a potential face to face... Thank you for writing Hugs always...
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
29 Sep 08
i am always very open but its been biting me in the butt so i have been trying to learn how to not be as open as usual.. but if i feel that the person wont stab me in the back or run/hurt me etc then i am usually totally open.. i think a lot depends on what you think the friendship will be like.. if you think its gonna be a casual talk to every once in awhile thing then you may not feel you have to say as much etc.. i dunno a lot of people have screwed me over and i have found that the quicker you hit it off the shorter it will last.. the people i take months to slowly become friends with last years..
1 person likes this
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I understand your words and yes... there are people here that can and will hurt you. They seem to seek out certain souls and then pounce on them. I am I think wayyyyyy to trusting and far to honest sometimes for my own good. I just dont want someone getting closer to me and then having them say "why didnt you ever tell me that?" At that point it no longer feels to me like an ommision... it feels like a lie. So I tend to do the TMI to often... Who knows maybe it saves some heartbreak later on. Thanks for always being so good to write. Hugs, Me...
1 person likes this
@thaMARKER (2503)
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
not all the time. I mean keeping people around doesn't mean you have to be honest to them all the time. keeping secrets from them might save the friendship/relationship. Well unless if it depends on the lie or the situation.
By nature I'm really not that open to people. Though they find me talkative sometimes but don't be too sure that it's all about truth. hehehe..
1 person likes this
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
29 Sep 08
i knwo that sometimes, the less you know of someone the easier it is to talk but I still like the "Look, I am bipolar, I cut, I cry, I laugh and I love to have fun approach I think. Mills out the ones that were going to cease talking to you after they found out anyways. Thank you for reading and responding. I appreciate it,.
1 person likes this
@Mikaela_taz25 (1842)
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
It's better to be true than to pretend. otherwise one day you will run out of lies and excuses..
1 person likes this
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
29 Sep 08
you are so right... exactly. My father used to say "if you always tell the truth you wont have to worry whether you tell the story the same way when asked again." Thank you for your responce and for reading.
1 person likes this
@narayan2006 (2954)
• India
28 Sep 08
I express my trueself as clearly as possible through the discussions I have opened up so far and the comments I have offered in response to different issues. They speak volume about my attitude,perception and tastes that describe the whole of what I am,in the real terms.There are times when my behaviour and mood change and I react differently to the surroundings.I feel getting transformed,in every new day,in to a evolved personality with more balanced mind set and outlook.All the changes occuring within me,in the inner and outer sphere are getting fully and truely reflected in my presentation and interaction with all of you,on different occasions. Thanks.
@melvinandheather1 (540)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I am very honest. I can't lie well unless it is like a gift or something. My husband picks on me because i'll tell him a fib and then i'll fess up to it within lik 10 minutes. I can't keep it in. I try my best, but I just can't I feel really guilty for doing it. My husband if he thinks that I am fibbing will look at me and say are you kidding, and most of the time i'll say yes. I can't help it.
For some reason I just don't do it that well. Works out well for our relationship bbecause I can hide anything, but sometimes causes people to try to take advantage of it. My husband is very honest also, i couldn't be with someone that wasn't. If i have enough respect for him to tell the truth then it should be the same with me. Works out well. Great discussion.
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
29 Sep 08
thank you for your responce here.I am the same way and tell on myself moments after i have tried to tell a fib. That is a great way to be in you relationship and that honesty took my wife through 24 years of beautiful love. Thank you again for a very positive responce. Darrel
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I used to be totally open and honest online. I'd tell the whole world anything and everything about myself. But, I got hurt several times, and scared by a stalker as well. Now I'm much more cautious in what I tell people on here. My answers to any discussion are honest. But, I may not answer some discussions that I don't want to be so open to. There are some things about me that I just don't feel the virtual world needs to know. Heck, there are some things the REAL world doesn't need to know. LOL And yes, I think you can tell too much about yourself. If you tell all, where is the mystery in that? I find people in general much more interesting if there are some things I don't know about them, or can't pick up on. If I know everything about them, down to the size of their underwear or how many cavaties they have then why get to know them at all? Apparently I already do!
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
29 Sep 08
yes i think i am finding that out. That you can be to open... too honest. I guess i just dont want anyone to ever think I am hiding something. I pretty much Do leave nothing to question. and yes, I have been "pursued" by a few ummm "less than ok" ladies but then I opened myself up. And as i said I have MET some very nice people from online too. thank you for writing... Always, Darrel
@crazytimes (151)
• India
1 Oct 08
I am honest as far any person wants to be honest.only the situation creates lies.In this materialistic world honesty has little value.Iam honest because my father is a honest man.I have been brought up with true values in life.To be frank with you I am not very successful man because of honest, Neither my dad is.Iam talking about money wise .Honestly i have not given much priority for money in my life.Still I donot intend to take even I find 1000 bucks missed by someone.I think it for someone needy.I am not good at telling lies,I am not that intelligent,so better to tell truth which saves many lies.I have few friend,because I am true to them.many do not tolerate when their mistakes were pointed out.Day will come when they understand the value of honesty.If you are honest you are close to god,What else you need then?.Being honest gives you some pride which needs careful handling to save from lot of problems in life.I love to see honest people.Whenever I meet such people I would want to give them anything they want,alas my limitation comes into picture.For me honesty should be preserved as they are a endangered species now honestly.
@Sheepie (3112)
• United States
28 Sep 08
I'm a very honest person nowadays. I think that my ability to lie has gotten worse so now I just kind of tell the truth when someone asks me something. On the internet, what you see is what you get. I have a few pictures of me around, but I mostly post them in places that are more teen oriented, because, since Mylot is more likely to have adults on it, I'm a little bit more wary. I love to share my opinion and experiences, and give and take advice.
1 person likes this
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
28 Sep 08
I understand your words and Appreciate them. To be open and tell what you think is always a good thing. It helps the person you are talking to know what kind of soul they are dealing with. It leaves them the choice whether they want to continue writing or not, Thank you again for responding.
1 person likes this
@joytang (43)
• Singapore
29 Sep 08
i am not a difficult person to know. but i wont reveal too much things abt myself when i start make friends. i will only open up myself if i have known the person for long or to person that i feel comfortable with. i will not be too honest with ppl i chat on the internet friends. cos i dunno them. perhaps if we chat for v long, perhaps like a "penpal"? even if you are honest abt urself, the other party might not b as honest as u.... they might wan to cheat u. (eg. a guy pretending to b a girl to chat with u on the internet) u wont know.
1 person likes this
@wampirencja (164)
• Poland
28 Sep 08
I used well... tell little lies about myself when I met someopne on the net. Just to look more smart or interesting (my bofyriend always laugh on my, since it was only thing I could be ashamed of :D) I tell about other interest I don't really have etc. I started in this way a relationship 4 years ago - it lasted 3. I told my boyfriend that I was not-really-telling-everything, and it was OK with him, he knew the real me and accepted.
This relationship I'm in currently was started with telling everything I've done wrong, how sometiems cruel I could be with worlds and how lazy. And it turned much better not to pretend to be someone else - and he love me that way. I don't tell anything more than it's true, I like to people know how I really am :)
1 person likes this
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
28 Sep 08
thqnk you for your open responce. It seems that being totally open with someone has beena good thing for you and i am so happy it worked out for you. Thank you so much
1 person likes this
@ucue2008 (924)
• Malaysia
29 Sep 08
Can other people really know who we are? Even me myslef do not understand my ownself, let alone other people can understand me. I guess, its about accepting and perception, becasue if i worry too much wether people can accept me the true me, I will be insane. Its about myself, and I am accepting my ownself, even though at times, i am not honest with my ownself.
