My In Laws Hate Me
By jwiz512
@jwiz512 (78)
United States
September 29, 2008 11:29am CST
I have been married to my husband for 26 yrs. My in-laws still hate me because they have this thing about who is blood and who is not. I have been married before and have children from my other marriage. Our first real beef was about the fact that they would never accept my children as being one whole family. They would send Christmas gifts to only the sons I had by my husband and that's where all the fighting began. When I had another small child who was only 4 yrs old he would wonder why Santa sent his two brothers gifts through the mail and not him. I have raised foster children also and one has acutally lived his life with us. He is now 29 years old and we are his family. I never speak of half brothers or step brothers, etc. My sons are my sons no matter who's blood is running through their vains. My husband has always taken his families side in everything and when I speak up I am always the one who is wrong. Recently this past Christmas he told me the only family that is his was our two sons and his birth family. This hurt me so bad and was the cause of some major problems. He hit me with all this on Christmas eve and then he was supposed to go in the hospital the day after Christmas. After years of taking care of him for his numerous medical conditions I finally decided this time I would not be present 24/7 during his hospital stay. My nerves were shot and I eventually had to leave my home and go stay somewhere else because his family was sending me nasty emails and phone calls of how I was this horrible person. I bit my tongue and never fought back this time. To top it off they all lived as close as I was to him and not a single one has ever come to help me with him or visit him in the hospital even when he was having open heart surgery. However this time the surgery was not serious and I felt that he should see who would step in my place and take care of him if I wasn't around. He was planning on moving away to a mountain which is pretty far from us. I told him if he did, then I would not be there with him because I want to be with my FAMILY (meaning my children and grandson). They condem me because I wasn't there for the less serious surgery after Christmas yet none of them would come down to help him. This man has had about 30 surgeries in his life and I have packed his chest that was laid wide open due to the hernia he had. I done things that I could never have done before for him. Then when he is finished with me taking care of him, he tells me he never asked me to do so or he didn't need me to take care of him. He then takes his families side in all they say and do. I was never good enough for him or his family simply because I was not blood related. What would you have done if this happened to you on Christmas eve and how would you feel if your husband told you that you weren't family, along with the other children? What would you do if your husband's family is always attacking you and he takes their side? Would you be there for him?
2 responses
@rainmark (4302)
•
29 Sep 08
I never yet experienced that,. it's so sad that your husband never take your part, maybe he still have an a go because you have a son from other relationships. He and his family treating you so bad, i wonder why until now you still with him, and hitting you is not a good thing to do and he can't accept his step son. That's really a big trouble and problem, hope that you talked about it before you got married to him to avoid this situation you have right now. happy posting and hope you feel better soon and you can still solve that problem in your family.
@jwiz512 (78)
• United States
29 Sep 08
He knew about my other children when we were going together and when we got married. I kept going back with him because the kids wanted me to. No matter how much he abused me or them, they still wanted to come back home and be with Daddy so I continued to stay with him. He knew when we got married that children were my life and still are. I would die for my kids and my grandchild if I had to. I was a foster child and I knew how it felt to not be loved. He was like a dream come true when we were dating but the night we got married, his whole attitude changed and I seen the real man he was. I couldn't believe that someone could change that quickly on the very day they married you. There are so many problems with us now and I am older and sometimes I just feel like I don't want to start all over again so I tolerate it. I am the one who seeks counseling in order to deal with it but sometimes even the professionals get tired of helping you when you don't just pick up and leave. Thank you for your response and I appreciate it.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
22 Oct 08
When a couple decides to marry or even enter into a long term relationship, you have to accept the baggage that comes with each person...sometimes this is kids, pets, jobs, family or any number of things. The fact that your husband doesn't consider the other children as part of his family must hurt not only you but the children as well. Why on earth you'd put up with this is beyond me but we all make our own choices. The best I can say is your choices would seem to be...stay and accept things as they are and just grin and bear it or start a new life with your children and make them the center of your world.
If it was me, I'd have taken my kids and started over...away from him and his crazy family. BTW, the not sending gifts things to the other kids at Christmas is just cruel of his family.
[b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~
**AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]