complicated

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Known to most, I am one heck of a lucky lass, as if all the luck has been showered upon me. Unknown to most, I have become a monotonous wreck. A, yeah. Why shouldn't I be lucky nga naman? I have been given a perfectly dreamt job with a perfectly dreamt five-figured salary from one of the perfectly dreamt big companies of Asia. I get most of the things I want with this, I travel, check in at fancy hotels, eat in posh bistros... and the list goes on. I have an expected perfect relationship with jjay. His family's always invited in our events, same with mine. Our families are in good terms. Yes, including dad. And since jjay's out of the country and I have a perfectly built life many think the future looks bright on us. I am spoiled. I get what I want with only simple requests. Now that I'm at my 23rd, I still get uber attention from mom and dad. Shouldn't I be so grateful? Still, in every luck comes twice the mishaps. In work, I am a hopeless underdog. In love, I am a bewildered half. In life, I am a lost soul. My life is built with planned dots that I have to follow to reveal a picture that people think I should be, not what I want me to be. But to follow what I want me to be? I barely have the guts. I admire happy wrecked people. They're wrecked big time. Still, they're happy with such a big wreckage.