How do you save a marriage?

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I have been married for 17 years. we have been on this roller coaster that has some of the same twist and turns. I'm tired of being on this roller coater marriage! I want to halp my marriage, but I don't know how to get my husband to hear me. He don't like to help with chores around the house, and he is harder in one of our boys than the two. I don't like his parenting skills. I think he thinks children should do as I say not what I do. My husband and I don't do any thing together any more. When we get home from work I can't even sit down for a few minutes. I have to get dinner started. He comes home and starts out with demands he wants done. He some times will sit and tell the boys what he wants them to do. He will call his friends and make plans to leave. some times they come and hang out at the house, but usually he will go else where. My husband has a drinking proublem and drug proublem. I get so sick of him partying as much as he does. He says there is more to life than watching tv and being on the computer. That is what my boys and I do most of the time. We don't have time or energy to do nuch else. I have tried to change the way chores are done and I do more now, so my boys don't have to. What do you all think I shoud do? Leaving him don't work and trying to make him want to leave don't work. Trying to read books don't work ether.