How do you save a marriage?

United States
October 1, 2008 4:15am CST
I have been married for 17 years. we have been on this roller coaster that has some of the same twist and turns. I'm tired of being on this roller coater marriage! I want to halp my marriage, but I don't know how to get my husband to hear me. He don't like to help with chores around the house, and he is harder in one of our boys than the two. I don't like his parenting skills. I think he thinks children should do as I say not what I do. My husband and I don't do any thing together any more. When we get home from work I can't even sit down for a few minutes. I have to get dinner started. He comes home and starts out with demands he wants done. He some times will sit and tell the boys what he wants them to do. He will call his friends and make plans to leave. some times they come and hang out at the house, but usually he will go else where. My husband has a drinking proublem and drug proublem. I get so sick of him partying as much as he does. He says there is more to life than watching tv and being on the computer. That is what my boys and I do most of the time. We don't have time or energy to do nuch else. I have tried to change the way chores are done and I do more now, so my boys don't have to. What do you all think I shoud do? Leaving him don't work and trying to make him want to leave don't work. Trying to read books don't work ether.
2 people like this
2 responses
@srganesh (6340)
• India
17 May 09
Tolerance and accepting the other with all qualities,either good or bad can only save a marriage.In your case,minimize your works,learn a hobby,read novels and stories and be keen on enjoying your life.If you mother's home is near,go there in the week ends for a change.Also make arrangements for vacations whenever possible which will develop more closeness.Cheers!
@mjmlagat (3170)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
I think you need to be honest and frank with him, that if you really still want to give this marriage a try, I guess to still do for your kids' sake. He needs to change for such a negative attitude will surely ruin your relationship. You have to let him speak out his mind whether he still wants a life with you so that you'll know whether to hold on to yoyr marriage or to move on with another happier life than you are experiencing now with him.