Spanking, a requirement for discipline?
By chicha0522
@chicha0522 (648)
Guam
October 2, 2008 6:00am CST
Discipline is something that you cannot remove from the family. In any household you will find thet parents have different ways of implementing discipline. Some people shout until their throat hurts, others try to discipline with their sweetness and patience, and there are those who spank once in a whole or most of the time.
In America, I know, a spank can lead from disciplining to child abuse. Espacially if the child is the one who starts a conversation like,"My daddy and mommy spank me everyday." A teacher or another person can interpret it as something suspicious and report you to the police/social services.
But I have spoken to other parents, they say, spanking is something you can do to tell the child that he/she has done something wrong. I admit I have experienced an occasional spanking when I was a child. But I never thought of it as an abuse.
What do you guys think?
4 responses
@amzthienne (218)
• Philippines
3 Oct 08
Spanking or corporal punishment can never be consider as a requirement to discipline your child. He/ she may follow you not because she/he wanted to do so but the child will follow you coz he/she does not want to be hurt. You will just create a fear NOT RESPECT.When I was still young my grandfather would usually spank me even for just a single mistake and he would tell such a mean words that it'll even hurt you emotionally. Since then, whenever my grandfather was just around the house I won't get out of my room coz I'm so scared that I might do anything wrong in the eyes of my grandfather. Now, I already have a son I didn't hurt him or spanked him but If I need to discipline him, grounding him is what I do, to implement a punishment whenever he commits mistake.
@chicha0522 (648)
• Guam
3 Oct 08
wow, that was such a traumatic experience for you... I feel so sorry that you had to experience that kind of thing during your childhood. No one should be allowed to experience such thing. I think people who are not able to cope up with that kind of experience grow up to be disturbed and emotionally fragile. I salute you for getting through that experience and making it a basis so you won't have to commit the same mistake you your child.
@chicha0522 (648)
• Guam
3 Oct 08
No problem, thanks for dropping by my post. I appreciate you sharing your experience.
@amzthienne (218)
• Philippines
3 Oct 08
Thanks for the sympathy... yes, I guess I'm lucky coz I've surpassed that kind of experience, maybe I really need to survive from that kind of experience in order for me to be strong in my life and it really helps me a lot in raising my son. That's why I really don't believe in corporal punishment coz it won't do anything good for a child in terms of discipline. Thanks again. Happy mylot.
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
2 Oct 08
When I was a kid, my parents spanked me and said that it was a means for them to show me how they love me. They said so because of their love they didn't want me to be someone who indiscipline. The difference treatment done towards my siblings, they are raised with a better way. They never got spanked.
I always believe that there are different ways to make someone discipline. It is true that when I was little, I used to be more rebel than my siblings. But spanking, I didn't see it as a good way to discipline the children. I felt the effects when I got older and know better.
I became someone different than my siblings. I became harder, and rebellious. I don't believe in anything and I became more stubborn out of the disciplinary matter. I became someone who was more individualistic and believe in violence in getting what I want to get. These are not in my siblings' personalities.
Apart from the abusive treatment, I think spanking and any other physical punishment would bring some traumatic and psychological wound that would be brought forever. It happened to me, so that I knew.
@chicha0522 (648)
• Guam
2 Oct 08
hmmm people do respond differently. I was not spanked often, but I had my days. I grew up thinking that if I did something wrong I would get spanked my my mom or dad.
But i guess, it depends on how spanking is conjoined with other discipline manners.
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
2 Oct 08
Well.. I experienced it quite often, and my partner was also had been through the same thing. I believe that the spanking and any physical punishment has something to do with the child psychological and kids attitude towards another people when they grew up. I see it from many people around me, those who never get spanked are tend to be softer and those who experienced many physical punishment tend to be more harsh and hard in handling people.
@chicha0522 (648)
• Guam
3 Oct 08
hmmm, that's an interesting observation.
I hope when I have my own children I would be able to discipline them without the need to physically hurt (not abuse, but more on spanking) them.
I have a different experience though. But I can see the harshness on handling other people. Sometimes, when I think about it, the way I talk whenever I get mad, is exactly the same as how my parents talk to me when they're mad.
@barefoot48066 (58)
•
7 Oct 08
I experienced more than an occasional spanking growing up. LOL. It was my mother's main form of punishment. I really don't see anything wrong with it. Some parents spank unfairly or for no good reason, but the problem is the unfairness, not the spanking as opposed to some other punishment.
@chicha0522 (648)
• Guam
9 Oct 08
THE RULE IN OUR HOME IS TO SPANK WHATEVER PART OF THE BODY DID WRONG. thIS IS TO SEND A MESSAGE TO A CHILD THAT WHAT THAT CERTAIN PART OF THE BODY DID WAS WRONG.
fOR EXAMPLE: iF A CHILD SAYS A BAD WORD, WE GIVE HER A LIGHT SPANK ON THE LIPS, AND WE SAY THAT WORD IS BAD.
fOR ME THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH SPANKING. bUT PARENTS SHOULD KNOW WHEN TO STOP AND THEY SHOULD LEARN OTHER MEANS OF PUNISHING. SPANKING SHOULD BE A LAST RESORT FOR DISCIPLINE.
@EAStanley (2688)
• United States
6 Oct 08
Spanking was not good for me. :( But, every kid is different. I don't know.
@chicha0522 (648)
• Guam
9 Oct 08
yES, i AGREE. iT DEPENDS ON HOW YOU TAKE THE SPANKING. WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT WAYS OF ADAPTING AND REACTING TO CERTAIN THINGS.
i CANNOT SAY THAT SPANKING IS EFFECTIVE OR NOT EFFECTIVE. bUT IT SHOULD ALSO BE REINFORCED AND GUIDED BY OTHER MEANS OF DISCIPLINE.sUCH AS THE OCCASIONAL TALKING, OPEN FORUMS, EXPLANATIONS, RESTRICTIONS TO BENEFITS, ETC. bECAUSE IF WE LET CHILDREN BE PUNISHED WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT THEY DID WRONG OR WHY THEY'RE BEING PUNISHED.
iF THEY ARE PUNISHED WITHOUT KNOWING THE REASON WHY, A NON PRODUCTIVE REACTION MAY START TO FORM SUCH AS REBELLION.
