Did You Fly The Nest Or Were You Pushed?

When I was 18 I flew the nest to move in with a partner/lover. After all these years I have gotten so accustomed to doing things my own way that I don't think I could live with a parent again. I am not even sure if my parent would want to live with me either. HA!

I was always a very independent person, even as a teenager. This always put a strain on the relationship between me and my mother because she was/is a control freak! After I graduated high school and got a full time job I just started spending more and more time away from home staying with friends. My mother finally put her foot down and said that I was either going to live at home or I had to get all my stuff out and get my own place. So I got my own place. That was just a month before my 18th birthday. I did go back once, I had no choice at the time due to circumstances beyond my control but didn't stay long. Then I had to come back many years later to take care of my father when he was dying. My parents had divorced and there was no one there to take care of him. I don't know if I could live with my mother now. She's my best friend and we get along very well but she is still a control freak and would get on my nerves pretty quickly if I had to live with her. I'm afraid we'd be at each other's throats after just a couple of weeks. I would avoid it like the plague if at all possible.

In our culture, we don't have that option of 'flying the mother's nest'. If you have to study or work at some place other than where you live with your parents, then its the only option I guess. As for me, I got my first job just after I finished college and had to live in a hostel. Anyway, I used to be back at my(parents')house every weekend. And then I got married and had to move to my husband's house. That is because I am a girl. My husband didn't have to move away from his parents unless he had a job outside the place. I prefer it this way because I love to live with my parents/in-laws rather than alone by myself. I need people with me all the time. Staying alone makes me feel bored. Staying with our parents doesn't make us dependant on them. Slowly, we take over when they become old and we will have no dearth of good advice when we need it.

I was pushed out and it was all due to my cousin's fault. She was rude to my mother and I was trying to make peace and got tossed out because of it. Wehn I was in my last month of pregnancy she asked me to come home and I did but I had a place that I rented before so when I had baby and returned to work I went back to my place which was quite near to her and she would baby sit. I am happy that she through me out because even now I took in someone with her baby and she is 25 older thatn I was thrown out and she was thrown out by her aunt and has nothing. I have encouraged her to try to find a job to better herself.

When I was a kid, I looked forward to getting out on my own. Would that I felt comfortable enough in the house to stick around. I think that a few more years in the house can help someone get on their feet. It also provides a few more years of oversight, as you can't just go partying every weekend. However, there is the one little glitch. That is, standard of living. A person who lives with their parents for too long generally spends their available money and gets used to doing so. Moving out on your own or buying your own house, both good steps forward in life, cost so much that they will have to cut back on the 'fun' they are used to having. To that end, if you are staying at home, I think you should still be paying what would amount to a normal rent so there isn't quite the same "sticker shock" preventing you from moving out.

I left home for studying from my 15years old to now.Although sometimes I will meet many difficults and do long for my parents very much,yet I will not choose stay home.I believe that I need creat my world with my effort.However,I will not fly the nest too far,my heart will stay with my parents all the time at least.So I telephone home often.

I left home when I was 19 because I was married with a child. I think my parents would have let all three of us live there permanently but much as I loved them both I couldn't live with them once I had my own family.

I moved out as soon as I could as my Childhood was not one of the best Do not get me wrong I get on great now with my Mum and have done for over 20 years and things are sorted but at the time it was bad I could never live with my Mum again lol as she can be so over powering but it does not mean I do not love her as I do I just could not once I moved out ever move home again xxx

Well, I've been technically moved out for three years now, but I really haven't left. I still spend weekends at my mom's and she still does a lot for me. I don't really want to leave altogether and if I could move back, I probably would, but my mom doesn't like my husband living there lol.

I did want to fly the nest. I wanted what is popularly known as "freedom," which I later came to know is just a man-created myth like some other myths such as "love," "God," and many more. There is nothing called "freedom." We can't be free from anything in this universe because we are so closely related. Ok, philosophy apart, I did try to fly when I was sixteen. I went to college about 60 kms away and stayed at the hostel. I had to come back home in 18 months owing to an aggravation of depression and anxiety. Then I tried to fly again at age 23. I met a skunk, mistook him to be a man, married him, paid for it, and returned home again. Then I trying flying again at age 29. I went to Bangalore, a huge metro, teeming with traffic and humanity. I hated it so much that I found myself back home again. Now I have decided to stop running away so much. I mean, why was I running away? From Mom? She is harmless really. It is just this urge in me to "achieve" something. By the way, "achievement" is also a myth. Right now, I am happy ... freelance writing, gardening, music, pets, and all that. I don't know where the money is coming from, but somehow it does. I guess life goes on. :) Cheers and happy mylotting

i flew & was i ever glad to be out of there. all my parents did was fuss & fight. i eloped like a ninny & that didn't last but 5 years but i got a wonderful son out of it.

i flew & was glad to get out of there. all my parents did was fuss & scream at each other & my sister & i. i elporf like a niiny & that didn't last but 5 years but i got a wonderfulson out of it soo it wasn't all bad.

I myself left at the age of 15 the first time. Lived on the street for a while then was arrested and was sent home. Got pregnant and left again at the age of 18 to move in with the father but he was a drinker and sorts so I left him and went back home at the age of 21. Then met my husband a year later and left home again. I have now been gone for 11 years and will not go back for good. I have gone to visit and stay a weekend to help mom out but will not live there again we just butt heads when we live together.

i personally did not fly yet out of my nest, though i will hope to be out soon and even though they joke for me to move out of the house, the really do not want me to. my parents are encouraging me to move out of my house and buy a house of my own but i feel no real need to do so yet, i have the money it just i feel i will be all lonely in a big house by myself, and with my parents i know i will have food, and someone to talk to.

I first left home at 20 when I joined the military but used to go back for leave etc a couple of times a year plus some weekends till I got out at aged 26 and returned to living with my family again. I stayed there for another 3 years till I married and so my now ex-wife and I had our own place. Some 15 years later when we marriage broke down, I moved back in with my mother but only stayed there on weekends as I started to do interstate truck driving and so spent the week away from home. Some 2 years later I realised the lady I met about a year after my marriage broke up was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, so we moved in together. We have now been living together haooily for quite a few years. So for me it was a case of being able to fly the nest but always know I could return if the need arose, which it did a couple of times.

Hi Wolfie That's a good discussion. I left my nest quite early in life for something undefined. People call it LOVE. But once I started to live without my parents, loved ones and my home, I realised what it was actually. It took a few important years of my life to withstand the thrashes and when I finally did I never looked back. I stood tall, went back to my parents who received me with open arms and am still there. Parents are always right and now I know how important they are. I cannot reverse things but I can certainly make them feel happy. I would never like to leave them ever gain. Thanks.

I nearly flew at fourteen. It was an abusive and bad time in my life. And I had wanted to run away. I didn't, due to friends not knowing if they could help me make it in the outside world at such a young age. Now I'm older, and after next year's when I should be leaving for my own life...but I can't. Number one: I have no money to buy my own place. NOR do I have money for living in a dorm at a college. Renting is a waste of money, houses are also expensive, and even if I were to simply buy an acre or so to live on in a tent or yurt or something, I don't know if I can afford to actually buy a tent or yurt that's big enough to hold my little bit of stuff and that would be warm enough by time winters come around (the living part'd be fine otherwise, I grew up a little wild and I'm used to living with the land). Mom most likely will not push me out either. I'm not a bum like my little brother or a juvenile delinquent like my half and older brother was. I'm just as troubled of a youngling, but I tend to be more responsibility-minded than my own parents. In fact, we may not have...as a family...made it this far if not for me. For a few years I had to raise my little brother because my parents were gone at work all the time. On top of that, I had to look after and clean the whole house, I had dishes, meals to prepare, laundry, animals to look after...the farm to maintain -- as well as my own education! I never had to be taught the meaning of responsibility, nor did I ever have to be taught how to manage a house and a family. Nowadays, Mom and I often joke that we've reversed roles. I'm the adult parent and SHE'S the teenager. And no matter what you may think..."home" has never been a very comfortable place for me. It was my shelter...not much more. I've never really ever been able to call anywhere "home" in the truest sense of the word, because nowhere has ever FELT like home. But I digress. Mom would love to have the house all to herself. But she won't kick me out. She can't afford to have me leave because my money often takes care of us where hers' and Dad's falls short. And I can't really afford to leave, even though, with my attempting to start up my new business next year...I hope to travel as much as possible. I won't be able to afford hotels, so this means camping by the roadside to places longer than a day's ride away. (I expect to be selling my wares at flea markets and farmers markets). Hopefully this will compensate for my longing to wander and get away from my family...which is something I've had for most of my teenage-hood. Provided nothing much is caused by my parents, or done to make me change my mind...while I prefer to be alone as far as my life goes...I have no problem living with them again in the future. People often wonder how that's true when I don't even trust my own flesh and blood, but you know...distrust is not synonymous with dislike. I don't hate the buggers, they're nearly all I have. We're just dysfunctional and occasionally estranged. No biggie.

I'm so sorry for coming in so late. No I didn't fly on my own, I was pushed by my father and I felt very bad for this for many years. Even now also I remember those days.

I left home when I was about 20 years old. I ran away from home.. My grandmother was very strict, so I left home, so that I could have a life far from being held down.. I have not gotten into trouble though.. I got married and had three kids.. I have went back home to live about 7 times since I ran away from home. And each time, my grandmother welcomed me with opening arms..

I was "stolen". My maternal grand-parents took me out of a home with a physically, verbally, emotionally abusive father. I was 7. I never looked back.