love and marriage

United States
November 6, 2006 1:43pm CST
I have a friend who is going through one of the roughest times of her life and I'm looking for input on how I can help her out. Any and all help is appreciated. My friend's marriage is falling apart, she's not in love with her hubby and has been scared of him in the past because she thought he would hit her. She wants to file for divorce and move on with her life. However her family is totally against her leaving him. Her parents and grandmother have told her that if she leaves her hubby that she is cut out of their wills, no inheritance and they will never want to speak with her again. That if she leaves him they want NOTHING to do with her or her future family, children included. I don't know how to help her through this. My marriage is happy and full of love. And even if it wasn't my parents would understand and support any desision I make. I don't know how to help her through this. Right now I'm pretty much the only person who isn't shunning her for her choices in her life. I want to support her in this, I just don't know how. Help? What would you do if you were in my shoes?
1 person likes this
2 responses
Mother May I
@tarheelnancy (1317)
• United States
6 Nov 06
Continue being there for her. She needs your support now more than ever. I would tell her it doesn't matter what your parents or grandmother thinks, it is her life and she should live it the way she wants to. She isn't happy and staying in the marriage will depress her more. I can't believe her family is doing this to her! Isn't their childs happiness the most important thing in their life? I would have her talk to them again and tell them if they don't support her on this she DOESN"T want to speak to them again either. What if he actually does start hitting her? Tell her, her family may be important but so is her life and she must save herself, before he starts destroying her emotionally and/or physically! I wish her the best on this.
reneous
@reneous (716)
• United States
6 Nov 06
Have you tried suggesting she and her husband go to counseling? If he's just an abusive kind of person, then counseling may not do any good - but you never know until you try. It sounds like she has a lot riding on this marriage, and even though she has to make decisions for herself whether or not her family supports her, I know it would be a lot easier for everyone to find some common ground. As far as your role in it, I say just be a shoulder to lean on, and a listening ear. These are all HER decisions, and if you "made them for her," she may resent you later on down the road.