Do you think I'm a racist?
By kenzie45230
@kenzie45230 (3560)
United States
October 3, 2008 11:26am CST
I ask because of something that happened on Tuesday. I was scheduled for some tests to see if I qualified for a medical study about menopause. I was being paid $100 for doing the tests that day, and if I qualify, I'll be paid either $50 or $100 each time I go, depending on what is involved in the visit. The study will last 14 months.
The examination and testing was done in a part town with which I'm not familiar so hubby printed out a map for me. He didn't think to print out a return map, and as I left after the tests, I realized that was a mistake. One of the roads which I took is a two-way street at the end closest to my house (about 5 miles from my house) and a one-way street near the medical facilities.
I had been in this part of town before, but not since I first arrived in town a few years back. Hubby had gone to a church in that part of town for 20 years, so we went there every Sunday when we first got married, then moved our membership to a church closer to our home. I remembered the name of the street that went the other way and found it, but I got forced into the left lane and ended up going off somewhere I didn't want to be.
When we had been in this area on Sunday mornings, there was never anyone wandering about. Perhaps they were also in church somewhere; perhaps they were still sleeping.
But this was at lunch time on a weekday and the steets were full of people. We have a law in Ohio that says one must stop for people in crosswalks, but these folks were crossing the street randomly however and whenever they chose.
One man walked right up to the side of my car, then in front of my car and pounded (hard) on the hood shouting, "Hey there, old lady whitebread." I am white and he was not.
That man scared me. And I could feel a panic attack coming on. I've only had panic attacks maybe 3 or 4 times in my life, but I could feel the anxiety rising. I quickly phoned my hubby on my cell phone and did what I hate others to do. I stayed on the phone while he talked me back to where I needed to be. (He has lived in this city all of his life, and knows how to get around, but doesn't always remember the street names. It was a challenge.)
I relayed this incident to a friend and she called me a racist because I was afraid of that man. But I don't think I was afraid because of the color of his skin. I was afraid because he pounded on my car and used a racial slur of his own - on me. I was afraid because I was lost. And frustrated. Right?
What do you think? Am I a racist?
Have you ever been afraid in a situation like this?
7 people like this
25 responses
@jonesy123 (3948)
• United States
3 Oct 08
No, that is not racist. The guy was but that's besides the point. I would be scared if anybody would pound on the hood of my car like that. That alone is reason to freak out regardless of race or even age. The guy made the situation racially charged when he called you 'old lady whitebread'. Obviously, he wanted to be racially offensive, which adds insult to injury.
It amazes me to no end. If the color scheme would have been reversed and he would have called you a 'nig$er', everybody would have agreed with you that you had been insulted and felt endangered due to the pounding on the car plus the racial slur. But because you are white you are a racist and afraid of the big black man, who really was just oh so harmless. Yeah right! Why can white people be racially offended by black people and it is okay but if the situation is reversed it's criminal? If you want to be treated right you have to do the same to others. That is my opinion.
But get used to it. Blatant reverse racism is on the rise, mostly because African-Americans think they can get away with it. They even discriminate against their own if they are not pure-bred. It's a shame!
4 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Oct 08
jonesy I would be a little careful there, you are making a blanket statement against african americans, like any other blanket statement there is a little truth to it and a lot of untruth. I am a caucasian, but I do not discrimintate against a whole of any race for the actions of one. You are coming off as being a tad racist too.Of course the black man was very wrong as we all would agree but dont condemn any one race because of the actions of a few. remember there are many many different races right here on mylot and you might be offending some really decent people with this remark.
2 people like this
@jonesy123 (3948)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Who else would say old lady whitebread. She obviously wanted to avoid saying black in order not to come off even more racist than she thought she is looking to others. Come on! And if you ignore the current trend of reverse racism than you are sticking your head in the sand. I know there are many African-Americans, and many are my friends (btw you don't even know what the color of my skin is) who are upset with this trend because that's uprooting everything we have worked for for such a long time. It's primarily the younger generation who is getting into this and they as young people are think they can do whatever they want without consequences. But instead of finally putting away with the race stuff there are many who think it's payback time. And yes, it does create a dangerous situation. But go ahead, ignore it, stick your head in the sand. I live in an area she describes, I see it every day, and I hear it. If you are offended, good, go find out the truth and educate those who are laboring hard to increase the racial divide. In my eyes there is only one race, the human race. Yet, one side can't do anything negative in regards to the other without being labeled a racist but reverse it's okay. If you seriously think she would have been labeled a racist if the colors were reversed, again, you live under a rock. No, she would have felt sorry for because the mean white man attacked her. We need to move past this junk. In fact, we should have been past it already!
2 people like this
@thebohemianheart (8827)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Not to mention the fact that she did not even give a color to the man. She just said she is white, he was not.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I will be the first to tell you that I am not a racist person and never really was. I like to accept people as they are and sometimes I do get afraid of strangers whether they are black, white or any other ethnic background if it seems that I could be threatened in any way. It is good that I haven't been physically threatened and there are good and bad people everywhere.
You are not a racist here. Not whatsoever. You would have been taken aback in the same situation no matter what color the man. Sure if someone pounds on your car and uses a racial slur it could be determined as a threat. It would be enough to scare anybody. Be thankful that you are alright and remember I don't think that you should be perceived as racist at all. 
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Oct 08
Thanks bamakelly. For an instant, I considered using my cell phone to call 911. But I figured for one thing they wouldn't come if I wasn't in serious trouble. And I figured if it appeared that's what I was doing, that I might have gotten in more serious trouble.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
4 Oct 08
I hear what you are saying but you can't be too careful. You might have wound up in a lot of danger that day but you just got very lucky. Take care.
@autismmom2 (155)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I don't think you are racist at all. Honestly if a black and white man of the same size each approached me I would be more afraid of the black man. I would also be afraid if a big white guy approached me.
You probably looked obviously out of place, which just made it all worse.
It doesn't make anyone racist to have a thought, or have one situation scare you more than another. You didn't call him anything, so you did good. You can say the same about gender. If I were walking around at night and there were a bunch of women, it would be more intimidating than a bunch of guys, regardless of color.
3 people like this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Oct 08
No, it wouldn't have mattered what race the man was to me. He scared me by pounding on my car. Probably 99% of the men in the world are bigger than me, or it seems so. And force and violence are scary things to me. Besides, I was totally lost and just wanted to get home!
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Oct 08
hi kenzie no you were not a racist at all. you were just lost, and in a strange to you part of the town. Someone pounding on my car door and yelling a racist slur would be frightening to me
or anyone else I am sure. I have walked into a strange part of a city and had someone call a racial slur at me too, and I almost ran out of that part of the city and grabbed the first bus I was
familar with just to get back to a familar area and safety.
You just knew in your heart that where someone would use a racial slur on you when you were in a place strange to you,you could be in danger. I am so glad your husband got you finally straightened out so you could get out of there, and find your way home.
3 people like this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Oct 08
I was lost and I didn't like it one bit. In any other part of town, I would have felt brave enough to wind down my window and ask questions. But the night before (or maybe it was 2 nights before) there had been 2 shootings in that neighborhood. That scared me too!
@Skylinr (118)
• Singapore
3 Oct 08
Someone on the receiving end of a racist remark being called a racing? What's the world come to?
You definitely aren't racist. Anyone who walks up to a car and pounds it hard will scare any sane person in it, regardless of the color of the person's skin.
Don't be too worried over the incident. As with the rest of the MyLotters, I strongly believe that you are not racist
3 people like this
@glords (2614)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Your friend was either teasing you or completely insane. I think anyone would be scared of someone who has being physically aggressive and screaming things. That guy is lucky you didn't run him over. I think you would have a pretty good case of self defense. It's amazing that you kept your calm so well. Bravo to you and don't listen to your friend.
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Oct 08
Thanks. I was glad later when I thought about it that my foot didn't slip off the brake when he startled me.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
4 Oct 08
You go right back and tell that ignorant friend that that man was pounded on your car, he was bigger and more powerful looking like you, he called you a racist name and he looked at you as if he were going to harm you. And then ask her "would it be all right for an African American to harm me when it is not all right for someone who is white like me not to?" That should shut her up. Oh many African Americans shave their heads not because it is easier and they want to save money by not going to the barber, but for intimidation. It is the same as white guys getting a tattoo of a snake or some other thing, of wearing a sleeveless t-shirt to show off their muscles or getting a pit bull or another vicious dog, it is intimidation or to strike fear.
I was afraid of someone who was bigger and stronger than me, and he was the same color as I was. So if I had smiled nicely and got out my car as your friend might have suggested, I would probably not be here. So you were safe staying in your car, and those people had made a habit of intimidation that the police probably did not dare go in that neighborhood unless in body armor.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (182199)
• United States
4 Oct 08
I dont think racism had anything to do with it. You probably would have been jsut as scared if a white guy pounded on your car and shouted something at you. Something like that happened to me in DC one time where somebody thought I cut them off in the crosswalk and pounded on my trunk. It was not pleasant.
2 people like this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Oct 08
I MIGHT have understood if I had done something wrong. But this guy came from behind me - walking in the street - and then went around the front of my car and pounded on it.
1 person likes this
@jayman32 (267)
• Australia
4 Oct 08
many years ago i was called racist simple because i pionted out that blacks are just as racist as white's. it wasn't the colour of the mans skin it was he's racist/aggresive attitude towards you that scared you, he's actions not his skin colour. or maybe just maybe you are racist against people like that, not the colour of the skin but racist against the blackness of their soul. i know i am..
2 people like this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Oct 08
But there are those who would say that by using "blackness" as a negative thing or evil thing, that's being racist, right? But I know what you mean. I've met people who just seem to be evil and ones who always seem to be good. I think most of us are somewhere in between.
2 people like this
@angela38 (122)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I can not say one way or the other if you are racest or not I would have had to be there to see how you reacted one on one face to face when I was around to be sure one way or the other. However I have been in places that frightened me. Maybe I am not the best to judge this but I think it was the fact that you were in a place you are not used to navagating on your own that tends to make me think you called your husband out of a sence of need of security to get you over a panic attack so you could get home safly and not hurt anyone in the middle of driving and trying to get over a panic attach. And trust me needing to feel secure during a panic attack does not always mean your a racest. I have had pleanty of panic attacks over the years.
3 people like this
@thebohemianheart (8827)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I don't think you were being a racist. As you said, you didn't know where you were, you didn't know the people, the guy was a bit rude, and it scared you. I would have been the same way, even if the perpetrator had been white.
There are parts of the area I live in that I won't go into, not on purpose anyway, because it is a really bad part of the area, and the people there ARE white.
The color of one's skin does not scare me so much, it is their actions that cause me to react the way I do.
2 people like this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Oct 08
Exactly, thebohemianheart. What matters are one's actions. And I didn't much care for these actions!
1 person likes this
@leahsfrog (120)
• United States
4 Oct 08
Well, based on the narrative I would say that reaction does not sound racist. The way you told your friend about it may have come off sounding that way though, sometimes we word things in ways that convey something we are not meaning to convey.
2 people like this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Oct 08
Funny thing...I think when I first told my friend I told her that "some jerk" had pounded on my car and shouted at me. When she pushed me for details and heard the "whitebread" word, she decided that my fear was unfounded and that's what makes me racist. Wonder how she would have reacted? You know...until you walk a mile in my moccasins.
1 person likes this
@leahsfrog (120)
• United States
5 Oct 08
I would of freaked and locked my doors instantly, I mean you never know what someone will do these days. I don't care if it was man, woman or even a teenager; purple , orange, white or polka dot assault my vehicle and I'm propably gonna be scared.
1 person likes this
@xandercordy1 (296)
• United States
4 Oct 08
Since when is it racist when a woman is intimidated by any man, whether he's black, white, orange or an alien from Mars? The man pounded on your hood and shouted at you for no reason. That's not the act of a sane person. So you were not reacting to the color of his skin or whatever, you were reacting to his actions. You need to tell your friend that she needs to look up the word racist and find out what the word means before she accuses you of being one.
2 people like this
@princess07031980 (5412)
• United States
7 Aug 09
I think your friend was out of line to call you racist. I think you would have been considered racist if you would have said something back to him in a derogatory manner, but you didn't. He scared you, as he would have scared me too, and I know all too well what anxiety is and how panic attacks can affect you. I am so sorry you had to go through that on top of being lost. Now, back to the racist statemnt, let's say the man was white, and may not have thrown a racist statement at you, but maybe a threatening one just the same. Would you have been just as scared? I am sure you would have. It didn't help the matters (maybe) that you felt strange perhaps for being a white woman in that neighborhood, but racist? No, not at all.
1 person likes this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
19 Mar 11
Thanks, princess. I'm not sure how I missed your comment 2 years ago. Yes, I would have been just as scared no matter what the man's color was.
@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
3 Oct 08
Search your heart. If you are normally not racist you were not racist when that man pounded on the hood of your car. You were lost, uneasy, not sure how to get out of this dilemma. If a white guy had done the same thing you would have been scared as well. It was the situation you were in that brought on the panic attack.
1 person likes this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Oct 08
That's true. At the medical appointment, I had just discovered that I had lost 1 1/2 inches in height and now stand only 5 ft. 2 1/2 inches. Most men are taller than that. I know that if a man of any race had pounded on my car that way and shouted ANYTHING at me, I would have been frightened.
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
3 Oct 08
I would be afraid myself if I was in that situation. Whether the person is white or black, I would be frightened for sure. Besides the guy started the racist slur not you. The guy could have done something bad like try to open the door of your car or break the glass. Good thing you're safe!
2 people like this
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
3 Oct 08
I dont think you are a racist. You simply reacted what a normal person would feel when someone shouting on you. You were all by yourself and you are frightened. It is normal for people to be afraid and it has nothing to do with the color of the skin. It has something to do with the way he acted in front of you. If i were in the same situation as yours i will be frightened too. And i might end up calling my husband to pick me up right away.
2 people like this
@Metalchick (1391)
•
3 Oct 08
Not even a little bit. Just because your scared of someone doesn't make you racist. Perhaps you could go as far to say he was racist to you with what he implied by calling you whitebread. But to be scared that is a completely different matter. Your colour has nothing to do with the scariness of a person thats solely down to the person themselves.
2 people like this
