6.30pm on a light Friday evening? C'mon!!
By Humbug25
@Humbug25 (12540)
October 4, 2008 5:10am CST
We recently acquired a trampoline and my sons have been rushing home from school, grabbing a quick snack and going out and playing on it come rain or shine. Around 6.30pm my neighbour knocked on my door yesterday asking me to tell my boys to keep the noise down because her kids were trying to sleep and wanted to know why it was ok for my kids to still be out playing. In my opinion I wouldn't have said they were making excessive noise, mainly laughter and maybe the odd scream but that was it! It was still light outside and I didn't consider 6.30pm on a Friday evening when the kids haven't got school the next day to be unexceptable! Anyway I brought the kids in to save any future problems occuring with my neighbour. I later saw some people going into her house and thought that maybe she wanted to get her kids into bed and out of the way so she could have some undisturbed time with her visitors. My kids are 3, 5 and 7 and go to bed around 8pm during the week and 8.30pm at weekends, her kids are 1, 4, 6 and 8 and I have no clue as to what time they usually go to bed.
I am a bit discruntled by this and thought that she was being rather unreasonable, I would never have dreamed of knocking on her door and making the same request. What would you have done if you were me? Do you think that she had every right to ask me to tell my kids to quieten down? Is 6.30pm late or early for kids to be outside in the garden playng on a light Friday evening?
5 people like this
21 responses
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
4 Oct 08
Neighbours eh! You can choose your friends, but, hell you can't choose your neighbours! At reading this I started to get hot under the paws, the cheek of the woman, even if it had been a week night, like Tuesday or Wednesday, 6.30pm????? I'd understand if it had been 9.30 or 10.30 but 6.30pm? How is your relationship with your neighbour has this happened before, or have you had a tense relationship? Or are you only on speaking terms? Sounds like she has a barefeet cheek to be honest with you! I think a hint of jealousy may have come into it as well, call me sceptical but her kids were probably moaning at her to buy them a trampoline too! It depends on how you want to deal with the situation, let it go this time but if there's a problem confront her next time about it or be like me stubborn and cut my nose to spite my face! But when you have children it's very difficult isn't it because you have to set an example to them, but what a fine example NOT your neighbour is setting to her kids! Wolfie rant is over, cheeky cow, there that's better!
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
4 Oct 08
Hi there wolfie34
I didn't actually realise that it was only 6.30pm until I closed the door and checked the time. I have never had a problem with her and usually hold a civil conversation with her down at the pre-school where our kids go. I think I shall just ingnore her from now on, I don't like confrontation but by ignoring her she will know that I am a tad bit peeved with her to say the least. They have a lovely sized garden and you might be well right when you said she might be jealous that she doesn't have a trampoline. I always think about what I should have said after the event and can't always think of the appropriate thing to say at the time. I should have just said 'you're having a laugh aren't you' and see what she said then!!
Cheers wolfie34
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
5 Oct 08
I think that her choice of bedtime was a bit obsurd, and I would definitely have wondered what her visitors were there for if she must have them in bed so early. I suppose i'd be glad they were in bed so early, especially if she planned to drink or do other activities with her friends that could be considered - rather un appropriate for children to view. As long as they are quiet at play, or at least use a moderately inside voice while during later hours in the evening, I see no problem with allowing them to play outside. Maybe she should have just as easily shut the door and played soft music for her children to help them fall asleep!
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
5 Oct 08
Hi there SomeCowgirl
I really have no idea what her plans were for the evening and wouldn't want to jump to any conclusions or assume anything. Her car was gone in the morning when I got up the next day so maybe she was taking the kids somewhere early and needed to get everything ready. Her husband seems to work long hours and she would no doubt had to prepare everything by herself. I am a single parent with 3 boys and I know how difficult it can be getting kids ready for an outing but I still wouldn't have put them to bed that early, even if we were making an early start in the morning.
Thanks for responding 
@dncmanning (770)
• United States
5 Oct 08
It's a big leap to assume she was doing something wrong- Don't you think? I think she was rude but really that's all we know she was and that's far from illegal.
2 people like this
@max1950 (2306)
• United States
5 Oct 08
not at all at least your kids are getting physical and playing instead of sitting in front of a t.v. set or mesmerized by stareing into one of those hand held games.i think kids should get all the play time they can when young,you know how fast they grow up. and i can honestly say that it would only happen once and they would be advised to never come back,never. but then again they could be jealous your kids have a trampoline
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
5 Oct 08
Hey there max1950
I love it that my kids can get outside, play and burn off some energy before the dark evenings draw in when they will be looking for something else to do. If my kids have trouble sleeping at night due to outside noise I just tell them to do to sleep and not worry about what everybody else is doing and they soon go to sleep.
Thanks for your response
@thuhuong (823)
• United States
5 Oct 08
Well, here's a suggestion if there is a next time.
You are more then able to turn whatever it is that is requested of you around. Perhaps she got off on the wrong foot with you this time but next time just let her know you won't be stepped on! We all make mistakes but don't let it make you a stepping mat, easy to shut down.
Being is nice is one thing and being told to do right is another.
2 people like this
@amanda333 (739)
• France
4 Oct 08
God!!!!what a cheek, i'd never off brought them in, children should be out enjoying themselfs AT 6.30pm. I think she was being very selfish, you should stand your ground without being nasty or ask if her kids would want to play too, instead of being in bed so early (poor kids)
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@amanda333 (739)
• France
4 Oct 08
i miss England like a boil on me bum haha, have a good evening hun
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
4 Oct 08
Hey there amanda333
Don't you just miss England? 
Yeah, when I brought them in and realised the time I then tought, what am I doing? She didn't ask me to bring them in just to ask them to be quiet, yeah right, kids have fun quietly, I don't think so!!
thanks for your response!!
Yeah, when I brought them in and realised the time I then tought, what am I doing? She didn't ask me to bring them in just to ask them to be quiet, yeah right, kids have fun quietly, I don't think so!!
thanks for your response!! 1 person likes this
@momjessie82 (344)
• United States
5 Oct 08
This is just crazy. My children are 2, 5, 6, 7, 13, and 15. The smaller kids go to bed between 8 and 9 during the week. The older kids go between 9 and 10. On the weekend, the kids get to stay up later. Usually on the weekend, the kids play outside until it is dark or until it gets cold. Lately, it has been getting dark and cold between 7:30 and 8:30. I would never put my kids to bed at 6:30 for any reason. That is way too early for kids to go to bed. If I put mine to bed that early, they would be up around 3 in the morning. I think she was totally out of line in coming over to ask you to keep the kids quiet on a Friday night at 6:30. I understand that she is your neighbor and that you have to try to get along with her, but that is ridiculous. There is no reason for kids not to be outside playing and enjoying themselves at 6:30 on a Friday night.
If I have company coming over, my children are always involved. I would never put my children to bed that early just to hide them away from people. It sounds to me like she is ashamed of her own children and that is a very sad thing.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
5 Oct 08
Hi there momjessie82
I really don't know what her problem is but I don't want to be part of that problem. She does seem like a kind and caring person and works as a volunteer for the abulance service. I too don't hide my kids from visitors, I am proud of my kids and love people to see them and talk to them to see how they are getting on and growing.
Thanks for your response
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
4 Oct 08
Hi there Drumman
I thought of a lot of things I could of and should have said to her after I had brought the kids in. My kids will sleep through most noises even the fire alarm once which was going off outside their bedroom door!! I think the kids didn't want to go to bed at 6.30pm they weren't ready to!!
Thanks for your response
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
4 Oct 08
6.30pm late? On weekend too, that is ridiculous! My 8 year old boy was outside at 7.30 last night and it was more or less dark here then! I think it was an unreasonable request for that time of day, fair enough if it had been really late at night but not at 6.30. I think that kids playing out in their own gardens at that time is not a problem at all.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
4 Oct 08
Hi there gemini_rose
It really is ridiculous isn't it? At the time I didn't realise immediately that it was only 6.30pm and the boys, bless them, didn't question me or shout at me for telling them to come in. I think I will have to confront the neighbour at some point about this. Yesterday I think I was shocked and today I am angry, she had better not knock on my door tomorrow evening!!!!
Thanks for the response
Thanks for the response 1 person likes this
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
4 Oct 08
first of all who puts their kids to bed at 6:30 even on a school night?? that is kind of weird like she is trying to get rid of them. i would have let my kids continue playing and i would have told her that i felt she was being unreasonable and that there are noise ordinances but not for 6:30 in the evening for kids playing in their own back yard. next time her kids are outside i would complain to her just to drive your point home. if her kids went to bed at 2:30 in the afternoon would your kids have to be quiet then too?? people have to be able to live and enjoy their homes.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
4 Oct 08
Hi there mikeysmom
It does make me wonder, you know, that if she is putting her kids to bed so early then at what unearthly time are they getting up? Also if it was 6.30pm when she decided they couldn't sleep because of the noise what time did she really put them to bed? Mad!!
Thanks for your response!
1 person likes this
@animeniak (425)
• United States
4 Oct 08
6:30 pm is actually pretty darn dark during the winter time, but still bright in the summer time. If her kids were being loud too, giving a little distraction towards other neighbors, then she really would not have the right to tell you to have your kids' mouths shut and sit tight. You would've had the right to tell her back to have her kids' mouths shut and sit tight. I usually sleep during the midnight either watching anime or playing online games myself, and I never got a complaint from other neighbors. Because, they also sometimes turn the music aloud during the night time (not always, but sometimes the neighbor does get noisy, which I really don't mind, and samething goes for the other neighbors. Who gives a rat's @$$ about it? As long as there is no "war" between the neighbors going on, I think it's really alright to have ton of fun during whatever time!!
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
4 Oct 08
Hi there animeniak
I didn't hear her kids making any noise. It was still light outside, our clocks go back on the 26th October so it will be dark at that time then so we are making best of the light we have now. Soon the kids won't have much chance at all to play on the trampoline because it will be too wet. My other neighbour's son plays the drums in the room next to my children's but they never seem bothered about it.
Thanks for your response
1 person likes this
@dncmanning (770)
• United States
5 Oct 08
After reading your post I had to stop and think if I have ever had such a run in with a neighbor and while I haven't I can't think of a time when 6:30 on a Friday would offend anyone.
What you may want to try is find a chance to ssy "Sally", on Fridays I tend to let the children play outside and enjoy the start of their weekend, I would be glad to have your children come over sometime and play with my children outside if you have plans, but either they will be playing until around eight or so on the weekends- Sorry if that is inconvinent for you. And give her a chance to respond- While it was completely rude for her to request such a thing, she may actually a good reason for being so ******. Who knows?
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
5 Oct 08
Hi there dncmanning
Thanks for the idea but you know I actually don't think I would want to have her kids over as they haven't been nice to my eldest son in the past, calling him names over the fence and teasing him. I think I am better off to let sleeping dogs lie!
Cheers
@chaska (170)
• United States
4 Oct 08
I have small children age 8,7,3. On weekdays their bedtime is 8:30pm so they typically fall asleep close to 9-9:45pm. You know it takes awhile for them to fall totally asleep. I myself think that on the weekends the kids can stay up later. they typically will fall asleep on their own before 10pm all except my 3 year old. She tries to stay up with me and sleep in later the next morning. My kids have a trampoline and love it. They make all kinds of noise and I have never had anyone to complain.
I feel 6:30 is very early to get kids in the beds on a weekend night, but each parent does their thing differently. I feel that your neighbor was wrong to knock on your door and complain. I would have probably told the neighbor that if her kids wake up they can come over and play with my kids LOL!
2 people like this
@gparnell23 (30)
• United States
5 Oct 08
i dont think that 630 is late for a friday night. specially if it it is nice out and it is in your own yard. i wouldnt think that you kids could be loud enough to hear in her house to be that disturbing
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
5 Oct 08
Hello gparnell23 and welcome to mylot
I think she still has her windows open, like if I have my windows open I can hear a lot too but if it was my kids that couldn't sleep then I would have shut the windows and I actually wouldn't have knocked on her door unless it was like 9 or so at night during the week but if my kids were asleep I wouldn't bother at all.
Thanks for your response
@ellie333 (21016)
•
4 Oct 08
Hi Humbug, I think you were spot on for her reason why, she wanted them all asleep so she could chill with her visitors that evening and not have to worry about the kids. 6.30pm is way too early to be banging on a neighbours door to keep the noise down. I settle my son for a snuggle and to read a book about 7pm and he is usually asleep by 7.30pm during the week but on a weekend night I end to let him stay up later especially on a Saturday, I get a bit of a lie in on a Sunday that way too. I would say to her that I think she was being unreasonable, afterall legally we are entitled to make noise from 7am to 11pm of we want to eh. Kids if tired will sleep, my middle one used to sleep better the louder the background noise, probably has something to do with the dact that I was at live concerts when pregnant with her LOL. 6.30pm is definately not to late for the kids to playing. Huggles. Ellie :D
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@Humbug25 (12540)
•
4 Oct 08
Hi there ellie333
The thing is that if I had visitors coming around at say 8pm then I would let my kids stay up to greet them, why would I want to stash my kids away. If it was during the week then I would ask my visitors to come around a little bit later because the kids would be going to school or ask them to come around much earlier. Sometimes when my mum comes to visit they don't go to bed until 10.30 or so because they like to see her and spend time with her. I think her kids go to bed at 6.30pm every night. Mind you their car wasn't there when we got up this morning at 8.30am.
Cheers ellie333
1 person likes this
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
6 Oct 08
i think it is none of her business what your kids do in ur backyard. 6:30pm is early anyway. i never slept at 6:30pm when i was a kid. she should mind her own business.
i would have let the kids play but tell them to be more quiet because our problem- making neighbors are complaining again.
1 person likes this
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
6 Oct 08
That seems awfully early for kids to go to bed in my opinion, even on school nights. We don't even eat supper until 6:30 or 7 at our house! But to each his own I guess. I do think it was excessive that she asked you to keep the kids quiet while they were having fun. If they were screaming and causing loud problems, then sure, but just laughing and having fun as kids are supposed to do, then hey, live with it! Having kids of her own you would think she would know this and have a bit more tolerance. I don't blame you a bit for being put out by her!
1 person likes this
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
6 Oct 08
First, I want to commend you for bringing the kids inside in order to save any possile hassles with your neighbor. I don't know if I could have been that magnamimus about it.
Secondly, I felt that she was being a bit unreasonable too, considering the time, whether it was the weekend or not. 6:30 is a bit early.
You are a very patient and understanding person.
Purrs,
Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
1 person likes this
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I don't blame you. I'm the same way. There are too many people in this world who live for confrontation!
Purrs,
Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
4 Oct 08
Hi there AbbeyB
The thing is aswell is that this year in England we didn't get much of a summer weather wise so I was just happy the kids were able to get outside and play while it was still light and dry before the rainy season really sets in. My eldest son is, lets say, high spirited so I am happy when he has the opportunity to burn off his excess energy!
Thanks for your response!
1 person likes this
@arthi_88 (1516)
• India
4 Oct 08
I guess 6.30p.m is quite o.k and there is nothing t be disturbed if she is healthy and not old and has kids of her own..That was quite selfish of her to demand your kids indoor like that..kids play ouside in our block till the sun sets or its too dark or cold..And on friday all the kids like to play and we don't disturb them..
I guess you should avoid the lady as much as possible and if she causes anymore trouble ask her to explain her reason for her demand in a polite way..That subtle hint should be enough for her if she doesn't want to createany problem!!
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
4 Oct 08
Hi there arthi_88
Well she said it was because her kids couldn't get to sleep and wanted to know why the boys next door were still out playing. She didn't actually ask me to get them in I just thought it was easier to do that. I am going to find it hard to look her in the face now because I am cross with her and do bump into her at school sometimes!
thank you for your response
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