May-December Affair!
By flajie
@flajie (2)
Philippines
October 5, 2008 8:19pm CST
This topic may not be new to you, but does age really matters?
11 years ago, when I was just 19 yrs. old, I had a boyfriend who is 26 years older than me. His first marriage ended in the early 80's then he had a live-in partner for 15 years. They broke up, then we met through a common friend. I was an innocent, virgin, school-home 2nd yr. college student then. He courted me and it took three months before we became lovers.
Our age gap didn't really matter to me, but for some people or for most people, it's a big deal. I've heard a lot of criticisms, gossips or "tsismis" as we call it here in the Philippines during the course of our relationship but I was able to ignore it and enjoyed my relationship with my lover. Even my own family was against him, but I didn't listen to them. At that time, all I care about was him.
Was that right, to ignore the advices of your family and continue to be with the man you love?
I think I was right. Because presently, 11 years after, my lover is now my husband. We are happily married for 8 years now with 4 healthy kids.
If you love someone, regardless of his/her age, you have to follow your heart if you believe that he/she loves you and will give you a healthy and happy life for the rest of your lives together.
3 people like this
13 responses
@sugarplum9084 (1771)
• United States
6 Oct 08
Wow, that is a great success story for age differences. I am glad it worked out well for the two of you! I really don't mind age too much, of course I would like to spend the rest of my life with someone that is around my own age, but if there is someone worth it, I would step outside of my age group and be with them, good love is hard to find, so you have to take it while it offers itself to you or else you could miss out on something very great. The only thing sad about big age differences is that you missed a lot of their growing up, and also that the older person will probably die long before you, but I suppose it is something you just have to accept and move forward with. I am glad that my boyfriend is only a year older than I, though if he was a lot older, I would still love him the same.
1 person likes this
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
6 Oct 08
To me 7 years isn't that big a deal or may-december thing, but I understand what you mean. Especially when you are a teenager and start dating someone in mid to upper 20s, family and friends tend to criticize, sadly. I have never really paid attention to age or age differences. As yours has, many of these relationships work wonderfully. As long as it works for the people involved, I think others should stay out of it! Congratulations and good luck to you!
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
6 Oct 08
as long as you're happy together, who cares about age differences. what matters is that you take care of each other and communicate with each other and you will have a successful marriage. sounds like you found a very good man who takes care of you and you take care of him. that is rare in this day and time. best of luck
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
6 Oct 08
This isn't what I'd call a May-December affair. I mean we are only talking about a 7 year difference in age here. That isn't all that unusual really. I know my Dad is 7 years older than my Mom. To me a May-December affair would be a 19 year old with a 40 or 50 year old. THAT would seem more like it. I see nothing wrong in this type of relationship when its not that huge a gap in ages. I'm glad its worked out for you.
@rsa101 (38148)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
Well I guess it really depends on each individual person how they can really love one another. Society does not easily accept that kind of a relationship because it is not a usual case that a much older man would fall in love with a much younger lady. But then if you can prove to them that you can co exist and love each other later in your relationship they would in time be accepted because you have proven they were wrong. Most May-December relationships are likely to fail in the long run since they belong to different age groups and their likes and interest differ most of the time. There are a few cases like yours that they gelled perfectly like yours.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
6 Oct 08
no, i dont think it matters that much because who cares what others think. i mean seriosly, what business is it of theirs? i was once involved with a younger man (14 years younger than myself) and we were very happy. it didnt matter to us what others thought.
@jammyt (2818)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
Well, good for you that things work out. I'm from the Philippines too. You know in our culture, people will look down upon learning of this affair. Also, maybe your parents or family didn't like it because first, they are worried that you would just get hurt or taken advantage of by this man.
For me age gap doesn't really matter DEPENDING on the gap. If it's more than 10 years, I'd be quite uncomfortable. Specially if the girl is just in her teens when the relationship started. It's like being robbed of what she can enjoy with her age.
Again, congratulations for being able to work it out and fight for your relationship. I'm sure your family now accepts him as their own right? 
@goymon (40)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
I personally believe that age must not hinder two people from loving each other. It is in this context that we can actually say that love really is of no boundaries. This should not be a problem, if and only if this is the main cause, but if there are may underlying factors accompanying it, we as a human being must stop and think for a while.
Yeah, it is not a really new story, or not event the worst one. It only depicts that us humans have the capability to love, and being loves. It is a gift from God that we might as well practice and share.
@thedogshrink (1266)
• United States
6 Oct 08
Well now that you are happily married with 4 kids, does you family change their minds and accept your husband? Sometimes, family is mistaken and when they see they are mistaken, they come around.
But other times, maybe more often, family is correct. That is often the case when a man is mistreating the girl. The family may see it but she doesn't. Obviously that's not the case with you. But I bring it up to point out that it all depends on the individuals involved. IN your case, you were right on track and you
made your choice wisely. IN other cases, the girl is so far wrong it is very sad that no one can get thru to her. So it has to be case by case.
I'm married to a man who is 14 years younger than I am. My younger sister is married to someone who is very old. I believe that in general, closer to the same age is best. But sometimes a difference in ages is perfectly fine.
I'm glad in your case, it all worked out well.
@mercuryman3a (2477)
• India
6 Oct 08
I am delighted to hear that you did find a right guy for yourself regardless of age. Love knows no age. It really does not make any difference provided there is love. If the union is out of come compulsion or is just a compromise then the problems arise. If there is love on both sides, then love over rides age. I know of a few couples who are very happy with the age difference between husband and wife upto 30 years or more.
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
6 Oct 08
To tell you, your story is not really worst. Don't think of other people, think of yourself. If you really felt that he loves you and you love him, who care about what they think. They too have their own secrets and their own problem and they just want to have tsismis in order for them to forget all their negative sides too and look at it to other people.
To tell you, I am married now at the age of 22 and I married a guy of 52. Well, he is american but no big deal to me because he looks younger than his age. I know other people talked about it, especially in our province, but who cares? I am happy and we are in love. They are just jealous because they are not happy as we are, that's why they made it worst.
happy mylotting!
