my son told me he hated me............................

I am so sorry to hear that your son said such a thing to you. I know it had to break your heart. However, in my opinion, you are still being way nicer than you probably need to be. He is a grown man now and if he is not willing to get his act together, he should move out. You are no longer legally responsible for him. Sounds like he needs to learn a lesson in tough love and being grateful. Just my thoughts on the subject.

The good thing is just sit & talk to your son, he will understand as long he will listen to you, it is not easy to have some one telling that i hate you, but just try maybe he have anything to say to you my friend.

oh im sorry to hear that. I can't judge your son why he treated you like that. Maybe because he has a problem that you may not know. All you have to do is ask him why he hated you that way. Im sure he has the reason. Teenage stage is the most critical stage. You really need to support him and guide for a better way. Show him that you really care for him. You must know also who are his friends, befriend him and make him that you really love him. Sometimes kids like him are looking for a father figure. That's why make him feel that your love will be good enough so that he will never seek love from others.

Even though he is 18, apparently he is not very mature. I hope you don't take offense to that. He seems to have little impulse control and therefore, has made bad choices without considering the consequences. He also told you "I hate you" with little thought as to how it would make you feel. Although, it may difficult to deal with a teenager who is being rebellious and not taking anything seriously, I am sure that in his heart he did not mean the things he said to you. He said them out of anger, not out of hate. Not that it makes things any easier for you, but it may be something to consider. Hopefully, he will soon determine how he is screwing up his life and things will change. I know it couldn't be easy. And I can certainly empathize with the pain you must be feeling. Just remember all we can do is give them the tools and what they do with them is up to them. I am sure he will grow into a wonderful, caring man and one day you both will be able to put this behind you.

Oh Linda, This must make you feel awful and no wonder you have been crying, i is very difficult being a single parent having all their hurt and anger that is deep inside hurled at us instead of the people they really feel it at. Hate is so very close to love and he doesn't mean it even if it directed so vehmenently at you. My younger daughter has done her fair share of slamming doors, storming out and saying I hate you but that was all to do with issues with her own father, the fact that your son gets high too doesn't help as he gets low from it too and the fact that you have stopped providing money to him he can't obtain so again is angry at you, even though deep down he knows you are doing this to be kind. I gave my younger daughter a months notice to go get a job when she dropped out of college and she did and made a complete turnaround and is in fulltime work with great self-esteem now and also is now offering to pay the pet insurance for our new puppy. There is hope Linda, I used to grab her and hug her when she was in an I hate you rage and tell her that I loved her no matter what she thought of me and that hug of love even though initally she tried to srug off calmed her. Good luck my thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless. Ellie :D

hi.. im sorry.. for that.. me... im a girl... but i did also... wat you son did... but not to get on high... maybe... this is not the time.. for him... sooner... he would know.. how the family is important... realize everything that IT IS ALL MISTAKE all you can do is to show.. how really important he is how much you love him.. as your son.. i really understand. you.. but i dont know. wat is the solution.. coz.. the only person who can help./ is your son..

I think he said so because he feels that your not giving him money and helping him out ! , i do yell at my parents when they dont give me what i want , i know they will feel hard but i cant hide my anger to the ones whom i love a lot and that is why i shout at them back, may be your sone might have felt the same as i do and done it to you i guess.Speak to your son and encourage him , i know when i was 18 just 2 years back how i was! though i wont show it directly sometimes , it happens with a teenager , please dont be broken , at this age we people need your love more , you people have to make us know our responsibilities , dont cry cause your tears are very valuable and it should not affect your child !!!.. God bless

I am so sorry that you cried yesterday. It seems to me that our kids forget who has raised them and provided for them while they were younger once they turn into teens. I have an 17 year old daughter and I find that we have been struggling a lot more than usual with her wanting to follow our rules. She told me the other day that she might disappear when she gets 18. I said I can help you out. I won't be threatened by her and if she feels the need to leave, that is fine but I won't allow her to come back and I won't hand out money. my main concern with her is that she needs to finish high school! Please know that I am sure that he doesn't hate you and that some day he may get his life on track.

hi Iam so sorry as that is an awful thing to say to ones mom. what is causing all this Linda? Is it because his dad left you and he blames you? could be a lotof this is teenage angst but still hes almost grown. He needs to straighten up and fly right, not disrespect you and get high and just loaf.If he isnt going to school or college tell him to get his butt off the sofa, quit getting high and go to work. Okay so you may have ggoofed too that does not give him the right to abuse you like that. I would sit him down and have a stern heart to heart. tellhim you love him but he still has to grow up, and ask him why hes so angry at everyone? Maybe he needs some mental health help too. ask your family doctor.

Maybe this is the generation gap!Personally i surpport your view,however we should understand each other in the processing view!

Hi linda. I know how badly you must feel, but I also know that your son didn't really mean what he said. He may think that he hates you, but he really doesn't. I remember saying that to my mother many times as a teenager and all through my life, but I didn't really mean it. I did mean it about my father. I did really hate him. But, not my mom. Your son is mixed up and going through things that teenagers unfortunately go through and there is only so much that you can do. You are being a better mother than many. You know that many mothers would have shown him the door! So don't think for a minute that it will always be this way. Just pray that he doesn't get into some real trouble and finds his way back to doing the right thing. I hope things will get better for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and I am here for you if you need to talk.

m so sorry , as a son i have never been good to my own dad, i am a son , i wish hell, know why? coz my dad's no more and now i realize i did realize when it was too late! i didnt do anything bad just had some bitter talks always with my dad! which i wasnt suppst to have done. hope your son understands this before he finds out to be himself ... late to make things better after then. Just be strong......dad.... i know i shouldnt be calling u that but as a son myself i understand what you may be suffering from

I understand what your going through. As an 18 year old myself, i hate it when my parents get in the way of things. But I think this whole situation is only a phase. After awhile i kinda miss my parents. As you grow older then you realize how important your parents actually are. I am sure no matter how passionately he told you, he does not mean it at all. Once he gets out in the really world, then he will know how much of an importance you are to him.

Not knowing anything about you or your son, I really can't give a lot of advice. We all make mistakes in life, and should strive to do better. If you and your son were willing to do this, you both could go for family counseling. It sounds to me like he may have a lot of anger built up inside, and the cause(s) of that anger need to be dealt with, in order for emotional healing to begin. I hope that helps somewhat.