Will you divorce when your partner in the jail?

I guess that it would all depend on what he went in for and how long he was going to be in there for. When I was 18 the boyfriend I was with went to prison for 18 months, I was pregnant at the time and had to go through the birth and everything alone. I left him while he was in prison, I left him because he was not going to change, he was violent and he refused to have anything to do with his son.

I do not think that in this case your aunt is wrong at-all. She had take a right decision. She must have felt humiliated just because her husband was in the jail and also under extreme circumstances she must have lost hope of her husband coming back and starting a new life. Now, I do not understand why she regrets for what she had choosen in past. If she is capable enough to bring up her son in a nice way it should be enough for her to live a satisfied life. I do not think that she was wrong in past, perhaps she is wrong right now if she regrets her past action.

You have not provided much details surrounding your aunt's decision. Was he in prison for a long sentence? I believe that a marriage is eternal. Although I can understand her if she grew cold on her husband especially if he did something really stupid.

it only means their relationship is not as strong is before. their bond is weakening as time pass. she has her own reason for doing that so we cant really say if what she did was wrong or right.

I think what she did was wrong. If she had really loved her husband, she could have been there for him. On the day of our wedding we promise each other that we will be there for each other in good times and bad times. I think she should have waited for him, especially when she had a son. I feel sorry for their son as he is the only person is suffering from this whole thing. No wonder his father hates his mom. Anyone will feel the same. I feel sorry for him too.

no way i will never divorce.. as she is also a human being...

My dad went to prison a long time ago, when my mom was pregnant with her first child. He didn't stay there long and my mom stayed by his side from the get go. They have been married 38 years, have four kids, six grandchildren and one great grand daughter. I think it depends on the person, the situation and what not. I can't sit here and say that your aunt was wrong for leaving her husband at that time. If he cheated on her, then he has no right to be mad at her, because he was wrong. The father needs to get over it, the past is in the past and move on.

You can't really blame her but I'm sure she didn't foresee the troubles ahead. Nobody can predict those things and when you're a mother and there's no support around that's a tough decision. I'm sure she did what was best for her at the time instead of causing so much pain on her part. I mean the husband could have done worse and that's what she went with, who knew he went the other way. Like they say, vengence is a b**ch. The child will be fine, he'll be angrier than most and questioning his identity but that's normal. At least he'll have a heightened if not more realistic way of looking at things as time moves on. All of the attention is not going to do him good and he'll probably run away here and there into somethig to find a little peace. It'll probably be a thorn in the road but geez who's perfect and doesn't have a secret that drives you to do something better in life?

Well to answer the question in the title, no I would not divorce my husband because he's in jail. Now for your aunt, I think she did what she felt was best at the time but no one really knows how a person will be once they get out of a place like that, so therefore, she had no idea he would be clean from his acts and be a good man.

I can't answer this question as I do not know what he was in jail for, or how long his sentence was, but I will say it depends on what it was for. If, for example we had a child together and someone was trying to hurt them, and he got into a fight with the assailant and beat the crap out of them, I would stand by them as they were defending the child. However, if he attempted to rob a bank or something like that, he'd be history. It all depends on the situation.

I will not divorce my husband even if he went to jail. It would be so selfish of me. It is during that trying moment that I should show my support to him. Why would I forsake him by divorcing him. My husband needs my suppport all the way through that ordeal in his life. I should be first person to understand him instead of divorcing him. Well, I can't blame your aunt for doing otherwise for she knew better than anyone when it comes to her personal life. She must be not that in love with the husband. Now that she regretted her decision... I believe have learned a good lesson.

I do not feel your aunt is wrong.She may take such hard decision due to strong criminal back round revealed. However, allow her son to keep good relation ship with father without knowing and understanding the past facts is not a wise one. for her child may be brain washed by him and he later blame his mother and hurt her feelings.

It depends on what crime he was jailed for. If he was really at fault and was a real crimnal, then I do not blame her for divorcing him, but if it was something which he had not done and was falsely implicated, then she should have stood by him.

I never divorce,infact i help them out in court matters

I guess it would depend on why my partner was in jail. If it was for murder or rape or something of a violent nature, yes I'd divorce in a heart beat. If it was for something petty or for a crime i knew deep down they didn't commit i would stand by their side the entire way through.

i think your aunt should have stayed with your uncle even if he was in prison.. i just can feel how much your aunt had hurt him when she left him and divorced him while he was going all through those bad things in his life. if your aunt only divorced him because he was in prison then i believe it was really not a good move, and it also proves to show that she doesnt love him that much. your uncle when he was in prison needs someone who loves him and makes him feel that everything will be ok, but your aunt instead of doing that run away.. maybe that's the reason why your uncle cant find the heart to forgive her for leaving him at that time in his life..

dandan07, First, whatever is done I am sure your aunt had the family's well being in mind at heart. You are from China and the Chinese society is a rather conservative and close minded one. If the son's family background had been made known in public, he might not have grown properly and normally too. Unbeknown to all of you, the repercussion would and might have been manifold for the family to bear. No offense to the Chinese (worldwide), for I am a Chinese as well and I understand these things. I know that it is not right for the women to leave their men in times like these, but may I remind you that if you have been a little objective and look beyond that horizon I am sure you will see a different light. A dissociation here could be a better good for all parties. In a community, where the women are considered a minority and with that fateful event at hand, how is she going to go about fending herself. Making ends meet on her own would be a mammoth task and with a criminal husband?? Don't ever think of making out of the front door and find a job. Secondly, what is done cannot be undone. The valid reasons of doing can be today's undoing. It is just another vicious life cycle that one must accept and learn to live and deal with. In the first place, your aunt is not to be blamed solely and even considered wrong at all. Like the saying goes there will not be a fire without a spark, who in the world asked your uncle to commit a crime in the first place? Doesn't he know the consequences that will befall upon him and the family? Call it anything you want from his end for reasons that his crime will bring about a better living conditions for the family BUT there's another old adage that goes: Crime Does Not Pay. Has your uncle forgotten that? Third, what goes round; comes around. The fact that your uncle is the father to your cousin. There will be a day that all of them would be united not as a family unit but at least the both of them will accept each other. With a further bonus, that the husband would wake up and realize his past misdoing for what has become of this episode for the family. If he really had any remorse, he should at least remove the animosity of his towards your aunt and understand for a woman to bring up his son alone is not an easy feat. I mean she could have left him and enjoyed her youth whilst she can. Say that is untrue and I would like to remind you to look around you. She has carried that baggage (your cousin) all this while without asking for anything from him till today - does your aunt still need to shoulder that blame? I just beg to differ and say: NO!

I think I will not divorce if we have had one or more kids. I don't mind if I live alone because I love quiet life, during the lonely years I can do something I want without bothering. But I will be worried about her because she is not a tough woman, I hope she can take care of herself without my care.

it will all depend on what criminal act my husband has done. i will not forgive him if he has done serious crime like killing or raping someone especially an innocent little kids.