Insults! Can you share the best you've heard AND manage to keep it clean?

Aw, James - you took my two faves!! (dog face and born stupid) But, here's another one I've used in the recent past: You think you're all that, but I've scraped better off the bottom of my shoe!

LMAO! What a great discussion! My Fav's are Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception

Here in Arkanasaw a common insult hurled at someone doing something particularily stupid and/or ignorant is to call them an Obama voter.

Hello! Wow, those are some real insults! That must have been pretty hard to hear. I wouldn't like to listen to it. You know, when I was on the fifth grade insults were common. But I can't really remember them, and they took a lot of bad words, which would get the discussion deleted. Now, the hardest thing to hear was on the sixth or seventh grade. I liked this girl so much, but she didn't pay attention to me. One day she came to me and said: "You are so ugly". lol That sucked, but I could act normally. I didn't seem offended nor anything, but man, that was pretty hard to listen to. Respectfully, Munhozmib.

After dealing with a particularly dense and nasty individual at a local government office who implied more than once that I lacked the intelligence to grasp the reason that the canceled checks I brought with me were not sufficiant evidence that my tax was paid, (It took hours and a conversation with several of her superiors before the matter was resolved). I couldn't help myself; I returned to her desk and said- "Madam, I must say that I deeply regret our earlier encounter and I wish to thank you for your efforts in my behalf regarding this matter. In particular, I commend your complete grasp of the mundane and your total commitment to the ambiguity of your position. By your actions today, you have reaffirmed my belief that my government employs only those individuals who are uniquely qualified in both animus and insouciance." The woman's face immediately brightened and she said thankyou----- I rest my case. My husband says that she probably still remembers the day she got an apology from the stupid, canceled check lady. smiles, ink

The best one I ever heard came from my brother. "Ooooh, you have zackly breath!" What's zackly breath? " Your breath smells zackly like a buffalo's butt."

James, I've come across a few, but they have been pretty nasty and ones that i feel i would not like to share . I think i'll remain a mute spectator here. Maybe learn a few.

This is a marvelous post. The responses are teriffic great fun. My 2 favorites are: 1) You are lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut. 2) You are lower than whale feces.

i feel a little silly here.i have not gone beyond stupid,idiot and all sorts of sh*ts.

hi James! interesting I've heard "your beautiful, but when you speak the illusion is shattered" or "I didn't realise ugly and stoopid were your parents"

My mother used to tell me that "If my brains were in a gnats rear end it would fly backwards".. She did relate this to me in a loving way I am not sure what caused her to say it in the first place but she saw how much it tickled my funnybone that she used it often.. My son also went through the entire litany of the "Yo Mama" jokes, he laughed his behind off everytime he got me with a new one.. I am so glad that I do have a sense of humor, or he would be in deep stuff..

Well this isn't a joke insult that I've seen or heard anywhere but an exboyfriend of mine told me about it. He had gone to McDonalds to get some food and he was asked to go sit and they'd bring his fries since they weren't done. When the employee brought the fries, she told him 'sorry about your wait'. I guess she was like 350 lbs or something because my ex said right after she said that, he said 'no, I'm sorry about YOUR weight' and after he said that, he said he felt like an absolute d*ck... I guess it just popped out. Anyway, unfortunately I have not been able to forget it even though it IS quite offensive. I do not know what he was thinking - and yes we were already split up by the time that happened lol.

How did i missed this one ? I think i believe it will not last :D So i know the one with the manure but using a tray not a bag. There is also those about fat people. Quoting from the Crazed professor (with Eddie Murphy): Reggie's momma is so fat, that if while you are making love to her, you roll over twice, you'll still be on her.

I love humour, and I had a good laugh,I have a few of my own and I HOPE wont offend anyone. Why did the Irish woman fell out the window? [ she was ironing the curtains ]