parent living a lie
By kriquet
@kriquet (5)
United States
November 6, 2006 5:12pm CST
my mate's mom lives a lie. she says she works in nursing at a local college. this woman has not had a job in years. family has never seen a paycheck from her ever. this extends to the point of asking family members to purjur themselves to court regarding her whereabouts. she really believes she is in nursing. she replys to some sort of medical questions but i'm not sure exactly what. she has stolen from family including blank checks. is ignorant of budget, is completely untrust worthy regarding budget to the point of being removed from joint account. comes over way too much for silly reasons (its almost an hour drive each way). how do i deal?
4 responses
@wsholland (5)
• United States
8 Nov 06
Oh, thats a hard one. I would suggest talking to the family and appointing someone to visit the place she says she is working. Verify that she is not employed and then take the info back to the family. At this point, as a whole, I think someone should consider and discuss counseling of some sort. This does sound like a serious problem and this could be a sign of something bigger. It could be many things, addiction, compulsion, delusion, etc. You want to get this straightened out. I think that if she is faced with thr truth that she will have to come to terms with it. She might be having an "issue" that she doesnt feel she can share with anyone and that might be why she is showing up at strange times for strange things. She just feels like she needs someone to talk to and will use any excuse.
Good Luck, I know this must be hard for you. I would suggest really speaking to the family as a joint effort to get this "under control". It's amazing what you might find out once the secret is out.. I wish you all the best and god bless
@kriquet (5)
• United States
8 Nov 06
When I question family members regarding the "problem" I get this response:
"Question my mom on anything and she will not talk to you for months and treat my dad like crap the whole time."
I guess they all just ignore it for the sake of the dad...
Thanks for the blessing, I need all I can get!
@kriquet (5)
• United States
8 Nov 06
My mate is my lover and yes it's hard to ignore her. I find it hard to communicate with this woman, i don't want to encourage her "fantasy" life but i don't want to alienate her either, she is my lover's mother. The onlyl thing i have really found in common with her is tea. sad but true.
@StarBright (2798)
• United States
8 Nov 06
Kriquet, Mom has a problem. It is obvious and everybody knows it. They have chosen to stick their heads in the sand. Mom has latched on to you because you don't know, yet. Be discrete and talk to Dad. Maybe he will shed some light on Mom's problem. Why does Dad put up with Mom's crap? Why is everyone trying to protect Dad? There are some things that need to be answered. Call the family out. Demand answers. Tell them you will not lie for Mom or anyone else. Jail time is not in your life plan. If Mom needs help, you are willing to help, but they have to get on board. Where is your mate in all of this? If the immediate family refuses to help her, if you can't find out anything and nothing changes, then lock up your valuables, refuse to play her game and be as nice as you can be to her. That's all you can do. Don't compromise your principles.
