my toddler misbehaves then hugs me- help me analyze

I agree with aserettdd. It's a child's way of manipulating a parent. My daughter, who is only 10 months old, is already trying to master the skill of manipulation as well. She fakes crying when she wants something and immediately stops when she gets it. It makes me think that she knows how to "act" already at a very young age. I suggest you stand your ground whenever she does that. You have to make her realize your authority. And she has to know that she has done something wrong which merits scolding or correcting. She has to realize that her manipulation tricks will not work with you. I think children nowadays are born with strong personalities and they will always try to test their parents' patience. God help us all!!!

Well I too agree with the two post above but I have a slightly different interpretation about her behavior. In my opinion your daughter is starting to feel hurt that is why she is becoming teary eyed and hugs you back. I do not interpret it as attention getter or anything but just as we are hurt we become teary eyed. I even see it as a way for your daughter to say she's sorry for what she did. I say be firm when trying to discipline her but when you see her crying don't soften your stand but rather tell her that she won't do that again and let her commit or promise that she won't do that again. Although its hard to really impose in her the value of everything at her age, just slowly show her that you mean business and she would get your point later. I guess she is much sweeter compared to other children her age who is really a brat that cries out loud to get your attention.

hi JanMags :) i have a son and a toddler too, he's doing that acts same with your daughter... when i noticed that he's doing that everytime we're having a "war" or a routine already. i have to think a strategy coz i know if they will act like that the tendency is to let them stop crying and the misbehavior that they did will be out of the scenario. so what i did i just ignore him everytime that he'll yell and super cry (as much as possible i will not come to him or stop him crying, so that it will instill in his mind that i'm serious)... and we go to our room and told him that what he did is wrong blah blah he shouldn't do it (and nobody can come to him especially the grannies :D am living on hubby's side :D). and until now it's effective :D when i told him don't do that and if he insists, am just quiet and observe him when he calls my attention i just ignore him and he knows that am mad already :D being a mother is not easy job but am enjoying it :D everyday is a learning process :D Godabless!0=)

I thin your daughter is trying to manipulate you with emotions... toddlers are very good at that... my daughter who is two is very good at doing that when she is with her grandparents... But when she is with me... the hugging and crying won't work anymore... because i do not want to send the message that it is okay to misbehave as long as she cries to be cute afterwards... So my advise to you... is to be firm...

Is your child still a toddler? for me misbehaving of a toddler is normal as long as it can still be controlled. Your child's attitude of hugging you with teary-eyes when you correct her may be an attitude immitated from others. I'm not a psychologist, but i've known that there is a stage in the development of a child wherein they are trying to immitate the attitude they have observed from the adults. So maybe you should observe and evaluate the sorroundings wherein your child is expose to. It may not be within the family but to other people that your child is interacting with. From that, i guess you would know how to deal with it and where to start.

my son who is three years old always gets his way to me with that. my wife is giving him tough love. he behaves more when mommy gets angry. he no longer listens to me and my wife blames me for that. i think yes your child is trying to hold you..... the advice of my wife is what i am going to give you. i wish you can do it for me i cant. har har har. show her you mean what you say, dont just forgive her just because she will give you a hug or give you a kiss. it is not easy for i can not do it. but my wife said that this will be a good start to let our child know who is the boss. goodluck

There are normal behaviors of toddlers for they are to explore. What you are doing to right his wrongs is right. Explaining it to toddlers may be difficult but just enjoy your time with your sibling and you will have a good child in the future. Never yell at your child when he/she did a wrong thing. They don't know yet what is right and what is wrong. I believe that you have just received is what you can give. Don't give your child bad memories and your child will be a happy child in the future. Enjoy moments with your child and you will enjoy life.

I'm not a mom so don't take my word for it. This is my opinion based on what I see in human behavior. I think your daughter is (1) trying to manipulate the situation so that you'd stop scolding her, and if it has worked before then she expects it to work again so she's keeping the pattern up; it's a way to get out of trouble; (2) it's her nature to hold on to something when she feels rotten - she's not only trying to get out of the trouble but she's also trying to physically assure herself that you're not leaving her no matter what. Thanks for the response on my discussion!