Does it always fall on "moms" shoulders?

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This may get lenghty, so please forgive me for what is sure to turn into a rant. Let me give you a little background. I have 3 kids, who next month will be 13,6, and 3. They're a lot to keep up with. I work a 40 hour a week job in insurance, which I love but can be stressful, as well as another 20 hour a week job from home processing inbound calls, not so stressful but a total drag. I coach soccer, belong to two PTA's, serve on the board for AYSO, plus take care of our two dogs, run all the errands and clean the house. My husband works 60 hours a week, and after that is usually planted in front of the TV or playing World of Warcraft. Two weeks ago I wasn't feeling well. I have been dealing with chest pains since June that after extensive tests the doctor couldn't find a cause for. Anyway, I was arguing with my soon to be teenager and I felt like I was going to die. I passed out in the kitchen at 7am. It was odd, but right then my husband called and asked my daughter if I was okay. She was freaking out, and he was home in 5 minutes and took me to the emergency room. They diagnosed me with ulcers (the chest pain) as well as anxiety issues and gave me a daily prescription as well as Xanax in case I really needed it. Well, after a stern lecture from the family doctor I thought my husband would "get it." Mom needs more help. I am not superwoman, shoot lately I'm not even sure I'm a woman. LOL Yesterday was my one day off for the week. I got up, got two kids to school, went to Home Depot and bought drywall and stuff for the sunroom (thank god for my dad he offered to pick it up),took the puppy to the vet, went to the grocery store, cleaned the house, threw a roast in the crockpot, peeled potatoes, did 7 loads of laundry, picked the one daughter up from kindergarten, got both little ones ready and went to my oldests soccer tournament. My husband got home an hour and a half before I did. I had spoken to him on his lunch break and told him there were baskets of clean laundry that needed to be folded and I'd call when I was on my way home so he could turn the potatoes on to boil, and that I had to work from 8-11 from home, so my time was short, I needed help. He started the potatoes. But then I was arguing with my oldest, the two little ones were all "mom, mom, mom" and the laundry hadn't even been touched. I was flipping out. My husband walks into the kitchen, sticks a fork in the potatoes and says "these are ready to be mashed". Then went and sat back down! I took a Xanax, mashed potatoes, fed everyone, sent my preteen to her room for being mouthy and hateful, cleaned up the kitchen and proceeded to fold laundry. He had the nerve to ask me "what my problem was!" So I told him, everything falls on my shoulders, and I need help. There was no reason for him to come home and plant his hiney in front of the TV, he could have at least started folding laundry. He could've mashed potatoes, he could've helped clean up the kitchen and get the little ones ready for bed. He rolled his eyes at me, and told me that was my problem because I couldn't just let things sit. I tried to explain to him that I don't have the luxury of having time to just let things sit, and he told me that was my own fault. That if I wasn't such a spaz it wouldn't be a problem. I told him that if I could count on help that I wouldnt always be in "go" mode. The only help I can depend on is my preteen to do dishes. Anyway, you get the point.After 8 years together he should know that I am a "get it done" type of person, and he should see when I am overwhelmed and need help. In your household is there one spouse that seems to get stuck with everything while the other one just rolls along like there is nothing to do?