when you're jealous but you don't have the right...

Maybe she just didn't want you to feel bad? Jealoucy is an emotion that can be dangerous. Try to get it under control. When other peope flirt with me, my husband laughs. But I've seen men and women do crazy things when jealous, so don't let it rule you. get a handle on it, control it. Take care.

a pathetic but a natural feeling. although you dont have the right to be jealous and of course the guy you like can chat with any girl he likes to have a chat with so you will just end up having this pain that there is nothing to go through. i think you are a possesove person and that is not going to be healthy in case you have a boyfriend already. does your friend knows that you like that guy? well i dont like to jump in any conclusion but if i am on your shoes i might think that they are talking about me or your friend likes that guy too. sorry for adding salt in the wounds but something like this happened already to me during high school so you just have to take care of not giving to much feelings of halata to the guy with your friends knowing it. ang gulo nuh!!!!

Your feelings are your feelings. You can't help it if you are jealous. Question, your girlfriend, does she know how you feel about the co worker? If so, then you should be hurt. He may not know how you feel but she does. A good friend wouldn't sneak around trying to be with him.If they are trying to date, a good friend would tell you before they had their first date.You can't control whom you love or whom your friend loves either. But sneaking around Can be helped.And sadly, it could be the co worker who wants to be with her. That's why I say she should be big enough to tell you if they are dating.I am sorry this is such a mess. I hope things get better. Take care, Talk to you later.

Hello, secretbear. I know what you're going through. Believe me, it completely sucks to feel something like that for somebody that is not even with you. You can't laugh, you just cannot smile at all. Somebody tells you something funny and you have to pretend that you are finding it funny, because deep inside you have no desire to laugh. Cheer up! I like this girl from my class, and I have already told her. A while later, I found that she liked another guy... A friend of mine. And she declared herself to him, so now they are almost together... What keeps them appart is the fact that she has to break up with another guy to be with him. And now that she has told him she likes him, they are walking like a couple. Wherever I go I see him holding her hand, he kissing her cheeks and all... They are always hugging each other and so close to each other... And they are both my friends. How do I deal with it? I just admit that she doesn't want me and start acting like if I don't care. It's the only thing I can do. If I start showing that I feel bad, she will just have pity on me and hide her relationship with the guy. Which is WAY worse. I'd rather see it than keep imagining. Respectfully, Munhozmib.

You see, SecretBear, that is how you know it is not true love that you feel, but just a temporary attraction. There is no room in true love for any expression of jealousy. When you are in love for real, you will feel a wonderful calm assurance that the fellow is "yours" and that is how you know it is real. Yes, you are right that it is much more important to maintain a good relationship with your fellow worker than to dream of this guy.

why don't you try your luck? why don't you make the first move? go and tell the guy how you feel, if you think that it's worth the risk. or if you think that you don't match and has no chemistry at all then stop this foolishness and go on with your life. live a jealous free life and you'll realize all that you missed when you let jealousy conquer the real you.

Yes, you're right. You don't have the right to get jealous and don't let it ruin your friendship. This also happened to me but I just hide my feelings since I don't have the with the guy.

It is natural. when you have liking for a person in mind. you nmay get jealous if anybidy is close with him. so it is not offence. does he know you like him?

Jealousy is really part of life. The thing is you have to show affection and concern to the guy so he would notice and even spend time with you. Show the guy your worth and mesmerized her with what you can do. Life is good after all. Happy posting.

Does this guy know that you like him?... or does everybody in your work place know about your feeling for the guy... that might be one reason why he is not showing any form of affection for you... I think you attraction for this guy is getting in the way of your personal life... and it is starting to become unhealthy... in the past... i had a lot of male friends... and i would get jealous everytime they get close to other girls... but i learned to control this jealousy because i realized that their world will never revolve around me forever... and that really helped a lot...

Jealously can be a killer to any relationship, including family ties and friendship ^_^ Jealously is just such a strange feeling that can occur to anyone around us.. hehe We have a right to be jealous, but we dun have the right to do anything to avoid it from happening again.. MOst of the time, it will happen only after we decide to give up, and that someone else picks it up after us.. Very naturally, we will feel very uncomfortable and we will want it back straight away.. lol =D BUt we cant do that, for we have discard it, and everybody has got equal chance now, priority is no longer ours.. The feeling of losing priority to things, is something that makes us jealous and react in a funny way ^_^ And that's perfectly normal when it comes to love, especially your case, when u are still in love with him ^_^ hehe

I can see a book coming from all of this! No joke, most romance novels come from these very situations. You know, your friend could have been embarrassed that you caught her doing something other than work, I would've been. One day, someone will come along who is just for you, and then there will be someone in the same situation you are in now. Just have patience and try to turn the jealousy into envy. There is a difference, one has malicious feelings behind it and the other is more like admiration.

My advice to you is to get rid of the jealousy feelings you have. It can control your life and make it pretty miserable. I know because jealousy is what broke up my marriage. I was married for 11 years and he was so jealous of everything I did. I couldn't look at a guy never mind talk to one, without him blowing up. It can get really out of hand. It got to the point that I didn't even go to work anymore because if there was a man there that I had to talk to, work related, and he found out he would blow a fuse. It is really hard to live with someone like that. I found I was walking on tippy toes all of the time and afraid to go anywhere, especially with him, because if some guy even looked my way he lost it. Like I had some kind of control over someone looking my way. I never ever gave him reason to be jealous as I never flirted with anyone but that is how he looked at it. That I was flirting if I even spoke one word with a man or even looked towards a man. It was a sickness with him, and now that we are broken up, he wants me back, he is seeing a councillor and trying to work it out. Working on his insecurities and jealousies. I think it is helping but I don;t know for sure as I don't see hi too often. But we do talk on the phone a lot as we don't live in the same city anymore. I have spoken to his councellor too, so I know he is doing better, but it is a sickness that he may have to work on forever. My point is, don;t let yourself get out of control with your jealousies. I don't think you have a right to be jealous of your co-worker. It isn't as if you are seeing this guy.

thanks so much for sharing us your story. jealousy can really ruin not just friendship but any relationship likewise. just wanted to say you did a great job in not letting jealousy step in to your friendship. have a great weekend

I can see why you are a little hurt of jealous...it's natural I think and under the circumstances where he does not return the same feelings I think it magnifies everything that goes on without you. I have a friend that sometimes gets jealous...and I try not to let it destroy our friendship. So good for you! Maybe it's time to put the guy on the back burner.....

your reactions are normal, people get paranoid over matters when they know they don't have rights to be one...i am a freak myself when i get jealous, but its the other way around i have my rights to get jealous on my side...but somehow i had been there before..the guy was my ex and i still love him so much, we couldn't just be together because we were wrong to be together, i found out he was dating someone else i knew, the girl was someone who had been trying to hook him up ever since that were still on...i know the feeling is not right but i felt like i am gonna explode...it feels so painful that i hope i can live without a heart

Oh secretbear! This is so not good! You have to stop this~! I she really was your friend she wouldn't be doing this in front of you because she knows that you like this person. But, again he isn't yours so it really isn't your business. And you shouldn't be bothering with people at work because that's how you end up screwing up your job. Take it from me, I've been there! You need to concentrate on you job, not on these people or your going to find yourself in big trouble and out of a job! Be careful!

Hi friend,.Jealosy is present in every human being.That too when we love some person or thing and if someone else gets that we naturally get that feeling.It happens to everyone at anytime.But that feeling ruins our mental health,relation ship,friendship and what not,So we should never allow that feeling to ruin us.We should see that we overcome jealosy whatever situation maybe.thanks for sharing.happy mylotting.

oh well even though you have no right to feel I guess it is alright as long as you don't show it, so it really is not true that you have no right to feel that way, you have all the right to feel jealous, but of course what you don't have a right is to show it. When I am still single and I was head over heels in love with my hubby and he was with some one else before, I was really so jealous and want to kill the girl! and until now when I remember those instances I slap my hubby

Well, at least you weren't overwhelmed by your emotions, because that would really ruin your friendship for only some misunderstanding.