Am i bad because i am mad at some kids?
By pinkytabor
@pinkytabor (818)
Philippines
October 11, 2008 8:06am CST
My blood pressure is rising right now because of my son's nephews ages 3-5. They are all over the house right now and i could not control them. I think they are spoiled rotten and i wonder why their mothers think letting them on their own would make them independent and responsible - at this age. One is climbing the double decked bed in our bedroom after taking out all my sons' clothes from the drawers, the other one is in the kitchen, eating cheese by the fridge, the other one is tearing the paper alphabets i sticked on the wall and one is playing with my two boys (but he keeps on throwing toys as if they are sand.) They never listen nor do they seem to respect an adult. So i gave up and just keep on guarding this PC. I know this is what happens in nursery school, but i tried everything i can to get their attention/interest but they just want to break things and each other's bones. Tell me, is this normal for kids these age? Because everytime my two year old is in a place not his house, he is always well behave, Well, he does want to explore and sometimes run around but he is not as "active" and hard-headed as these boys who all seem to have ADD or ADHD. I also feel guilty for feeling this, but i tell you, i have tried affection, talking to them on their level, acting like a clown just to get their attention, giving them toys to play with, running after each one....i have tried everything, and i am fed up and i gave up. What i don't like the most is that my two sons are imitating them and i am surprise at Sami (my two year old) throwing a ball at me, hitting my face. Help me understand this...or should i make their mothers understand what their children are doing?
How about your kids? Are they well-disciplined?
2 people like this
5 responses
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
11 Oct 08
son's nephew? by law it is your grandchildren right? oh you say ages 3 and 5, well my friend you come in the right place, that is very NORMAL to kids that age, that age I think is a very deadly combination in kids. as you know my two toddlers are in that age range. oh my you don't want to live near me, I shout all day, I scream on the top of lungs and still they never listened to me, they just play and play and what is worst is the reason out when I tell them to stop being naughty they would say they are not and that it was only a joke or a play. Yes your two year old is very behaved but believe me when he turns three he will so playful and sweet and when he turns 5 he will start ignoring you and will reason out always. oh well that is the bad part on it, that your son is taking up their attitude. and maybe they also need to tone down a little, but I guess it was really normal, my kids even if we are on some one else's house they are still playful and they go around the house as if it is their own, they explore and have fun, and you are not bad. I myself always get mad at my very own kids what more if it is not your own?
the next their in your house, keep away toys that are hard to pick up, my nephew was like that and he loves throwing things and taking out all toys, what I did was I keep away small toys that are hard to pick and then I lock doors of the drawers, maybe you should do the same, they are still kids after all. we have to be very cautious when they are around.
@pinkytabor (818)
• Philippines
11 Oct 08
Gosh, i had to re-read my post. I meant son's first cousins. My blood pressure's really rising when i wrote that. Well, i am not the yelling type of mom though i am the "jumping" type (i jump, dance, shake my body, sing -act like a crazy clown to get their attention.)and i pretty get my son's attention doing so. But boy, these little devils are deaf, numb and "high." Thanks for sympathizing with me. It is indeed difficult with kids other than yours because they are raised up quite differently. Oh i did the same thing too - keeping their toys away in a drawer and locked it. The toys that are out are the ones they have already destroyed a long time ago, so they just kept on smashing them and throwing them until they almost look like colored potato chips. Do your sons do the same thing when they are someplace else? Do you think my husband's nephews are quite undisciplined because they never listen to me?
@eshow1990 (98)
• China
11 Oct 08
to me , the children at this age behaving like this is all right.
my mother's associate has a kid in your kids age, you could rarely see him staying quiet ,doing something out of distructiblity.he just runninig around the house ,jumpng here and there, breaking something.he will even bother you when you are driving car.
i think small child are all alike ,you don't need to worry much.
maybe you can call a dry nurse to help you if your weife doesnt has time.
or rather,you will be all right after this period .
1 person likes this
@pinkytabor (818)
• Philippines
11 Oct 08
Hi there. Thanks for your suggestions. Well i know these things they do are quite normal but i do not know if "not listening to an adult" is also normal or this is a sign that they are undisciplined. My boys, 1 and 2 year old are quite behaved when in someone else's house and they listen to me. But these boys of my sister in laws are really hard headed. They seem to be deaf.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
12 Oct 08
I had a cousin like that problem . Thing is sometimes is if the kids do not get freedom at their house I mean they are strictly disciplined (Or not disicplined at all too) they behave in this manner if their parents are not around. The key is to be moderate and firm disciplining and allow kids to be kids at times. May be you can try and take a ball and take them out to a park. Kids have to much energy and they do need to spend it all before they finally tire out and sit at a place, Try making the one who is eating cheese by fridge a sandwich and make him sit on the table or simply offer him biscuits to eat, may be he is hungry.
The one who is tearing alphabets from your wall justy get a laundry basket place it on thew floor and give them rough papers to tear and throw in the basket make up a game for them just try and make it fun may be all others would join too.
they are too small and by the sound of it hell bent on making some mess so just let them make it but in your way.I hope it helps
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
11 Oct 08
First, you are not bad at all for feeling some ill feelings at this time. It has to be horrendous to be in your predicament right now. It is very difficult to deal with unruly children. I am a pretty passive person by nature and try to be patient even if a child is getting under my skin.
Maybe these children don't get the attention they need from their parents so they could just be acting out or because of their ages it might be normal to be running around without a care. I do have one five year old son and life is not always perfect with him either. I try to show him love and attention and I do think it helps but as a child he is going to be high wired. My son likes to play and does talk back from time to time but it could be worse. I feel for your situation now. I probably would be guarding the PC also! No telling what could come flying. Everything will come to pass eventually for you and as for telling the mothers, well I don't usually like rattling the cage so to speak. If the mother asks about the behavior I might say something. It could be the mothers know all about their children's behavior and don't know what to do either. I have seen these cases before.
@pinkytabor (818)
• Philippines
11 Oct 08
Thanks for your reassurance. I still feel guilty for these feelings. And one had just hurt my one year old. His little hands were ran over by the bicycle his four year old cousin was riding while he was playing on the floor. I kept on telling myself this is normal for these kids, but is it normal when they don't listen? When they don't seem to hear a thing i am saying? It was crazy having to run after each of them because they might break something if not their bones. Then after having settled one, i have to run to another, take him out from somewhere unsafe and..it was an endless series of chases. I gave up because i do not want to end up hurting them nor yelling at them because i have noticed their mothers do not do that and i might end up being a "witch" to them. So i will just tell their mothers that they should not leave their small children alone because they might end up being in the street. It's good that they went to my house.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
11 Oct 08
I hear what you are saying but then again you don't want to be taken advantage of either. It is good for the kids not to be alone or out in the streets however it shouldn't be all your responsibility to care for them all and try to handle them.
How long are they going to be there? The children, I mean.
@pinkytabor (818)
• Philippines
12 Oct 08
Hi there. My agony's over now. They played for an hour here and ended up hurting my one year old's hands (ran over by a bicycle driven by his 4 yr. old cousin.) I sent my husband a message through text telling him "I look like a princess now with your sleeping sons looking like cute little tired dragons and the house looks like a dungeon. Thank you so much for taking the time responding, bamakelly.
