I am sick of parents who don't care!
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
October 11, 2008 11:44am CST
This is going to be a rant, because I'm fuming right now.
My 11 year old son had a soccer game today. One kid on the team he was playing against was being a complete brat! He wasn't listening to his coach, and he was being far too aggresive. I counted 3 times where he purposely attacked someone on the opposing team, one of those times it was my son he tackled and knocked to the ground. That child's father was sitting right next to me, and never once said a word about any of it.
At the end of the game the coach of that team yelled at him and flat out said "You're acting like a 2 year old". Still the father said and did nothing. I stood there complaining to my son's coach loud enough for the father to hear me, but he didn't even look in my direction.
Eventually I complained to that child's coach. I think it's just ridiculous. We all had to pay money to get our kids into soccer. They're supposed to learn team work and sportsmanship, and this kid is playing as if it's football, not soccer.
Now this isn't the first time we've had a problem with this kid. It's a small community so I've seen him on other teams.. he was even on my son's baseball team one year. We ended up quitting the season early because of this kid. He was typically a catcher while my son was typically a pitcher. The kid was such a brat.. he would walk away from the game in the middle of an inning because he just didn't want to play anymore. If he gets knocked into he plays it up like he has a broken bone. One time he was hit in the leg by a soccer ball and he was limping for weeks.
And I've seen the way his parents interact with him. They allow him to behave like this and they baby him. They even allow him to drink Pepsi during the game instead of a water bottle.
Do you know a child like this? Does your kid have to play on a team with a spoiled brat? Does anyone else get irritated by things like this?
6 people like this
14 responses
@relundad (2310)
• United States
12 Oct 08
It sounds like this kid may have some behavior issues that need to be checked. I am sure that the parents were probally hoping that team sports would calm some of the aggression down and sometimes this is the perfect answer, other times it doesn't work.
As for the parents of this kid, they are aware of the problems that their kid has. I am not sure that any response of any type would be satisfactory for you, short of the kid not playing. I know that as a parent of a very well mannered child, I find it hard sometimes to believe that this is not the norm. But it is really not. We are lucky actually based on some of the behavior that I witness in the schools and on the sports field.
The coaches are basically volunteers and limited to what they can do to correct the child since they basically pay for the right to play. The best that you can do is hope that your child is still able to get the benefits of team sports despite the behavior of this kid.
2 people like this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Oct 08
Yup, I do know kids like this. The problem is that the kid has too many enablers. The coach does nothing to stop it. Other parents don't complain until their own kid is the victim. The child's parent's obviously don't care. Its sad because in the end this kid will end up being the one hurt.
2 people like this
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
12 Oct 08
If you watch the parents of these kids you will often find exactly why they have become the way they are. Yesterday we were at my son's little league football game and because we were loosing I actually heard one father very loudly proclaiming the other team was cheating. He even went so far as to say the refs were being paid off by the other team (in Little League). The straw that broke the camel's back was when he admitted to telling his son to facmask another kid (on the other team) and break his neck if they were going to cheat. Come on, these are third, fourth and fifth grade kids. I was furious and could not believe what I was hearing.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Oct 08
Think that father needs some councelling himself.
1 person likes this
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
11 Oct 08
None of the coaches that my daughter's children have played under would allow that child to be on the team. If they act like that, they'd be taken out of the game. But they do play against teams that advocate being mean! Her 12 year old's premier played in a tournament away with different states. They were in TN. They won all their games except but one against Kentucky. The kids were told to be mean. They were running over our players, even hitting the goalie (her son). The parents also got very mouthy and, at one time, she said the referee stopped the game and told the parents on that side if they didn't get quiet, he was putting them out of the park. We've seen them do it and even saw a young referee put a COACH out of the park at one game! The coach said you can't do that and the young guy said, oh yes I can! And the coach left!
We've gone through this in school with the varsity teams her children have played on and in both her daughter and son's premier teams. There are always bullies out there. Sometimes the referees are fair and other times they let it go. Her children played on City League until able to play on Premier teams are Varsity at school, so they've seen it all.
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
11 Oct 08
In other words, there is no rules? Do they not have try outs for the kids to get on the team? Every team that our grandchildren have played for had try outs and you had to be good to get on the team. It wasn't as hard for the younger ones, but they had to have the ability to play and be good sports. That's one thing I like about all the coaches they've played under. They stress good sportsmanship. I don't see not letting the coaches have the last say on letting kids play or not.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Oct 08
No they don't do try outs at this age. Any kid who signs up and pays the fees is on the team. Trust me it has frustrated me since my oldest began playing. There's always a couple rotten eggs in the bunch. Next year he will be on the school team, where there will be try outs. Thank goodness, I can't wait.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Oct 08
Oops, I'm repeating myself about playing through school, lol. Have to keep my thoughts straight here. Sorry.
1 person likes this
@debby28 (89)
• United States
11 Oct 08
I have a question isn't it the coaches job to stop him from that? I think parents should kinda stay out of it there, now the boy needed punished at home to but right then why didn't the coach pull him from the game. I don't think that parents should interfere with the coaches so maybe if he did this is one of the parents who would have said u are picking on my kid. So I think the anger should be with the other coach.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
11 Oct 08
The coaches actually don't do any sort of behavior modification with these kids. Some do, but most don't. They aren't told to control the kids.. just to coach them. I personally stop my own kids from behaving this way, as I don't expect the coaches to do that.
1 person likes this
@camomom (7535)
• United States
12 Oct 08
I ate to say it but my fiances ex-wife lets his son act like this. We do NOT allow it but whenever she's around, he gets away with it with her. We are the bad parents for scolding him for it. "he's just a little boy" she says. Well that little boy is 7 years old and knows better then to be a 2 year old brat.
He also played baseball for a season and he had a team mate that was like this also. Only he was worse then my fiances son. He'd throw a fit if he couldn't bat first or if he couldn't be on the base that he wanted. He walked off the field a few times. My fiance was the coach and he came very close to kicking him off the team.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Oct 08
7 is not a little boy in my opinion. If my 5 year olds can control themselves and show respect... and get punishments if they don't, then a 7 year old sure as heck can also.
1 person likes this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
12 Oct 08
No, I don't know many children like that.
But I can understand your frustration.
Bratty kids are really hard to deal with.
And, they mess up the fun for the other
kids too.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
12 Oct 08
katsmeow1213,
I think there is a little error on your part here, where you got your son to quit baseball because of one individual. In my opinion, this is not right. No offense, I am sure that in any team sport if he does not fit the team, his interest to play and/or participate will wane in no time. Even if he does not do anything the coach will do it in due time.
I am a firm believer of true justice and I just felt that your kid will not be able to see and experience this. Also, the learning of coping with difficult people should be a good start here. We don't simply walk away because of a non team player, and we do not want our team to suffer just because of a non team player. Just stick on and let justice be mete out. Sometimes given the time and patience, this non player might learn a thing or two and before you know it wakes up to his senses.
People may be bad, but they may change for the better. If we do not give ourselves to see it then what are we growing and learning about this life?
Hope you saw the other point here and have a great day.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Oct 08
To be honest there were other things at play, such as difficulty getting to the games and practices. The whole situation was very hard on my whole family, and it wasn't worth all the trouble when my son was being hurt by his partner not playing and the other antics this kid showed. It wasn't fair to my whole family the struggles we had to go to in order to just show up at the games and practices. My husband would have to miss work or be late so we could take the car. I'd have to wake all my children up at a very early hour to take hubby to work. It just didn't seem worth it.
If the kid were on his soccer team this year I think I'd just change teams. Honestly the antics of this child... well he hurts his whole team by what he does, and I don't want that for my son.
1 person likes this
@littleone3 (2063)
•
12 Oct 08
That reminds me of the time my daughter was playing lacrosse with her school team they were up against another school team.
One of the pupils from the other team started hitting my daughters team mates with the lacrosse stick and his teacher just stood there and said and done nothing.
The coach had given him several warnings but he payed no heed to them. The final straw came when he hit one of my daughters team mates round the head. The impact was so hard that the boy ended up being knocked to the floor. He was dazed.
At this the coach ordered him off the pitch. The boy stomped off in a temper throwing his lacrosse stick down.
His teacher still done nothing she just watched him go.
It ended up with my daughter's head teacher putting in a complaint to the boys headteacher as she was disgusted at his behavior.
So it is not just parents that do it.
It does irritate me when parents do things like that as it is not fair on the other children.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Oct 08
If a lot of the parents fought hard enough, they probably could. Unfortunatly most parents don't pay any attention to whats going on during games and practice. And the ones that do don't seem to notice or care about these things.
2 people like this
@craz4coy (23)
•
11 Oct 08
I know what you mean. I have a brat myself but it's not because we don't care. My husband and I have strong moral values and believe in " spare the rod, spoil the child". My son is disciplined when he has done wrong. He is 4 and understands the difference between right and wrong. The problem is my son is stubborn and headstrong, JUST LIKE ME!!!! My son exhibits my personality in everything he does but in a childlike manner. He runs around screaming NO! at me and my husband and then he gets a spanking. I just had a baby 3 weeks ago and now we have to deal with jealousy. This Dad might be tired or have just lost someone in his life. You never know what others are going through. I wouldn't judge too harshly. If it affects you and yours, try talking to him about his son. If he truly doesn't care, try contacting someone who does!!
@jenboops (96)
• United States
12 Oct 08
I think that organized sports has gotten way out of hand. In high school I can understand to some degree that whether you win or lose or play well makes a difference to the kid, the parents and their peers. However, I have a 13 year old stepson that plays soccer and I see how his mother has put so much importance on his playing that I don't think he has a choice. When I first met him 2 years ago, whether he did well or messed up in the game dictated the whole mood of his parents and him. I'm sorry but at 13 you don't have scouts watching you and how does that teach sportsmanship. I've even caught him bragging about getting away with something. This is not acceptable to me, I don't think any kid should have to be afraid to do something, especially because of a bully. Good Luck.
Jenboops
@amoisan (240)
• Canada
11 Oct 08
yes i know how you feel my son plays on a baseball team with this boy who if he does not hit the ball he starts slaming his bating the ground and he gets very mad and his dad does nothing i tell my son its just a game and to try his best some people just dont get that message.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
11 Oct 08
A lot of kids get frustrated when the game doesn't go their way. Even adults can get frustrated. I think that's rather natural.
1 person likes this
@Aentaori5 (6)
• Malaysia
12 Oct 08
Well, that's not relaly good, isn't it? Even the coach is being an irresponsible man. I think that child that attacked 3 times is a real spoiled brat and his parents do not care about him enough. He needs his parents attention more.
