Is it harder to leave and said say goodbye...

United States
October 12, 2008 10:54pm CST
Or to be left, and have to say goodbye to them? What's your opinion on this? I've always been the one who leaves, moves from place to place, and says goodbye. It's become a routine for me. And I feel no emotion at all when I leave, because I've learned to cope with it. And besides that, I've learned to keep distance from everyone, since I know one way or another, I'll leave. It's become fairly easy for me. But in this case, I'm not the one leaving. Within this week, my sister will be leaving with her son and husband to Germany. Minimum years are three. Max. are ten years. I know one way or another I'll go and visit them. But I was wondering: Will it be harder for me to say goodbye to me, now that I'm not the one leaving? Will I actually cry?! What do you think? Do you think it's easier/harder to say goodbye when your the one leaving? Or the opposite? Or both?! Thanks for sharing your thoughts I really appreciate it :)
4 people like this
18 responses
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
15 Oct 08
Well, my sister moved to Pennsylvania just over 2 weeks ago from about 30 mins. from me in Tacoma, WA. Who knows how long it will be until I ever see her again, but it could be a long time, and since she was the only one in my family I am close too, I understand your thoughts here. It is hard to cope when they're the ones leaving you instead of you leaving them, as no one likes to feel left all alone. But things happen, and there really is not much we can do. Just make sure you let her know how much you care, and take things from there. If you remember to just do this, then things should not be so bad.
• Australia
14 Oct 08
for its harder to say goodbye especially to your loved ones. The first tiem i ecperienced it was when i migrated to australia and leave my parents and sisters in the philippines. Its painful thinking that u wont see and talk to them very often. I dont like to go and leave them but no choice becasue i also love my husband who lived and born her ein australia. My family back home didnt realize how i miss them so much, its hard but i have to go.
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
13 Oct 08
It is v very hard to say goodbye! Don't worry about it too much. During our life, we have to face so many separations. Wish the one who is leaving good luck
• United States
13 Oct 08
When I have a loved one that is leaving for a sustantial amount of time, It's harder for me if we don't say goodbye even though goodbyes can be just as painful. Without the goodbye, I feel worse. Before my husband and I got married, he was in the Marine Corps and for 6 months, I only got to see him about twice a month over the weekends. It was terrible everytime he had to go back. When the tables were turned and we got married, It wasn't as painful when it was me who was leaving but my mom felt the way I used to when he would have to leave. I have been that way with everyone I know. It was still painful but not as much when I was the one leaving. But I don't say goodbye anyway. I always say "See you later" and let the person know I love them because I don't believe in goodbye. We will see each other again no matter how long it takes.
• Philippines
13 Oct 08
its hard to leave and say goodbye especially when your leaving someone you love or something you want its never been easy to say goodbye its the hardest thing i've ever felt in my whole life.
• Philippines
13 Oct 08
Its easier when you are the one leaving and saying goodbye. sometimes, someone leaves you and you are caught off guard. Now, that's even harder. In your case, I think you have grown accustomed to goodbyes so the difference is not much.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
13 Oct 08
it is always hard to say goodbye. when you are once atatched too much with a person, its hard actually when your feelings are true.when its routine, it is not something which is going to make any impact.
@rsa101 (38148)
• Philippines
13 Oct 08
Yeah you know it made me think too since I am not used to leave all the time its me that is always left behind by someone close to me. Well in my case it would be the opposite perhaps when I am the one leaving it would be hard for me not like you are in your situation. So I guess my conclusion to this question is it depends from where you are right now.
@catmint (628)
• Singapore
13 Oct 08
For me it is harder for me to leave and say goodbye. I am leaving behind things and people I am familiar with, the burden of total loneliness rest fully on the one leaving, the one being left behind will fill lonely too but staying with all things familiar makes saying goodbye a smidgen easier. Of course, I do not mean eternal parting. That would be toughest on the one left behind alive.
• India
13 Oct 08
It all depends on the amount of affection you have with the people. Your approach is correct in this manner. Even though we know we will be leaving soon, we tend to make some close friends at a place. Which will be very hard indeed at times when you have to say goodbye. If you are in deep relationship with the people, then it's always harder. Be it your leaving or them leaving. But hey, life is not all happiness. It's some part sadness too. Hope that you can go through your sister leaving for Germany.. bourne
@despompa (472)
• Philippines
13 Oct 08
when my husband was assigned to another assignment, i was like very sad. i am used in being with him since we got married. it was our first time to be separated from each other only for a month though. im not good in good bye's i just can't seem to handle it. i think i'll be dealing with lots of separation anxiety specially if it's really the closest person to you.
• United States
13 Oct 08
I think it depends on the relationship and why you're leaving or the other person is leaving. I have moved several times in the past few years, some great full happiness and others not so much. The last person I left was over 14 years ago and I made the best decision- at the time I thought I would be changed froever and I was but not the way I thought. Everywhere I go those I love go with me in my heart and that means never having to say goodbye.
• India
13 Oct 08
I just say a bye to my dear ones. Have never used goodbye to anyone. I'm an emotional character can't see people cry,will start crying then. So,it will be tough for me in either case. But there again,it's part and parcel of life,SEPERATION. Will feel bad initially will then learn to live with that,after all that's all I can do. Cheers :)
• Qatar
13 Oct 08
its really hard to say goodbye to those person we love, regardless of whose leaving. I'm the one who is leaving all the time cos as of now, I and my family lives in Qatar.
• United States
13 Oct 08
I am a very emotional person either way, so I would say it doesn't matter whose leaving because I'm being separated from that person regardless of whose leaving. All I can think about is "Boo Hoo! I'm gonna miss you" I was the one that usually left my family to go somewhere far out of the way, and it was hard each time. One other time my mom and dad left to go back home to Iowa but my grandma and aunt wanted me to stay with them. The pain was NO different, it was sooo heartbreaking.
• United States
13 Oct 08
I have first hand experience in being left knowing that I won't see someone for a while, or at least having that in my mind that I won't see them for a while. Over the summer my boyfriend flew in from Sweden and stayed for a month, after a month I was so used to him being here it was hard to think of him going back home, so when the time came I was so devastated that he had to leave. He went to the gate and we kissed and said goodbye, as I walked away he yelled "I love you", but I could not say it back or I would have burst into tears, so I mouthed it to him and then turned around and cried all the way out of the building, and all the way home, I can't really remember when I stopped crying, I think it took days to get a grip on things. A week after that I could not stand not knowing when I would see him next, so with his knowing, I booked a flight to Sweden for December 6th - January 4th, it makes me feel a lot better knowing the next time I will see him, 54 days from now I will be in his arms! Though not so long after that 54 days I will have to go home and I will know what it is like to leave some one, I am really not looking forward to that part of the trip, it scares me to think about being that miserable again, and it will be more public because I will share a seat next to people for about nine hours; I really hope that I can make it through without crying my eyes out! I won't know when I will see him after that, he will be in the navy for a full year starting in January, so I doubt I will see him then, but we will see... I will live and we can make it through all of the distance, we have for the past year and a half. Happy mylotting and have a great day or night, I wish you and your sister very happy lives, I hope you will see and speak to her as often as you can!
@tuyakiki (3016)
• India
13 Oct 08
Its harder to say goodbye to the person we loved.And while saying it,tears rolls down my eyes,without my knowledge.I had once said goodbye to my family members while leaving for my university for the first time.
@RenoMan (90)
• Togo
13 Oct 08
I've always found that when I'm saying good-bye and leaving it's because I've had enough and it's time to go, so I don't feel bad at all. In fact I usually feel pretty relieved to be leaving. The tables have turned on me now. My wife is leaving me and yet I still feel the same. Relieved. Can hardly wait until she's gone. She sure is taking her time about it and that's driving me right up the wall. I don't know if you'll cry when your family leaves, but I do think you will feel sad and probably a lot different than if it was you leaving. Everybody's different and we never really know how we'll feel about anything until it happens eh?