Ever had to deal with "Selective Response Syndrome" on myLot?

Suspicious? It's a personal vendetta alok I just KNOW it! lol. I never went as far as determining the trends so thanks for doing the hard yards in this regard! I have just always found it intriguing, especially when there are discussions where very single response except for mine has been replied to! I don;t have notifications on either by the way. This got the boot a week after I joined as it was driving me insane! I get enough emails per day as it is without having to deal with that also. Thanks for the comments and you have your response now so breathe easy my friend!

Thank you. Thank you. I'm breathing easy now. There seems to be this personal vendetta stuff going on around a bit i suppose. Best observed, ignored i suppose. No point in taking it any further.

Ignorance is bliss apparently?

Hang on there. Will catch you in a bit.. Please..

I ain't going anywhere! I have at least another 6 hours in the office to go yet! I shall wait in anticipation! lol.

That's a lot of maybe's mimpi! And any reason why it is always a "he"? lol. I agree that in many cases where most have been replied to but not your own then it is probably an oversight; and it is clear to see patterns with some members where they either don't answer anyone at all or just a select few friends. I have to admit that in the cases where it is clear that I am the only one or one of a handful of responses NOT replied to then I tend to get a little annoyed too. And yes, it can be a tremendous challenge replying to each and every response when you get a good number of them but I do it and I will continue to do it as long as I am able. As per your statement, it took time, soul and serious thinking so if an effort is made then I shall always make one in return! Thanks for the comments mimpi.

Well, I haven't PM'd anyone yet....just thought I'd put a hint across that if I don't get a comment from you....you can expect a PM from me:P

Ah! So in a sense you were testing the waters in preparation for any future assaults! I understand totally. Well I have NEVER not responded to one of your replies that I know of so I guess I won't be expecting any PM's anytime soon!

I do understand this mindset, sure. I too can struggle sometimes in finding ways to reply but I do end up doing so regardless. But I am also on mylot considerably more than you are able to so time factors need to be considered as well. I would like to think though that I have never left a response that closes the dorr on that front! lol. I agree also that an oversight with known friends carries more concern than with an acquintance or new user but I have never PM'd somebody if they overlooked me yet. Thanks for your comments SViswan.

You don't go putting hexes or anything on any of us do you? It's definitely not the same when it's all one sided. Some of the most entertaining echanges come from the sub-discussions! I stop responding to some people too for the very same reasons and it can be a shame sometimes because some of the topics can be very interesting and are worth far more conversation; but if they never come back with anything then it's just not worth the effort.

Well, I do think "a$$hole", but the only person that affects is myself, so I try to think it really fast and then let it go, hehehe. I absolutely agree with what you have said on the topic... I have stopped responding to a few users who post some very interesting discussions, but then never 'discuss'. What a waste, but I don't like the disappointment of getting no reply so I just stay away.

Well it has been said that a discussion forum without responses is just like a novel, and without input from others or a differing storyline it gets boring after awhile, who is going to read the same book over and over and over? I agree that some of the liveliest discussions ensue from all the off-topic chatter comments that pool under the original responses. As far as getting back to respond in your own posted discussions, I think we all need to cut people a LITTLE slack, I'm sure I have a few that I haven't gotten back to lol. You never know which ones will get 4 responses total and which ones will take off and have 85 responses within the 5 hours you're gone.

Another member for the club then Opal! lol. (See the above reply for club details!). I have turned off notifications for ALL people so tend to go back to the responded section throughout the day to check what's what. I too would stop interacting with anyone that consistently fobbed me and I am sure many others would do the same. Thanks for responding and keep those eyes sharp Opal. If there's an evil plot it must never prevail!

I responded to 2 or 3 of your discussions Opal, and you never acknowledged me once. That is why I removed you from my friends list, I figure friends are interested in what you have to say, if they are not then what kind of a friend is that??

Zigzagbuddha, I had no idea that you responded to my discussions. I hardly ever even start any. I think I may have started 6 or 7 in the 4 months that I have been here. I am not the type of person to ignore people in my discussions. If you commented late I might not have seen it. I also don't get all my friends notifys, I never did. I would never do that to anyone on purpose. You read my comment. It came from the heart. It has been done to me so why would I do that to you. I am truly sorry if I did. I am sure I didn't see your comments. I don't even skip over peoples comments. I would like us to be friends. I am very upset about this. I am going to give you a friend request and I hope you will accept so that I can fix this. I hated when this was done to me and even then I didn't delete anyone, although I should have. Please give me a proper chance. I asked you to be my friend, so why would I intentionally want to hurt you. There are alot of glitches here on mylot. My pm's don't send. I can't even answer someone when they pm me because if I try to send it disappears. I am asking you for a chance to make it up to you, the choice is yours. I truly apologize for any misunderstanding. I would never set out to hurt anyone. Especially some I asked to be a friend!

You too SaintAnne? Maybe we could start a club! "The Unreplied To's" (Or TUT for short!) I have to admit that it gets me wondering as well. I have missed the odd one myself too actually, like when someone replies to your own reply so I then don't realize that in between this someone else has added a new response..... But I do end up seeing this eventually and go back and reply. So once again you are not alone! Thanks for the response.

Perfect! So we have bumper stickers for member's already......

Toot for King Tut!

Heya Trace. I reply to each and every response myself and will continue to do so as long as I am able. I do understand though that it can be a challenge because sometimes people don't come up with anything too detailed at all. But I guess i am one of those people that always has something to say, so even if they reply with a few words, I always seem to find something! lol. My New Year so far is shaping up nicely too thanks. I have high hopes for 2009 and am optimistic and positive as ever! Sharra, I just don't bother interacting anymore with people that never bother to reply to anyone. Each to their own and I understand that not all members will reply to everybody and this is of course fine; but never replying to any at all? This is totally counterproductive and in my opinion, goes against the whole purpose of this site. I agree with you 100% that it is in our best interests to reply to all or as many as we can too. This gives our discussion more exposure, helps generate new friendships and creates opportunities to open up further discussion. Some of the most fun exchanges I have had came from subsequent chats within a discussion!

I try to do this as well but there are some people who never respond to anyone. I cannot understand why they even bother to set up discussions if they are not interested in what people have to say. I agree that some responses are hard to reply back to but if you get lots then it can also be hard to keep replying to the same sort of responses with original replies. I also do not like it when people paste the same response to every response in the discussion. I try to do an original answer to everyone and it may take me a long time but it is worth it in the end.

I have had this happen to me also from time to time subha. As far as I am concerned, this provides us with a pretty clear indication that it is purely a one-way street so we may as well no longer make the effort with that particular user anymore. I do try to respond to the people that make the effort with me as much as I can but of course it isn't always easy. I hope I'm not one of these people you are referring to! Thnaks for your response.

Oh the pain, the PAIN of it all! I don't use alerts myself actually so rely on monitoring the discussions as best I can from the site itself. It really IS all about gratitude so I appreciate your own mindset here. They make the effort and so shall I! I just hope I can continue to do so when things start to get really busy again for me soon. Thanks for the response austere.

Maybe there are some people with their own secret myLot mathematical response formula's? Such are the intricacies of human nature austere! I certainly wouldn't let it ruin a minute let alone an entire day! Onwards and upwards!

hehe well, i would understand if you get busy.. what i hate is that they really skip when they respond back to the responses.. like they give back a comment on number 1, number 3 and number 4, skipping number 2 without any response!huhuhu but i dont really take it seriously though, i just feel a little not so happy.. but then again, i dont make it ruin my day!

Now this is where I LOVE to reply! If someone has a differing point of view then I have the opportunity to engage them further and have a really good conversation about it! It's a shame when they won't allow this to happen. It is pretty obvious too which users just post discussions for earnings only and I try to steer clear of these ones. Single sided activity is just no fun at all. Thanks for the comments vijigopi.

I agree too James and mommyboo... disagreeing makes the discussion a lot more interesting because the pros and cons are debated to and fro. But not all people love to argue, I suppose. Besides, they might just think we are nuts and keep moving on... hope nobody thinks I'm nuts now..

Well I for one am not afraid to discuss something, especially if it differs from my point of view. I have read some responses and had entirely NO understanding why the poster is so adamant that they feel the opposite of me. I usually respond because I want to know WHY - whether it's cultural, family/friends related, religious, political, whatever. Sometimes it's purely because of their surroundings and environment - they never even considered MY point of view at all because it's nonexistant or a rarity where they live, ie my discussion is the first time anybody ever questioned how they think or feel. I have been on that side of the fence as well in discussions I have responded to. It tends to actually be more interesting than the discussions in which everybody says 'I agree...'.

Better late than never right? I am not aware of any complaints about you mayka and I do not recall you never replying to my own responses to your discussions before either. Most of the people I know of on here are not like this at all and it is usually new people I come across that occasionally seem to exhibit these types of behaviours. Anyways, I will always make the effort to reply to all responses myself and if I ever come across people that repeatedly ignore my responses then I just won't make the effort with them anymore! Thanks for your comments.

I am not overly concerned either if there are many that have been skipped; but when I am the ONLY one then I do start to wonder! Thanks for responding DAddyOfTheRose and thank you also for helping me to reach 50 responses!

I can understand skepticism if you were the only one in 50 that was missed and it keeps happening. :(

My pleasure magda. Mylot is a complex ecosystem of online persona's and there will always be varying degrees of conflict an joys just like any other cimmunity. All we can ever be is ourselves and we can't ever make every single person happy either! In time, you will find yourself starting to understand the intricacies of this site more and more and your experiences will improve as a result. Just be patient, be always respectful; and be true to who you are!

This is an interesting aspect magda! I certainly am not afraid of any newbie? I do try to respond to newbie discussions whenever I can and have even made suggestions from time to time. The deleted discussion aspect is something I can relate to though, yes. I have to admit that there are certain discussions that I see posted that I will immediately avoid because I can see they are not within the rules. But then again this is not only newbie discussions, it's ANY discussion! Knowledge comes with time so we should all be patient with new people and help wherever we can. Thanks for responding and I hope that you are finding your way just fine! It certainly seems so.

Thank you so much for encouraging me. Is true, takes time to gain some experience in anything you start, even here, on MyLot, some people gain something, some not. And we all have something in common. Thank you again for the nice words. This place is a good opportunity to learn, no idea who is behind this system, but is an intelligent and complete one, I appreciate it.

Paranoid? Who's paranoid??? Me?? Where? I don' understand? Well I am happy to say though Bo that in spite of all the whacked out afflictions you may actually have, this syndrome is thankfully NOT one of them! I too have received a BR for a response that was never replied to but whatever..... At least they acknowledged SOMETHING! lol. It is when I see all but mine get replied to once in a while that the old brain starts wondering is all. Thanks for the response and seriously, is there paranoia? I didn't realize I was paranoid?? Surely I'm not paranoid? I can't be..... Shhhhhhhh, they can HEAR us.

They're in my HEAD now??? Oh my God..... I knew they had become more advanced. I just KNEW it. And Bo, I have always felt your insincerity so no harm no foul. Let's just keep playing the mylot game like good citizens and think no more of it.....

Ummm, I just make stuff up to answer your responses. I know how you are, and I just don't want you to feel left out.

I agree sarcos. It becomes prety clear over time if the same thing is happening repeatedly and in this case I just won't interact with them anymore! Thanks for the response.

Hi Tetchie! I too tend to get a little riled up when this happens and of course I then start wondering why this may be the case etc so thankfully it is not something that happens a lot otherwise I might go batty! LOL. Yes, you are definitely one of the more congenial members here and I was actually looking through my history here and you are one of those that I have been interacting with for the longest here on mylot so I would consider myself to be a good judge of character for you! Thanks for responding and be asured that you will always get a reply from me!

Why, thank you Master James.

3 months time frame on what planet Rose? How could I never respond to you anyways...... You have cake! (And before that it was brownies which is of course equally inspiring!)

I never even considered the Halloween factor mommyboo! I sometimes ask questions too but it doesn;t always work as you have stated yourself. Oh well. What does get me riled up though is when somebody posts a discussion regarding a topic that is new to me and I am eager to understand more; but when I ask more they just don't bother coming back. Now THAT can be frustrating! Personally I try very hard to make sure I do not get caught up in this stock standard answer cycle and I do try to be completely in context with my reply but it can definitely be a challenge at times! I have a core group of friends thankfully that make every effort and I in return so I am always grateful for this. I come to mylot as an escape from my daily work and to be able to lose myself in these exchanges is of great benefit to me. I do realize that time is a factor for many but my belief is simple really; ENGAGE people. If a person only wants to make a statement and then walk away then go publish an article or something! lol. Thanks for the response mommyboo.

Thanks for the BR, James! I need to get on passing some of those out lol. This thread turned out pretty interesting, didn't it?

It can definitely be tiring trying to keep on top of all our activity; especially when you don;t have notifications activated like myself. But so far I do seem to manage OK thankfully. Thanks for responding richiem and good day to you also!

I can assure you that it certainly isn't EVERYONE tismesara! I can honestly say that I have replied to every single response I have received over the last 6 months or so and as long as I am able to I will continue this way. I do appreciate that not everyone feels the same way though. And I agree with the middle response that spam can be an issues also. Thanks for your comments.

boy isnt that the truth!