Do you tend to make comparisons?

Deepak I do not see myself there. Hardly find myself comparing. It makes things easier for me and people around. I never judge people and I never compare two different people. We should never do that. How can two person be alike! In situations where there are people who need to be taught I try and give instances rather than comparing and pointing.

I agree that by knowingly or unknowingly we all are making comparisons. But if it is on a healthy way it won't make any harm. Comparison is going on in all levels. But I think kids are facing more problems with this. Parents are comparing their children with others and wanting them to do better or blaming them not performing/scoring like the neighbourhood/friend's kids. I think it is the worst thing. Instead of blaming them we can encourage them by telling that you can also score good marks (if it is the case of marks) by putting some additional efforts. I am sure this will inspire them to do better. No one is completely perfect so comparison will not give any advantage except we can rate them or analyze them whether she/he is good or bad. I think we have to try our best to understand the positive side of an individual instead of comparing with them others. If you compare anybody make sure that let the negative side won't disappoint you.

I don't believe that I do this consciously dpk but I am aware that I do it, yes. We come to certain expectations in life that are based on our direct experiences with people we associate with constantly. When we suddenly see a person of a similar standing act differently to what we know ourselves then we of course tend to compare the two in some way or another. As a child it would happen a lot when it comes to our Parents for example. Yiur friend may be allowed to go to a certain party or something but your own Parents say no. Your Parents won't buy you a BMX bike but your neighbor's Parents bought him one for his birthday etc. Instances like these ones will immediately spark off a comparison mentality. As we age it may transfer to Manager's or girlfriend's and so forth. And again, it may not be an outwardly conscious mindset but we all do it.

hi deepak, I believe that each person has his or her own good points and bad points. Nobody is perfect. Making a comparison is actually not a dignified act...but as you said knowingly or unknowingly we always do it. I think this mostly happens between married couples........as in one of your discussions we had discussed about grass on the other side looks more green.......lol....Also I think men do feel it more.....as they are always attracted towards other people's wife and always feel she is better than his wife.......(Ghar ki murgi daal barabar). Personally I think, even if we are doing such comparisons, we should not tell it to the person as it is going to hurt his/her feelings and can bring a big change in future.....feeling of dejection is very hurting and their is possibility that the person whom you deject today, may hate you even more in future.....as you know you reap what you sow, you get what you give.....besides I think only immature people will do such comparison of their loved ones, once you are matured , yo will know your loved ones are the best.......it may take time , but in the end your own people are your best ones. (apne toh apne hote hai.....), I think this much lecture is enough for today.......ha ha ha

[i]HI dpk, It happens to me but I will realize right away that it is not healthy and will try to stop it in my own. I will just make myself think and respect individual differences so I don't like to entertain my own thoughts![/i]

I compare all the time. I compare my wife to some of my brothers wifes. I compare my home to others home. I even compare myself to others. Scoiety teaches us to do this. You have got to be bigger, stronger, faster and smarter than everyone else. They tell you "look down the road, someone is worst of than you." And so you look and find that it is true and sometimes it's not. Maybe we should not make comparisons but we'er only human, so when you do remeber you may find what you'er looking for but most of the time you won't. That' what I've gotta deal with.

I honestly can say that I do not compare. Maybe it's because I've been at the recieveing end of lots of comparisons...and I don't appreciate it (even when it's on the positive side for me). I like to be known as an individual and the person that I am and I think everyone else feels the same way. So, I tend not to compare people. Even in my class, all 18 kids are very different...and I can't compare them. I generally avoid comparing...unless I have to compare for very obvious reasons (at school when the head asks me to do it).

i know i should not compare.it harms the personality of the indivual.but sometimes i do compare my kids with other kids.(in terms of their eating)

We are all the same and we are all different. We are all children of the same god, but every person is unique. Comparing people is wrong to begin with. Even our DNA is similar but different and unique for all of us. I am very happy to be different. We have learn from our society that we have to be and act the same. This is the biggest lie they sell in schools and churches. We have to celebrate our uniqueness. This is the only way to feel and be free. HUGS

[i]Hi dpk, As much as I don't like to, it happens to me several times but I am also glad that part of my mind will knock myself and made me realize not to continue the comparison because each individual is unique! LOL! But, it's just hard to perfect this in life all the time! ANyway, I don't make any conclusions after my realization but there are instances really that a new acquaintance and an old friend, I will compare them before accepting new friends as my close friends![/i]

Hello dpk. It depends on what situations I make some comparisons. But I think that it does not make much sense to compare since everyone has his or her own personalities. I love things and people as they are if they feel happy.

Hi , It is very rare that I make comparisons between persons known to me . However;I make the comparison on things that affect us and not too much on their intimate things .

Hello deepak! I never knew that you have already made a discussion about comparisons. Maybe you made it first before me. Honestly, I admit I do compare people but I tried my best not to voice it out because I really don't want to offend someone. I know how it feels to be compared and it's not a good feeling at all.

The habit of comparing is part and parcel of our life Dpk,and there is no escape for all of us from this habit.But since you are referring to comparison of people alone,I will limit my comments to that alone. Well I am broad minded when it comes to comparison and accept people for what they are ,since its not possible for any two persons to be identical in looks ,in habit,in behaviour etc. But I always end up favouring people who have a healthy and positive attitude towards life,and who always have a smile on their face and kind words on their lips.I tend to stay away from people who are always complaining,or telling faults of others,or behave nastily..... Infact I am of the opinion that comparison shold be made with a healthy attitude.Demeaning the weak or the disabled or the helpless because of their physical diaability or looking down on them,is a cruel thing to do...

Hi deepak hope u must be doing well well sorry for replying u late Well, i dont compare intentionally as i know no one is same and sure every one had positive and negative points so i try to focus on plus points. and f some time i compare unintentionally then i shrug and say Allah create every man differnt with differnt mindset and thinking so should not be compare This diversity is infacr beaty of World and human life Take care

Hi Dpk, I try really hard not to compare as everyone is so very different. Recently one of my daughters called my other daughter selfish as she only ever called when she wanted an answer, or to borrow something or to arrange a visit whereas she will just call any way and instead of agreeing I just said well she is a necessity caller you are a social caller, we are all different and she hadn't looked at it like that before so it calmed the situation. I think we are all guilty of comparing to a degree but I do acively try not too. Huggles. Ellie :D

Of course.I believe everyone would like to compare with others'.I like to compare the wage wiht my colleague.If we do the similar thing and get different earning,I will feel uncomfortable,especially she or he get more than me.And I will have some bad mood in working.But,I'll be well after days and work as usuall.If you live worse than others,you couldn't complain only.You should improve your energy and live better.I you only know how to complain,you will became worse and worse as the time goes on.

Comparing one person to another is an exercise in futility! No two persons are alike but all have good characteristics and bad ones. Your preference of one person over another depends on the qualities you value in a person. The older you get, the more you will learn to accept each person for their on value, and you will find that you are less likely to compare one to another.

I do consider making comparisons make different sense in different circumstances and situations. Due to the different growth circumstances and education background, how to make a convincing and correct conclusion between two persons? I only think you should compare with youself constanly from now to the coming days, whether you have made a futher improvment and progress on your subject or your carrier and so on, which is the criteria and final aim of comparsions.

I've found myself many times comparing my two little boys, the older is a very precoz kid and the younger is more into his own little world. I mentioned this comparison to their pediatritian because I was worried about the younger one not being as advanced as the older one and she told me not to compare them at all, that as long as they are healthy and growing in a healthy and safe environment the younger will actually catch up to his older brother. I learned a valuable lesson, not only was I comparing the two but I was also favoring the younger one most of the time because I felt as if he needed more attention, all while the older one started to feel that difference in my tretment towards them. Instead now I praise and pay more attention to the older one while doing my best to help the younger one and expose him to the same things his older brother has had. As any parent, I just want them both to have the exact same chances in life.