I'm really confused!
By craftcatcher
@craftcatcher (3699)
United States
October 16, 2008 4:35am CST
I'm still shaking my head wondering what happened tonight.
The guitar player for our new band, Randy, decided to get a couple of his friends, Seth (bass player) and Jeff (drummer) together to host a jam night on Wednesdays at a bar not far from where he lives. We decided it might be a good opportunity for our band to get a little stage time in front of an audience. So we packed our gear and drove up there.
Randy, Seth & Jeff did a couple songs to get the night started. After that Seth called up a guitar player... oooo really bad guitar player. He did 3 songs, and bless his heart he tried his best but except for us the poor guy didn't get any applause. Then a guy with an acoustic guitar got up, good guitar player, really bad singer! After 5 songs I was ready to shoot myself but we gave him polite applause and he got some enthusiastic applause from his friends at the table behind us, but that was about it.
Then it was our turn. So Randy, me and hubby Steve got on stage and we had to borrow Jeff since our drummer didn't show up. We played our first song... girls were up dancing at their tables... we got decent amount of applause. Second song we decided to ramp it up a notch and have some fun. So we played "Play That Funky Music White Boy". Wow! Lots of dancing... whistles.. applause...we rocked the house!
We quickly pick our next song and turned to Jeff to see if he knew it only to see Jeff's back as he is walking off the stage! We're standing there looking at each other going WTF!
So Randy finds Jeff and says, "What's up?". Jeff says, "This is supposed to be a jam, not a showcase for your personal band." Jeff stomps away. HUH!?! Uh... scuse me, this IS a jam, we ARE musicians, what's THE problem here.
Seth gets up on stage, moves MY mic to the back of the stage, puts on Randy's guitar without asking, Jeff gets behind the drums and another bass player gets up. Seth CRANKS up the PA (it's Randy's PA) so loud there was deafening feedback. Major musician no-no messing with someone's PA. Randy goes flying across the room trying to turn everything back down before they blow a speaker. Oh was Randy fuming mad.
So these guys proceed to play 6 songs in a row. It's bloody obvious they are NOT going to let us get back up there. I looked at Steve and said, let's go pack up our stuff. Amazingly the second we started packing up, they got off the stage and called up the acoustic player AGAIN, jeez it was painful enough the first time! So we said our polite goodbyes and left. Steve looked at me when we got in the car and said, "What the hell happened in there!?"
We got home 4 hours ago and I'm still trying to figure it out. I mean this was NOT a contest, just a jam night! The only other thing I can figure is BECAUSE of the crowd's reaction, did they get intimidated or think they'd lose the Wednesday gig to our band? That was definitely not our intention or even in our minds. We were just there to have some fun and get on stage. I ended up feeling like we were getting punished for being too good! I'm baffled. Any myLot psychologists available who can explain this to me?
6 people like this
17 responses
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
17 Oct 08
people hate seeing other people do good at what THEY want.. what is so stupid is some people dont want to even work to be good in the first place!! it was just jealousy since every one had done a couple of songs it wasnt like you went over the limit!! they are losers!! 
3 people like this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Hi Moon, ya I talked to Randy today and it all boiled down to Jeff thinks he's "rock God" and got his widdle feewings hurt because he couldn't keep up with us and we made him look bad. Like that was OUR fault! Being a "rock God" in a small Iowa town?... not much to brag about there! 
The reason Seth got all worked up was because he got kind of stuck... Jeff is his boss at work! I didn't know that before. He wasn't trying to be a jerk to us he was just trying to keep from ticking his boss off.
Oh well, we just won't be going to a jam night where Jeff's playing anymore.
Thanks hon, hugs!
The reason Seth got all worked up was because he got kind of stuck... Jeff is his boss at work! I didn't know that before. He wasn't trying to be a jerk to us he was just trying to keep from ticking his boss off.
Oh well, we just won't be going to a jam night where Jeff's playing anymore.
Thanks hon, hugs!1 person likes this
@II2aTee (2559)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Simply one word: jealousy. It's a powerful thing!
But hun let me tell you... I RARELY dance when I go out but if your band played Play that Funky Music while I was there, even I would have gotten up and got my groove thang on.
Keep doin what your doin sister
3 people like this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Thanks Tee sweety, I'd have pulled you up on stage to dance with me.
It was short lived but so much fun and the crowd was havin a ball.
Now that I've gotten some sleep I've decided I'm gonna look at the situation like this, we got the biggest compliment we could possibly get. We were the proverbial "tough act to follow"!!
It was short lived but so much fun and the crowd was havin a ball.
Now that I've gotten some sleep I've decided I'm gonna look at the situation like this, we got the biggest compliment we could possibly get. We were the proverbial "tough act to follow"!!2 people like this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Hi Lakota, it is funny but now that I've gotten some sleep and can think a little more clearly, I guess they couldn't have paid us a bigger compliment.
Thanks hon, hugs
Thanks hon, hugs1 person likes this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Thanks Y, I guess I know now why jealousy is called the green eyed monster.
1 person likes this
@ycanteye (778)
• United States
16 Oct 08
There is one guy in particular around here who plays guitar and his band used to do a jam and the only time he would call another guitar player up that he thought was a threat to him would be with a bunch of people he knew would make him look bad because they didn't know his stuff or if he had his own band with him this guy would just conveniently forget to call them up.
3 people like this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
16 Oct 08
It amazes me how petty some people can be. Musicians always seem to have huge but very fragile egos!
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Just another classic case of "The GOOD Guys always finish last" or in this case, get shoved out in the middle. It is just a shame that sort of thing happens, but yes, you were being punished for being too good. What was the matter with the crowd, though, who when they saw you leaving didn't say HEY don't let them leave, why don't those other guys leave?! They were probably baffled too. So sorry this sort of thing happened to you, but it is a story as old as time.
3 people like this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Thanks so much Ann. Actually the crowd did try to keep us up there. Jeff left because of the applause but when he walked off we were kind of stuck. So we started to leave the stage and the crowd kind made a collective disappointed "awww". I think that's what set Seth off.
My hubby Steve has been fired from bands before for being too good. He's got such an awesome singing voice he tends to unintentionally outshine people. Not good when someone else is the "leader" of the band and not as good a singer. But this is the first time it's happened to me and basically my entire band. Such petty immaturity. You're absolutely right, a story as old as time. I just hope that Randy didn't end up in a big wicked fight with those guys after we left. I'm sure I'll be getting a call later today and I'm sure a lot of 4 letter words will be involved!
2 people like this
@littleowl (7157)
•
16 Oct 08
Hi Craftcatcher-maybe seth knew this guitar player wasn't a good one and also the singer etc infact they all probably knew that you and your band were better than all of them put together and just didn't like the fact that you all showed them up and made the evening rock, Randy was embarrassed by this and wanted to be heard that is why he put the PA up, which inturn hade the roll on effect to make you and your hubby upset by the whole thing and made you leave...you are the better band and cannot help it if others are intimidated by you and until Jeff etc explain the true reason of why their reaction was as it was there is not much more you can do...hugs littleowl
2 people like this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
17 Oct 08
I talked to Randy this afternoon. He talked to Jeff after we left and basically told him he was jerk for the way he treated us and wanted to know why. He made all kinds of excuses but it turns out that, #1 Jeff thinks of himself as rock GOD because he's cute and has long blond hair and the 21 yr old girls hang all over him. Well, cute doesn't equal good. He got mad because he couldn't keep up with us and lost his "spotlight". We unintentionally and unknowingly gave him a huge slap to his ego and he threw a temper tantrum.
Also turns out that Seth WORKS FOR JEFF! I didn't know that. Seth felt bad about the whole thing but he had a hard choice to make. Back up Jeff and keep his job or back us up and tick off the boss. I don't blame him really. He had nothing against us personally. He just got upset at the whole situation and had way too many drinks.
I guess we won't be going back to jam night! Oh well, we can do fine without it.
Thanks hon, hugs :D
2 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
17 Oct 08
It does to me like they were jealous. Or possibly had a little bit to much to drink. My husband is a drummer. I know personnal how musicans have a habit of getting swelled heads. I am not sure what went on. But it sounds like you gained some fans that may turn up to your next gig. So, the joke was on someone else.
2 people like this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Hi Rusty, swelled heads and fragile egos does seem to be common traits among musicians. At least we got heard and hopefully they will remember us. So you're absolutely right the joke is on them. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@coffeeshot (3783)
• Australia
17 Oct 08
Uh yeah that's weird. Obviously I don't know the personalities of these other musicians but it's sounds to me like chicldish behaviour, very sore losers. You could have reciprocated and started an argument or a fight but you did the right thing by packing up and leaving. Let them have their little hissy fits and you continue on rocking with the guys in your band that you can trust.
2 people like this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Hi coffee! Yep that's exactly what we're going to do. We don't need that overblown ego type. It was just plain unnecessary and did nothing but make them look bad. Actually I came to the realization today that what Jeff did when he walked off stage was actually the best compliment he could have given us. Easier to walk off the stage than to say "You guys are too good for me, I can't keep up!" It gave me a little chuckle to think about that!
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
17 Oct 08
sounds like you guys got more attention then they usually do.
some people have fits over that.
either that or there's some jealousy going on about randy playing with you now from the other two.
i know people who would have turned down the stage hoggers in the board til they got off.
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Hi scarlet and thanks, Yep we unintentionally bruised some egos I think. I can't help but think that their reaction was actually the best compliment we could have gotten.
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
18 Oct 08
It sounds like there was some really bad jealously and that guy randy needs to grow up!You where the better band and he could not handle it. Oh what a poor sport. Does that mean that Randy is out of your band? I think with that behavior you should think long and hard to let him continue to play with you guys. He needs to grow up.
1 person likes this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
18 Oct 08
Hi tea, well you got the details a little mixed up but that's ok. Randy was great throughout the whole thing and is one of my best friends. He's definitely still in the band.
It was Jeff, the drummer who walked off the stage and acted like such a jerk. He never was in our band, we just borrowed him because our drummer didn't show up for the jam. I guarantee he will NEVER be in our band after that little stunt! I talked to Randy today and he said I'd rather cancel a gig then let him fill in on drums again! Jeff definitely needs to grow up. Thanks for stopping by hon!
1 person likes this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
20 Oct 08
No problem the story was confusing and I was a little shook up when I wrote it. It wasn't the easiest story to follow. Thanks again hon!
Thanks again hon!1 person likes this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
20 Oct 08
I guess I did miss that one by a mile sorry. I still think that JEFF needs to grow up. I had to the wrong name. SORRY to RANDY
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
17 Oct 08
craftcatcher,
I suppose you've seen what's virgin green envy and jealousy at full play is like right here.
Anyway, I think by now you would know where your band's position in the vast audience that you have there and that definitely does not have your egoistic Jeff's. So, I suggest that you get another place and jam the hell out of that ego maniac and rubbish loaded Jeff and party.
Some or rather most people, just take failure much too seriously that it becomes negativity. Eating right into their hearts and eventually that grey matter up there. And you wonder if they had one (brain) in the first place. They should have realized that they ought to take it into stride and work something out of it. I suppose the saying failure is the mother of all success, has certainly left their senses here. I can understand the egos, envy and all that negativity but I just don't appreciate and accept it when it gets over one's head. I mean, aren't we suppose to be civilized and logical beings? Can't we learn to accept failures sometimes and/or prepared to all the times?
However, I hope that you will remember that all artistes are individualistic and the saying One man's meat; is another man's poison here is very really and evident in this circle. They would not care about the crowd pulling thing when it is not too obvious but when they start to see a big shift, that will be the time to take a step back.
Please do not take it that I am trying to defend Jeff's action here. But I think as a guest (remembering your position here) I suppose you need to be ever tactful and play some mind games. Always acknowledge and introduce your host (never forget) to the house, play up their ego so that they will not do that ungracious act in their moment of folly and spur. Tell the crowd what a good drummer that Jeff had been, get a number and put the host on to jam together and etc.. I wonder if doing this might have a different end result. I think sometimes we just need to know our tact well and by our finger tips. It is always the nobler and the more gracious when one knows when's the time to take a little step backwards.
Have a nice day and let everyday be as promising as today.
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Hi sky! Your advice is very thoughtful and we always try to handle things with tact and polite behavior. We were all laughing and smiles and having a great time and then Jeff just walked off. We never knew there was a problem, it was a complete shock.
We are all in our 40's & 50's so we've been in the business for a long time. There are just some people you can't deal with no matter how hard you try. Their egos get way too big and they think their a "Rock God" which is exactly Jeff's case. He couldn't keep up with us and he blamed us for making him look bad.
This was just a jam night so not a big deal anyway. The crowd loved us and the other musicians enjoyed us so I'm not going to worry any more about Jeff's ego problem. We will never have to play with him again, thank goodness!
Thanks so much sky, have a great day!
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
16 Oct 08
Hi craftcatcher,
Maybe there some jealous and that is why they did that, your band was better. Why don't you all set a a night when it just band plying in that club, it will bring the house down.
Tamara
2 people like this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Hi tamara! Thanks so much! This was the very first time we've been on stage together as a band. We've been practicing at Randy's house but we've never played together to a crowd before. At least I know now that we play well together as a band and this just showed that we were good enough for other musicians to get jealous.
When we get enough songs ready to start playing gigs, I think we'll do just fine!
2 people like this
@commanderxo (1494)
• Canada
17 Oct 08
I wouldn't say that JEALOUSLY was the problem...sounds more like just plain old EMBARASSEMENT, to me.
Your band has talent as well as history, and sometimes other wannabees just can't handle the situation, when they know they're..."not as good". Being put in a position like that, and having to show "their (not so great) stuff", made you guys a tough act to follow.
Truthfully, you guys were too professional for the jam.
cdrxo
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Hi commanderxo and thanks. Embarrassment is definitely a better word to use in this situation than jealousy.
@soooobored (1184)
• United States
17 Oct 08
That's a shame... the only thing I can think of is that maybe the tone of the music you were playing was different? You said they liked that awful acoustic player, maybe they were looking for a more mellow set?
I can't imagine, but I'm sorry! I don't think their reaction speaks at all to your skills.
2 people like this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Hi bored.. actually the only people who liked the acoustic player was his friends sitting at the table behind us, and we were polite and applauded him, but everyone else unfortunately was laughing at him. This is a hard rock club. I talked to Randy and it turns out that Jeff is just a jerk, plain and simple. He couldn't keep up with us and it was like we burst his little "rock God" bubble. Then I found out that Seth works for Jeff, so he wasn't trying to be a jerk, he was trying to keep his job! Seth felt bad for us but got stuck in a bad situation. Oh well, we just won't go back for jam night. We'll be fine on our own.
Thanks hon!
2 people like this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
24 Oct 08
That's it, the other band was suppose to be the headliner but you were better and they got upset.It shouldn't matter but it obviously did to them.
1 person likes this
@jordan04n (463)
• United States
17 Oct 08
If ya not havin fun ...just leave and it sounds like that is just what they did!
