Down moments
By desireeo
@desireeo (595)
Philippines
October 19, 2008 10:37am CST
[b][/b]
today is one of my down moments. my husband and I had a fight and it's a serious one. we were supposed to go to his hometown today coz it's the town fiesta but i didn't go coz i didn't feel like it and i was sourgraping since last night that's why i was mean to him today. he wasn't nice too. well, i'm gonna spare you the details. it's just that there are a lot of things that are bothering me lately. i'm so bored and there's something i wanna do but i just can't put my finger to it. actually, i can't point out which is the first i should do. have you ever gotten to a point where you wanted more? i mean, not materially although that counts too. i mean, more from life and you wish you are more productive?
me and my husband fight constantly and every time we always decide to call it quits. well, i think i wanna try that for a while. i can really be b1tchy and my family always takes his side but they don't know what i'm really feeling. sometimes, my husband disregards my need for emotional support. he just don't get it no matter how much i explain it to him. what i mean by emotional support is that some breathing space from my boring routine. i spend all day at home and have a hard time getting away coz of my daughter. he just doesn't know how to appreciate that. while i don't have time to go out anymore, he would just wander off anytime he wants and that just pisses the he11 out of me.
while there are battles that i'm fighting inside of me besides our domestic problems, i want to breathe fresh air and get away from all of this for a while. i don't ever forget that i'm already marrried and that comes with responsibilities but like an engine, i need some tuning up too. i hope i'd be able to do that too or i'm going to feel like a zombie...
6 responses
@angel_of_charm (4134)
• Philippines
19 Oct 08
i hear you! i know what you mean when you feel like wanting for more..it actually pertains to freedom...yes i always had been wanting more in my life when i can do my own thing without worrying about tomorrow..i feel like i am a prisoner of my own life all the time...having all the obligations and responsibility on my shoulder makes me feel like screaming inside..
i want one day to come where in i'm able to do what i wanna do without worrying about others...
just now hubby and i just had an argument, but its not that serious...its about my family getting into my nerves so bad..financial issues keep on appearing as to never ending...
i wish i can be alone to spend time for my own...just to bring my life back even for a second because i know i really need a break from all this
@desireeo (595)
• Philippines
19 Oct 08
yes, that's exactly what i'm looking for, a break. I feel like I owe it to myself after evrything that I do all day. my husband thinks it's easy being a housewife, not having to worry about working all day but he doesn't have a clue that what I do is more than a full time job...I don't wanna limit myself to this. I don't want my life to go on passing until I'm old and have regrets coz I didn't do what I wanted to do...no way!
I hope we'd be able to taste a bit of freedom without any hesitaion or feeling of guilt. we deserve it.
@desireeo (595)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
awww, that's exactly what i'm feeling right now. you're right. i have got to have an income of some sort for myself. it's so hard depending all my needs to my husband. sometimes, his earnings are not enough but I can't complain about it...i am planning to apply for a call center and do some online jobs on the sideline. thanks for hearing me out and sharing your insights. i learn a lot.
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
I understand what you feel. Sometimes being a housewife can be stressful and sometimes we want to do the things we want but we simply cant do it. It is frustrating sometimes but you know marriage life is not easy. But no matter how hard the situation is at the end of the day you cant also spend a day without your husband and kid.
I think what you needed to do is find a job that will also divide your time between your duty inside the family and your obligation to yourself. It doesnt mean that because your married you dont have any right to dream big for yourself. Try talking about this with your husband so that he will also understand your situation. Avoid a heated discussion with him and explain to him what you feel and what are the things you want to do. You can still be a good mother and wife even if you are working. It is just a matter of time management. You will feel better when you feel that you can buy things you want without relying on your husband salary and at the same time you will do other things aside from being a housewife.
@desireeo (595)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
yes, a family will always be a family. my plans always include them and i always have their welfare at heart. what i want to do would benefit not only me but also them. i believe i can become a much better person if i will be able to explore and discover myself and take chances, whatever they might be...i look forward to spending money that comes from my own hardwork. it will be glorious and guilt-free...there are a lot of working moms who are having a good time working and managing family matters. i believe i can handle that too.
@relundad (2310)
• United States
19 Oct 08
I am sorry that you are having emotional troubles right now. I understand the wanting of something and not really being able to identify exactly what that is. Unfortunately you are the only person that has the answers and only a true hard look at yourself will be able to give you those answers. No matter what or how you try to explain to your husband, he doesn't hold the answers. Probally one of the reasons that you are frustrated with him is because he can't give you what you need, even though you don't know what it is.
Until you can get your thoughts together your relationship is going to suffer. Based on what you have said even if you are seperated from your husband your situation is not going to change. You will still have your daughter to deal with. Since you are a stay at home mom, it may help if you got some type of employment outside of the home that would give you the opportunity to deal with other adults and be productive. Your world would not seem so small. This may fill the voids that you fill. I know that for me it made the world of difference.
@desireeo (595)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
yes, thank you for your thoughts. i am so glad i posted this discussion. i never thought there are a lot of people here that could relate to this and you all seem so sincere with your responses. I am considering an employment. that's exactly what i need. i feel like i haven't really maximised my capacity as a person and as something else besides spending the whole time in the confines of our house. i have so many frustrations before and it's all catching up on me...i don't blame anyone or think somebody else is responsible other than myself. i can only be truly happy if i have fully explored all the possibilities that i think are out there for me without compromising my duties as a wife and mother.
@LilPixelle (828)
• United States
19 Oct 08
how about setting up one day a week or its a daddy daughter date so that he and your child get away, but he knows you are free to go do what you really want then too? so that you can do something new each week? or maybe getting a membership to a local club or community center or something you would like to get involved in? or are you talking more of a full around change of pace in your entire life?
@desireeo (595)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
i need a complete turn around but that doesn't mean i'm going to exempt them form my life...there are just some things that needs overhauling. i think my husband sometimes think he's exempted from daddy duties just cause he's providing for the family..he needs constant reminding and that relly gets me...
@kenchihi (121)
• Malaysia
20 Oct 08
I feel for you. My mother feels the exact same way as you. She feels that she's always at home, can't really go anywhere, can't be with her friends. What makes the matter worse is that we just moved into a new neighborhood, and she feels really really lonely. I just try my best to talk to her. As for my father, he's sometimes a little ignorant. He doesn't care much about feelings. He has a really conservative mentality which makes things really bad for me and my mother who are more liberal in thinking.
Its okay, go talk to him. I know its hard (I've been there with my father before), but talk more, don't always focus on the negative aspects of life, try to make joy in life. Think positive thoughts. If he goes a little grumpy, just ignore it. No point being pissed over nothing, right? I wish you all the best!
@desireeo (595)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
it's a really bad situation if a husband's mind is limited to the idea of a housewife being inside the house all the time. he has no idea how hard and suffocating that is. like a dog on a leash, it also needs to be walked out in the park or outside his normal environment...i have talked to my husband about it and i have also inquired about possible job openings. things are looking brighter from here. it doesn't mean i'm going to get what i want but my positive vibe is making me feel light and cheerful these days....thanks to all of you!
