So we finally broke up.....

LMAO!!! Literally. "Don't call the wench!" Classic. I needed that laugh today too. And you are right she did this all the time to make me the bad guy. Then she can tell all her friends how I threw her out and convince herself that I was so wrong. I have been doing a good (not great) job of not communicating with her at all. I am staying busy and waiting for things to come. I wish I could express it in my music it's just right now I have no studio (temporarily). Next month I am back on the music and we'll see what comes out. We are in pretty regular contact up here. You are one of many who has stuck by me through this roller coaster relationship. You gave me good advice and I want you also to know that you were a tremendous help for me. At a time when I had no one to reach out to the MyLot family was enough and you were, are a part of that. Thanks a million.

And I'd love to go with to The Netherlands, whether physically or just in spirit you know!

Well I check in regularly, don't always right but do check in. So if you need a boost up, even if it is of your ego just reach out - I will try to make sure I catch it. As for the music. While you are waiting to get back in the studio, write!

You are right though, and I cannot afford to behave like this. Screw her. I know what you told me long time ago to leave her alone and I didn't listen. I set myself up for hurt and I don't need or deserve that. I know I can do better but I love hard that the kind of guy I am. I knew she was up to no good. And I just caught her heading to dudes house!! I am much better off without her. Thank you for putting up with my blubbering anyway all these months you have helped tremendously.

Shamsta, I am really sorry that you have to go through this hurt. But you know some relationships are like that and sometimes we has to learn from our mistakes. My advice to you is not to blame yourself because you were loving her the best way you can and sometimes we as female run after something that looks like glimmer but turns out to be a flop. I remember when I was younger I was talking with this guy who I thought act too immature for me and now sometimes I wish I did stick to him because I know that he loves me and I would eventual love him if I did give him the chance. Now I am the one regretting my mistakes. At this moment she will not see the treasure she has before but further she will. I think in one of your discussion you said you have a child just continue to love this child and give him/her all the attention and love that she need. True Love is hard to find but I believe that when you do one should grasp it with open arms. Thanks for the best response and take care of yourself.

Another follower if my woe here. I am also sorry it came to this cause as you can see it's not what I wanted. I am going through some very mixed emotions right now. I know I don't need her to survive or anything, it just hurts a little she's gone. And she blames it on me! Says I threw her out!I want to be happy. I don't know where else to go with this. I don't think for all my sacrifice and loyalty, that she is ever going to change and I cannot continue to subject myself to the abuse. In the end I want her to see what I was doing for her and realize her mistake here but I don't want to go back to the same thing. We were planning on getting another place together as I have been staying with family since our last breakup, she moved in for two weeks and this happened. I am gong to get my own place again in a month probably and I know she'll love that. She is going to try to get back in with me. I don't know what I want to do, or will do cause right now I want her here even though I shouldn't. Thank you for sticking with me through this though. you have also helped me out a lot.

"...follower of my woe" Excuse the typo.

I remember about a month back, I was trying to tell you a story about a frog & a scorpion & the nature of things. Just a reminder, story goes something like this. / "There were a frog & a scorpion standing at one side of the raging river... Previous flood washed away all the food on the side they were staying so they need to cross the river to get to the other side... Scorpion turns to the frog & says, "you're an expert at swimming... Why don't you put me on your back & get us across...? Then I'll share all the food I find with you..." Frog says, "I can't do that... You will sting me on my back & kill us both..." Scorpion says, "I swear I won't... Why would I do such a thing that like you said, it would kill us both...?" Frog thinks about it for a second & decides to give it a go since he wouldn't be foolish enough to do such a thing... About a half way across the river, frog starts to feel this burning sensation on his back & realized scorpion indeed stung him on his back... As the frog starts to slip into unconsciousness, he turns to scorpion & says, "why did you sting me? Now we both are going to die..." Scorpion says, "I don't know what came over me... I just couldn't help it... It felt like a natural thing to do & next thing I know, I stung you... I'm sorry..." / I'll say this again. It's in her nature to do the things that she does & did. In most cases, you can't change someones nature. Take you for an example. Like I mentioned earlier, you're a better man than I am. I wouldn't have had as much of a patience like you have. You're an intelligent man, you know better. But you've decided to give it another shot at it despite some discouraging remarks by others. It's not about "I told you so!"s, but it's about good nature of your heart. You have decided to see the good in the situations & possible goods that could come out of the situation. You know why? Because it's in your nature to do so. That just goes to tell you type of person you are. Despite that, what does she do? She decides to walk all over you, instead of be thankful for having a man like you in her life. Sounds familiar? Who's the frog & who's the scorpion now? Despite your good nature, she decides to hurt you with her poison. Keep this up & she's gonna end up killing you, or at least your good nature. She's not worth it. Don't let her drag you down to her level, or even lower with her. Ever wonder why people call what doctors & lawyers do a practice? It seems a little unsettling when you depend your life in their hands & all they can call it is a "practice round"? Doesn't seem fair, does it? Point here is, I know you won't get back a single moment of all the time you wasted with her back. Even though your life at this very second seems like it's in shambles, write it off as one of the life lesson & consider it a "practice run". Sooner you put it behind you & learn from it, better off you'll be.

Sympathy card? Why would I ever? Please explain that one. What would be the benefit? You are absolutely right though and I don't believe you've been following my story all these months but you hit the nail on the head so to speak about her. She is miserable all the time! I know I can shine without her too it is just the matter of getting over the hurt, but it won't be too long I am expecting a big check in the mail soon.

Wow and thank you for that. I had been thinking about that sympathy card for days now wondering what you meant by that and if I should send her one. Maybe I will. It will also serve as my final act of this relationship and signify its ending. I miss her but in the end I know she isn't good for me anyway.

I know and we have been thru this before and I took her back. Somewhere in her delusional brain she thinks she took me back. When we split up the first time i stopped calling her after awhile and she called me wondering why. She said things would be different this time and when times got hard again she broke out. When we first met she was doing bad and I took her into my apartment and took care of her for a year. I never abandoned her like this. That's the kind of person I am. I was expecting the same in return but instead I got crapped on.

Its like she never appreciated anything I did for her. I have never met anyone more selfish. This has truly been the most stressful relationship I've been in. And the thing is I loved her the most.

I will not call her anymore. We have been here before and when I stopped calling she called me wondering why. I had to get busy and start a new job. Dove into my music and I was happy without her. Personally I thought it would be easy to break it off but I miss her already.

Oh yes you will miss her for a while but if you get yourself busy you will miss here a shorter amount of time it will seem

I know and I did it already. I have to make this one final I think. She didn't want to be with me. I see that and it's her loss.

Bottom line there was nothing left.

I don't beat myself up because I saw this coming. She had been doing all types of suspicious activities and just seemed like she didn't really care about me anyway. All of the signs were there. I should've cut her off first instead of trying to make things work.

I know this already too. I have already began that healing process and it took all of one day. I am not saying I'm not hurting over this but it was much easier this time than the last time we separated. This time she showed me how much of a liar she was and how trifling she could be. I never treated her wrong and I guess all she would respect is a guy that beat her or something. She is going out of town next week to visit her son in Colorado. Her baby daddy there too I wonder if she is planning on getting with him? I know I have to avoid thinking about these things but I am much stronger this time around and I am definently seeing things more clearly.

Its funny because I was adamant about staying single before I met her. I had been two years out of another bad relationship and vowed to stay single. Had fun too, but was often lonely. I met her and never planned on being with her like this but we hit it off on so many levels. It was the quickest I ever got with somebody and I thought it was because we were so right for each other. We still have so much in common. The biggest thing with her is her mouth. On a daily basis I know she will explode on me at least once for nothing. She can shrug it off though while I am left with this ill feeling for the rest of the day. And the things she has said to me have just gone too too far. (IE:I will slap that b*&%h! and she was talking about my mother!!!) That ain't even the half. I don't know where we stand right now but I think, given enough time I will forget about her. We have been here before and she called me three months later to get back with me. I was a fool for falling into that trap. But I was in love. I am in love.

AWW thanks for that. I wish I could hang out. I need to do something and the way the economy is right now we are all suffering financially. I am more or less stuck in the house while she is having a ball out in the streets. My only comfort is knowing that karma works in strange ways and everyone who has done me wrong has gotten their just rewards without me lifting a finger. She will realize what she gave up and then she will suffer. I will be okay.

And thank you for being there these past few months with me. As I said above the MyLot family helped me through a lot of this ordeal and I appreciate everyone who offered kind words and advice. If people who have never met me can see how good of a person I am, I know she is mistaken and has given up the best thing she ever had.

Cry? Not saying I am incapable but over her? I don't think so. I cried while I was with her it didn't do any good. You should read some of my last posts about her. Some folks here have been keeping up with me through this ordeal. I have been with her for a year and seven months. Its not forever but that is a lot of time to invest into one person and get sh!tted on in return. I am worth more than that and I know it. I am a good looking, intelligent, capable man and it is her loss not mine.

Weird right? She has been known to start arguments with me to hide alterior motives and I believe this was one of those instances. She complied way too easy as well. Then tries to flip it on me and say i threw her out. She told me she was going somewhere else told me she was coming to get something to sleep in and leave, because I had to go somewhere today (the next day). Quite as kept I told her I was going to visit my brother in Prison, how can you get mad at that?

Thank you for that advice. I am trying today to do just that (though I have talked to her today). The thing is she never learns as we have been here before. We broke up for three months and got back together before. She said she would change and hasn't. I spent so much time and effort trying to get her to be different and nothing worked. Nothing I did was good enough for her and I wonder if she even loved me at all considering how she just left.

And I have not and will not let her break my confidence down. I am a good person with high moral values. She is not going to bring me down into thinking otherwise. I treated her better than myself, took care of her daughter too. She doesn't deserve a guy like me.