The reason to be a mistress.

I am male. Married, happily and don't have a mistress. I do have a lot of female friends some of whom I flirt with, but that's all, quite outrageously. My wife's take on this, and she knows all about it, is that so long as its her that I come home to then she's OK. My view on men with mistresses in the context of someone who is a "spare" is that I don't like the idea at all. Unless you are openly living in a polygamous relationship I see it having all the signs of a disaster waiting to happen. The man gets his cake and eats it. The Mistress fools herself that she is being loved and adored. The wife is the Devil about to be incarnate. In the end there is going to be unhappiness for someone. I don't believe that the Mistress keeps the marriage together, she may very well do quite the reverse. If you are doing it please take care.

Wow, that IS old fashioned. LOL I was reading a book about the history of marriage, and it seems that your view is even more old fashioned than any I could ever imagine. In my view love is THE THING THAT MAKES A MARRIAGE!! if there is no love, no commitment, I don't want to be with the guy.

I have been on that side...and those are legitmate reasons to be a mistress....here are four reason's not to be....1.You are alone on holidays...missing the one whom you love. 2. You never have anyone to rely on. Basically you have to go it on your own even in emergencies....3. You don't have a date for important things like book signings etc.....Christmas parties...4. You don't ever feel the safeness of a relationships...you are not number one...so you must always be in the background and at any time he can and will be gone!

We are all different and looking for different things in a relationship as well as any other aspect of life. If that is good for you then go for it! Some women can handle it and some cannot. The only one who gets hurt is the one who is actually in the relationship for the long haul. Like the wife/husband.

These reasons may be valid. But there are probably more reasons why women become mistresses. They maybe in love with the man but it turns out that the man is married. The mistress may be an ex girlfriend of the man before he got married and since the woman loves him so much, she would be willing to be the mistress just as long as she doesnt lose him. Another reason would be for money. Some women become mistresses of rich men because these rich men give them all the money and material things they want.

Load of poppycock if you ask me, it broke apart my aunts marriage and that had QUITE an affect on her kids, and its not just her, you are COMPLETELY kidding yourself if you think it keeps a marriage togethor, a man needs to be devoted to his wife, and her to him, marriage is a oneness between to people and to bring a third person into the mix takes away that oneness because the 2 people who became one are now 2 again because of the mistress, and no matter what miss mistress wants to think, SOMEONE is going to end up sad. and it will probably be his wife once she discoveres she was cheated on, like P1ke said, it would probably have to be an openly polygamous relationship to work...and that alone could have an interesting psychological affect on any kids.

In this day and age, I would never be a mistress, and neither would I put up with a man of mine having one. If I am not enough for him, he needs to move on. Historically speaking, though, in the past, mistress was the way to go. If I had lived 100 or 200 years ago, I wouldn't marry. I have to say that marraige is what you make it. My marraige is not traditional. I do not view myself as a part of a two headed monster that is cyndi and mark. We are individuals. We are one, only in that our hearts mesh. Having said all that, each person needs to do what is right for them. Men who have mistresses have wives who look the other way. Hell, the wife probably has a tennis coach on the side. But if the wife is being betrayed and is actually blind sided by it, I wouldn't personally want to go there. It just seems to be bad karma. But I would think that a good mistress would not want to hurt the wife. I think someone who knew what she was doing would choose a man whose wife would look the other way. They are a bit frazzled but they are my thoughts. LOL. See if you can put them together.

I think if I was single and didn't want to be involved with anyone it would be a pretty safe option but...I could never do that to another woman. She doesn't deserve a cheating husband, no woman does. So on those grounds I don't think I would ever be a mistress.

hi sarahruthbeth that's such a copout. I was married to the man I loved and he was with me because he wanted to be, we were both in love and in like also,wewere best friends. a mistress might want to think that he is there because he wants to, and he doesnt want to be with his wife, well news for you, he will go back to his wife anyway.What do I think ? I think women who want to be mistresses are homewreckers and should be dammned ashamed of themselves. For one thing the guys that fall for the mistresses have some f atal flaw that makes them betray their marriage. a lotof guys do not have this and they are very happy with their wife and in love with her too. I also think mistresses are living on the crumbs as hewill always go back to his comfort zone, I do p;ity his poor wife though. I never felt owned, I felt a partner, we were partners in love and in like too.

I don't get married , but I oppose to be a mistress . Once a woman become a mistress which mean she will unhook from a society . as a woman , she should have her own life except her boyfriend or husband .Work and friends can make a woman's life more wonderful.

Wow, now here's a topic certainly worth the discussion. I am not sure I want to be a mistress. I have never dated a married man before. I haven't even considered it. Although, lately, given my current situation I have wanted to. I think for me morally it would be hard. I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the middle of someones situation. Nor do I want to be a person that broke up a happy home. If I want my own relationship how can I be open to this if I am involved with someone who has someone? I mean, I can see that this might have some good points to it, but I'm not sure that it's the right points. This is definitely a good one. I need to go back and read the other responses. I need some enlightenment. LOL...