Will you stay married for the sake of your children?

Why torture yourself putting up with a man you are unhappy staying with. If you are unhappy the children would not be happy too seeing their mother always in an unhappy mood. Life is too short to live in darkness, the moment you step out of an unhappy marriage there you'll find your oyester of happiness with someone who you are compatible with, who can give you the bright side of life. It is unfair on yourself to stay put for the sake of the children. Leaving your present condition does not deprive the children of their happiness. They will equally feel happy if they have a happy mother to look after them rather then staying in a state of unhappiness.

Ah, always a good and intriguing question. When I found myself in this situation (actually my hubby was unhappy because he had met my cousin), I decided for counseling. And so did he. Still didn't work for us but that doesn't mean it won't for others.

Although I've been happily married for 38 years and my children are now 30+ years old, I still feel qualified to answer this question, as I'm a child of divorced parents! I'd never have stayed in a bad marriage just for the children's sake. It would have caused them problems and given them a false view of what marriage should be. My sisters and I hated our parents argueing and we weren't stupid, we knew Mum's bruises didn't come from an open cupboard door or a fall down the stairs. The important thing for us was realising that both loved us but no longer loved each other. Both remarried and had long and happy marriages and further children and it was their second marriages that showed us what a 'good' marriage is! We've all been lucky and found the right man first time round, but no marriage is without some problems, it's when those problems can't be fixed that you have to decide what is best for all parties. Staying together isn't always the best thing for the children and in the long term can do more harm than good. Instead of having two unhappy people you could end up with five!

I would consider marriage counseling, however it woul not be for the sake of our children, that is no reason for anyone to stay in an unhappy, troubled marriage. If it can be fixed, then yes try and try to fix it. I would rather be a child of divorced HAPPY parents than a child with married parents that fight all the time and are miserable. Just my opinion on the matter.

i don't think staying together would solve the problem. if i am no longer happy with my partner, then it's time to move on. if i would be thinking of my kids' sake, i can always be friends with my husband. maybe we'd be better off as friends.

Staying married for the sake of the children does not work. Prior to getting divorced my husband and I lived in the same house, separate rooms. It didn't work. He wanted to boss me around and treat me like one of the kids. He finally left and we got divorced. The kids can sense the tension.

No, I wouldn't stay together for the sake of the children because that's a feeble excuse for hanging on! The children would sense that all wasn't right and it would have a detrimental effect on their growing. So, I would perhaps seek counselling first and if that didn't work, I would divorce. There's no point in prolonging the agony for the "sake of the children". They wouldn't appreciate an insecure upbringing at all in later life. Brightest Blessings.

If I am not happy with the man I am married to, I would not consider divorce as the first choice. I would first talk to him and to sort out what are the things that made drift apart. If that doesn't work, I would initiate for a counseling session so that we could seek for professional help. I believe that after some consultation, we can bring about our differences and sort out a way to overcome the difficulties. I know my husband quite well, and I know he listens more to others. Especially if I bring him to a specialist. He will be embarrassed if the consultant tell him to change, and he will follow almost immediately. I think this has something to do with egoistic. Which, every man has it, isn't it? If I have children, the more I have to think before deciding for a divorce. There will be many changes when a divorce takes place. Children, in the first place is broken spritually, emotionally and somewhat physically.

i am now single for seven years and i tagged my kids along. i tried to work it out with my husband but i think up to there only that i can. i would love to stay for my children but my body and mind can no longer go for more. so i decided to run away and never come back. he does not know where we are and he doesnt mean to care. it is not easy to say that you can stay for the children's sake specially if the husband is very abusive.

In this case, I would go for counselling, instead of separation. I believe that sometimes some misunderstandings between couples disrupt the atmoshphere and counselling is one of the best options. Divorce or separation is no solution, it will further aggrevate the sitution. Children play a very important part, in binding a couple together, sometimes one stays in a marriage for the sake of marriage, if I land in a difficult situation, I would prefer staying in the marriage for the sake of my kids.

Nope I wont stay just because of the children, I will just keep my marriage if me and my wife are happy, but if one of us falls out of love I rather not stay anymore. It's to hard when your leaving in one roof without love at all. The chilren is important yes,but someday somehow they will make their own life and will settle down. So I rather go for separate lives. Anyway the love for our chilren and our obligations and responsibiliyy will still be their even were miles away for each other. Have a nice day!

well yes i will if was in a state like that.... afterall children are your whole life

i would still consider on saving the relationship first...counselling would be considered...i think if we really love each other before the marriage then, i think there's a remedy to that...but if we have gone through that stage of saving the relationship and it doesn't work out then i think we better have to separate...and explain to our children why it happened that way...but i would assure that our kids are all okay and doesn't affect them deeply, that they do understand why those things happen...but as i've said, if there's a way to save it, i would do that first... happy mylotting! have a nice day! God bless!

I'm not married right now nor do I have kids but I have to say that if I did, then no I wouldn't stay married just because of them. I would love them with all of my heart but I think that they would deserve a happy environment and if me and my husband weren't getting along, then they would pick up on that and maybe learn bad habits from it. My mom stayed with my dad for that reason, or at least that is what she told me and my sister. And I have to admit that it is nice to have both of our parents there, but really we wouldn't have cared either way. We just wanted them to be happy. I love my mom and I would just want her to be happy no matter what. I would support her in what she does, and I think that my kids would feel the same way when I have them.

Fortunately, I don't think I will ever be put to a situation where I have to think about this at all. I have a very loving husband and I know I'm one of the blessed few. Anyway, I don't think having kids is enough a reason to stay in marriage. Deceiving your children would only make matters worse. As long as you know that there is still love in your heart for your partner and that it would make you happier if your marriage will work, then I think you should give it (marriage) another chance. If you decide otherwise, I think it's best that you let the kids know about your decision as well. Ang make sure that it is clear to them that.