It's hard being a mother... and living with in-laws... and demanding man

I know it is difficult for you living in a small room with your husband and your children. And on top of that you have the grandmother there. But keep focusing on the one major important thing. You are living somewhere for free with free groceries. If I were you you should be saving all of your money or the amount that a mortgage payment and groceries would be and put that in a bank where it can earn interest. Then, once you have saved enough money go ahead and get a place of your own. I understand how frustrated you are. I am American, but my husband is from South America. Men are more old fashioned that come from Latin countries and cultures. He always expects a hot meal when he comes home from work, the laundry to be done, and the house to be clean. For 17 years we had my mother live with us. So, my husband and I both worked full time, my mother stayed with us for free and we bought her everything and we have 4 children too. She would always say what was on her mind about what I was doing wrong with the kids, and everything. She would always get in my kitchen when I came home from work, etc. It was very uncomfortable. Anyways, she is elderly and has many problems and had to go live in a home where she could be taken care of on a constant basis. So, now I have my house back to myself. It does make a difference when there is not another woman there bossing you around. It is less stressful. Just hang in there, your situation will not be forever. Have a great day and happy myLotting!!!

Apart from when I was a kid living with my parents I have always lived alone, I guess i have never liked the fight and bickering that goes on between flat mates over silly things so I think if i was married i just would not ne able to cope living with family especially in one room, and if you have a demanding husband, i think you are wonderful to be able to put up with that at all, i think you are wonderful, I hope thing work out for the better for you in the future.

It is hard being a parent, regardless of which country you live in but possibly harder for you with the cultural situation where "women serve their man". That is not the situation here in Australia and I used to do as much parenting of our daughters as their mother did. Whe we married, we never lived with either her or family or mine but instead had our own place although her parents bought a house 2 doors down from ours and in the same street. That did present a bit of a problem initially as her mother would tell my ex-wife how to bring up our children but we eventually sorted it out. Then my ex-wife decided she wanted to return to work. My mother-in-law was most upset at this and only criticised me for the decision so my mother offered to mind my daughters to save us money. She was great and my ex-wife appreciated the fact that the girls were taken to and from school, to their after school activities, the washing was done as was the housework and meals cooked. It did make our life much easier and I was able to spend time with the girls instead of helping do things in the home. My partner is very much the same in that she cannot do it all on her own and when my daughters came to live with us for a couple of years, she expected me to still do my share of the work plus spend time with the girls. So there are advantages in living with someone else and therefore keeping your cost of living down. The downside is that you are sharing space with others, but you don't have a large area for yourself, husband and baby. Children do fall, they will have accidents and that is part and parcel of them living and growing up in this world. Also remember that generally mothers-in-law do not think that their child's partner can do things as well as they (mil) did. Even my mother was that was about some things to do with my ex-wife. Good luck and I hope that you husband will see the need for him to do some things around the home as well when you eventually get into your own place.

I saw this post and was wondering how things are going now. Your child is older and hopefully things have calmed down a bit. Are you still living with your husband's grandmother?

yes, you're not superwoman. pehpot already holds that title. so you're supergirl. and mike? mike is superman. he has three jobs, goes to the gym, and plays dota all in 24 hours. imagine. you're a pair, really. no wonder you're still together after 8 years :D anyway, i know how you feel. the first month after svet was born, we were living with paul's mom and it was soo..augh. her mom's an angel, don't get me wrong. sweetest mom on earth. but i can't breathe in there. i can't move freely. it's different when you live in your own house. you get to do ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING that you want. and nobody will tell you off for it. at the rate you're going right now, you will be able to save enough for a down payment pretty soon. *grins* don't worry. you'll get there. WE will get there.

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. Not only are you over working yourself, I bet you're even trying to make things look easy so that your husband or your mother in law wouldn't pick on you more than they already do. I am however thankful that you're sharing your experience. There was another discussion on myLot that asked what age is it good to marry. Then I answered that aside from psychological maturity (normally seen in someone's age), financial stability is also important (not normally seen in a person's age - someone can be older than the other but is still not making enough for a family). I do believe that it's generally easier for husbands and wives to live apart from their inlaws so that no additional stress would be felt between each other (raising a family and earning a living is already enough stress). I'm not yet married - TOO YOUNG! And I think that it would be a LONG time before I am. I'd rather be financially stable for myself first, I think that I'm earning enough for me, but not enough to support a family - not even HALF a family! Thanks for the response on my discussion!