Best time to have a second child?
By vikkiadam
@vikkiadam (59)
October 27, 2008 4:52pm CST
What do you fellow mylotters think the best time to have a second child is? My son turned 3 recently and we are talking about trying for another baby. My son would be 4 by the time next little one is born assuming everything goes to plan in next couple of months. Do you think this is a good age for him to become a big brother? We don't want him to get too jealous as it has only really been me and him through the day whilst my partner is at work. I think he'd adapt really well to the whole thing. He keeps telling everyone there is a seed in mummy's tummy. I don't know where he got that from but trying to explain to him that there isn't yet is difficult lol. Anyway i'm, going a bit off track here, what age was your little one when 2nd bub came along? How did they cope?
3 responses
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
27 Oct 08
There is 4 years each between my three children and it seemed to me that that was a very good gap. From observing other people's children, it seems that the ideal gaps would be either between one and two years or four years or more. My brother and I are three years apart and were often at each other's throats.
I think that, perhaps, the age of three is a quite critical one for a child. They are just beginning to learn that they are no longer a baby and are a person and a member of a family. When a new baby arrives, they find that the values that they are just trying to work out are completely upset by the new arrival.
From about four onwards they have established their position in the family and are also beginning to make real friends, perhaps at pre-school or kindergarten, outside the family so the arrival of a baby becomes a matter of pride for them rather than a challenge to their position.
@vikkiadam (59)
•
27 Oct 08
Thanks for your response owlwings. Your opinions make perfect sense. Seems like a perfect time to start trying =)
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
28 Oct 08
I wish you a very happy family. As Sunshine says, every child is different (why would they not be? LOL) and every parent is different. It sounds to me as if, now that you are thinking of another child, now is a good time to choose. A family is the most natural thing in the world and, rather than worry about exactly the right age difference (as I'm sure you don't), 'when it happens' is as good a time as any - provided that there is an atmosphere of love in the home.
It's quite easy to be wise after the event and say 'here is a happy family - the children must be ideally spaced' when what almost certainly matters more (but one tends to overlook it) is the home environment!
@vikkiadam (59)
•
28 Oct 08
Lol yeah i completely agree with you. As long as both kids are happy and healthy there is no time lioke the present. Thanks for your advice and comments.
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
28 Oct 08
I think that everyone has a different perspective when it comes to having their second child. I had my second child when my first was 3 yrs old and it was a great age span. My 3 yr old was old enough to know to be gentle with the baby. I always told my kids that God put a seed in my belly to grow a baby, so I think that is cute that your son says that.
Your son is going to be a great help with the new baby. Just make sure to involve him in all the activities with the new baby so jealousy doesn't appear.
