Why so complicated?

You should really work on "contentment".That might be what is keeping you from appreciating what you have. I am very happy with what I have which is, work which does not pay me until my plants bear fruit. I live far from my family and we communicate through text messages and phone calls.

yes I am like this too although it is usually when I go to bed I start thinking and dwell on things, but lately I am a little bit better as I have lost so many friends who have passed away and now that i have no family either, I think sometimes it takes losing special people in our lives that sends a wakeup to start appreciating what we do have while we have it, and to be really thankful and enjoy...

Are you experiencing this every time you are sitting alone? If this is your situation, I think you might be having depression. Or is it only when your menstrual is approaching. If it only happens when your menstrual is approaching, it is what we call the premenstrual syndrome. I also feel like this and I thought I am going crazy. But I went to seek for medical advice and the doctor diagnosed that I am having depression. He gave me a type of medication to eat so that I would feel calm and relaxed. The name of the medicine is Prozac Fluoxetine 20 mg. It is an anti-depressant pill. What about you go and seek for medical advice too? I feel your situation can be cured, and you will be able to feel happy again. Depression will make us feel sad, frustrated, regret, and all the negative things. After eating the pill for a year, you will notice a great difference, (that's what my doctor told me) but I can't tell it really works for me.

aconner, I marvel that you are turning away so soon from Him who called you in the grace of Christ, to a different gospel. —Galatians 1:6 I love the prayer that begins, “God be in my head.” When I first heard it, admittedly I thought it sounded a little weird. But then I got to thinking how unfortunate it is if in our efforts to get closer to Jesus we focus on our emotional experience of Him and check our brains at the door. Without His truth ringing in our heads, we’re bound to get off track. Just look at the early Christians. False teachers filled their heads with misinformation, saying that salvation and spiritual growth could be attained only through keeping the requirements of the law. When Paul heard of it, he was astonished at how quickly they had gotten off track: “I marvel that you are turning away so soon from Him who called you in the grace of Christ” (Gal. 1:6). It’s not just false teachers who lead us astray. Our world is full of twisted thinking like, “If it feels good, do it,” or “The one with the most toys wins.” Let’s face it, you and I can’t afford to check our brains at the door. In fact, intimacy with Jesus begins with getting to know Him, and it’s the facts about Him that make us want to get close to Him. God be in my head, and in my understanding; God be in my eyes, and in my looking; God be in my mouth, and in my speaking; God be in my heart, and in my thinking. —Sarum Primer To stay on track, let God guide your thinking.