what will be your reaction if you found out that your college child failed
By robert19ph
@robert19ph (4577)
Philippines
October 28, 2008 4:07am CST
hello fellow lotters,
My eldest son is in first year college and taking up Nursing. He just got his grades and luckily he was able to passed all his subjects.
What bothers me is my nephew who is also in first year and taking up Nursing too. My son was the one who got his grades for he went home already to spend his sem break with his family. He got four subjects that failed, all his majors.
Felt so sorry for him. All his efforts, time and money were wasted. His parents can't got angry to him. 
It's his first time to go away with his family for he studied his elementary and high school with them. And now that he's in college he is living with my sister near our house. All of us was affected most especially my sister for she's the one living with him. He was adviced to shift course but can't take any related medical course anymore if he intend to study in the same school or transfer to other school and can still continue his course. Whatever his decision, we are all supporting him.
How about you? What will be your reaction? Thank you for sharing.
What bothers me is my nephew who is also in first year and taking up Nursing too. My son was the one who got his grades for he went home already to spend his sem break with his family. He got four subjects that failed, all his majors. Felt so sorry for him. All his efforts, time and money were wasted. His parents can't got angry to him. It's his first time to go away with his family for he studied his elementary and high school with them. And now that he's in college he is living with my sister near our house. All of us was affected most especially my sister for she's the one living with him. He was adviced to shift course but can't take any related medical course anymore if he intend to study in the same school or transfer to other school and can still continue his course. Whatever his decision, we are all supporting him.
How about you? What will be your reaction? Thank you for sharing.3 people like this
13 responses
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
28 Oct 08
Hi robert19ph,
There is nothing you can do but support him and be there for him wether he pass of fail, he is suffering as it is, yes if my child had fail I would be there for him no matter what and keep encoraging him and let him sit for a again.
Tamara
2 people like this
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
29 Oct 08
[i]Hello tamarafireheart,
Yes, we are encouraging to go on. He made some mistake and I hope he can correct it. We just need to help him and see what area in his I could help.
Regards.[/i] 
@gracetreyes (529)
• Philippines
28 Oct 08
you can talk to your nephew first so that you can hear his side. Then maybe if he needs some help, telling it to his parents, you can accompany him.Some are not just meant for the course, maybe it is not the course for him. He should know what He really likes to be successful in his college life and of course after His graduation.
Be kind enough to understand. College really is entirely different from our High school and elementary days.
2 people like this
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
29 Oct 08
Hello gracetreyes,
Yes, I think that's the best thing I could do right now is to talk to him and understand his problem. I think he might have some reservations on this course and whatever he decide to take, we should support him.
Regards.
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
3 Nov 08
As a parent, I would definitely be disheartened that my child failed but my first instinct would be worry and to find out why he/she failed and not anger. There could be a lot of reasons why the child failed and one major factor could be some separation anxiety from his parents and all that is familiar to the child. I agree that support should be given and if I am the parents, I would work with my child and may even move with him/her for a while so ensure that he/she is adjusting well.
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
3 Nov 08
[i]Hello cdparazo,
That's a very good advise. I think regular support and visit of the parent is advisable. Parents should no what's happening and ask their children right questions and advise for the sake of their children. My Mom also joke about me with her friends when I am college and go visit them. When her friend asked when I will graduate she just casually said she don't know when I will graduate. I think I know deep in her heart that she knows how her children will do. Ever since when we are in grade school and high school she gets feedback from our teacher and she tells us what she have learned.
Regards.[/i]
@anex08 (868)
• Philippines
17 Mar 09
Il get angry for sure, life is becoming more harder these days and we can't waste such money and time for granted. But understanding comes very soon, support also follows then advise and thorough planning which is really the one that suits one's person ability of learning and passing...
Goodluck to your nephew...
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
17 Mar 09
[i]Hello anex08,
Thanks, for your response. Yeap, it is very natural to get angry. The good thing is he still can comeback. The subjects he passed are still accepted on his new schools and he just have to take it again the subjects he failed. For sure he will be very busy this summer. I hope he does well this second semester on his new school.
Regard.[/i]
@mjmlagat (3170)
• Philippines
3 Nov 08
Hello there. I'm sorry to hear about your nephew's predicaments. I'm also a mom of two teens and for sure it would break my heart if I were in the place of that kid's mom. It might be that the course was not really his interest? I'm not sure though or he just find those subjects difficult. To take up nursing course it's not at all easy especially these days when the standard for the course is pretty high. I guess it would be better if you ask for your nephew's view on the situation for your family to assess what's better for him.
1 person likes this
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
3 Nov 08
[i]Hello mjmlagat,
You are right that the nursing course is getting tough with so many graduate now. We are still hoping that with her uncle and aunties working abroad can help him get a decent job as a nurse but first he has to finish and pass the board. He decided to continue taking nursing but on a different school. Hopefully he have made some adjustment already and we will continue to help him.
Regards.[/i]
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
16 Mar 09
The best thing to do in this situation is be supportive. That is if you know he's tried his best. Sometimes people are meant to do different things. They can do greater things by changing their field of study. Sounds like he just needs to find is place in the world.
1 person likes this
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
16 Mar 09
[i]Hello JenInTN,
Yes, you are right that he needs support and some times to think about it. I agree with you that he was in the wrong place at the same time. For now, he stills continue with his studies and he did not change course and he feels more comfortable with his new schools.
Regards.[/i]
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
1 Nov 08
I would suggest him to change subjects if he persists in failing than i would advise him to do whatever he feels like doing, what he does he feel that he is capable of doing in life. AS long as he is happy in life it would not bother me that he failed in college. © ronaldinu 2008
1 person likes this
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
3 Nov 08
[i]Hello ronaldinu,
He decided to continue his course and we are moving him to another school. It's a bit tough on his first school where the standards is high and they have quota for the number of student they will accept which is only 1000 students for second year. They accepted 1700 first year students and 700 of this will be cutoff next year and have to go to other school. I hope he'll make better on his new school, as long as he study and learn his lesson he will be fine.
Regards.[/i]
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
4 Nov 08
I really think some kids are pushed to college way too soon. Your nephew sounds as if he were one of those kids. My nephew was a very, very intelligent kid...college material for sure. He was also an extremely good athelete. My brother pushed him into college. It was there that he began to fail. My brother went nuts trying to get this kid more involved etc. I really think that what the kid needed was a break to decide what it was he really wanted. he stumbled barely thru his freshman year and dropped out. My brother was devastated becuz of all the money he'd invested. I have no doubt that my nephew will go back to school when he is ready. Now a days the kids are pushed so much in school and from very early ages that they never have time to experience life itself. heck some of them start structured settings at age 3. by the time they are 18 and have the freedom for once to choose for themselves, I think that they are really grown tired of the acedemics. it's all overkill. Even kindergarten kids get homework now.
1 person likes this
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
3 Nov 08
I think I would support him in changing his major. I would also wonder how he wouldn't have known he was failing. At least if he knew before hand he could have talked with professors for help, look into other ways of getting help. Maybe even having a study session with your son.
I changed my major because I wasn't happy in my first one. Since I wasn't happy I wasn't applying myself which is always bad because I ended up failing a few classes, and a few I just didn't go to.
@magojordan (3252)
• Philippines
29 Oct 08
I think you should ask him what does he really want to take up in college. Nursing is being taken up by students since it promises a better future. Unfortunately some people are just being forced to take this up because it might be their parents wish, or they still don't know what to take up. Maybe if your nephew could find a course where he will enjoy studying. You will not worry anymore about his grade and even his future because he might excel form his new course and become succesful in the future. 
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
29 Oct 08
[i]Hello magojordan,
Yes, we have asked him and convince him actually and he said yes before and so he takes up the nursing course. Now, whatever he decide we will be just support him and help him in his studies.
Regards.[/i]
@msedge (4011)
• United States
6 Mar 09
I would feel sad for him and for the parents as well who is trying to support him to succeed whatever he wants to be.But everything happened for a reason.Maybe there is a better course for him or a better way to achieve his dreams.It's not yet the end of the world.He still young and there are many ways he can do to reach whatever dream he has.Just keep supporting him!
1 person likes this
@geminipunk (573)
• India
29 Oct 08
WEll to be frank. I resemble alot to your nephew. I also failed my major subs for a year and that was all i got take. My 1st year in college and i failed. It was hard on me. really bad on me. No one around .aLL around. FRiedns turing away. parents shouting at me and stuff like that. later i changed my course and then i di dsomething better and now its like really paid off. Well what i wanted 2 say is that at a situtation like that you need 2 supoort , comfrort ur nephew and make him udnerstand his mistakes in the love lanuage. If done harshly can affect his mind and evenm alot of relationship and that is bad . Well anyways happy mylotting buddy :)
1 person likes this
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
3 Nov 08
[i]Hello geminipunk,
I am glad you were able to endure those trying years in your life. My nephew got all the support he needs in his trying days. The school dean give him advise and praise her mom who did not scold him at that time. He was given all option he need and what he need to do to go further his studies. I hope he will recover this semester.
Regards.[/i]
@felher08 (195)
• Philippines
30 Oct 08
Well, we have some kind similar experience. I have a daughter who finished her Med Tech Course for four years and was able to graduate. However, she failed her board exam. My expectation of her studies was a failure and the whole family was affected,including her younger sisters and brothers. But, anyway we have to accept the fact, and whatever was her decision we still support her.
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
3 Nov 08
[i]Hello felher08,
I think that's a normal feeling for parents but it's not the end of the world yet for your daughter. She can still try to take the board exam. Giving her support and encouragement I think will help get her courage to try it again.
Regards.[/i]
