Does this make sense to you?
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85146)
Shingle Springs, California
October 29, 2008 11:56am CST
This time is was Dr. Phil's Monday show, about a relationship where the husband had had an affair. You can read about it here if you like:
http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/1155
But what caught my attention was the wife. She's having problems trusting, so she's calling her husband a lot and making sure he's where he's supposed to be. And yet Dr. Phil made the comment that she had mentally "checked out of the marriage" and she agreed. Well it just seems to me that if she had checked out of the marriage, she wouldn't be calling him because she wouldn't care any more. So that just didn't make sense to me.
What do you think?
2 people like this
6 responses
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
29 Oct 08
I think that Dr Phil is saying that she has checked out of the marriage because marriage is based on trusting one another. Maybe by her calling all the time shows that she has no trust in him anymore~ and she certainly has good reason. Instead of her focusing on rebuilding her marriage, she is making him feel guilty everytime she is calling him.
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
29 Oct 08
I agree I think checking out of the marriage would not trusting him and making him feel guilty. I understand worrying about him having an affair once more, but the trust needs to be there in order to overcome that and when you check out of a marriage, you quit working on it and developing that trust once more.
2 people like this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
29 Oct 08
Oh I agree. If she wants to be in the marriage, then calling him all the time doesn't send him that message. I don't think she doesn't want to be in the marriage, but I think Dr Phil is saying she has to build that ability to trust him again before she can be in that marriage.
2 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
29 Oct 08
I have to agree with you there. If she didn't care why would she bother calling him all the time? I know I surely would not care enough to check up on him. I would do my own thing and get a divorce. But once someone cheats it is really hard to be able to trust them again.
2 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
29 Oct 08
Oh I understand that. But it doesn't sound the woman you are talking about has done that.
2 people like this
@misskit (289)
• United States
29 Oct 08
It doesn't make much sense to me either. If you check out of a marriage you just don't care anymore so why would you even care where he was? I watch Dr. Phil once in a great while, sometimes he has some good insight on things, but some times I think he is way off base with what he says and suggests.
2 people like this
@workathomewife (75)
• Germany
31 Oct 08
I completely agree. Trust is a hard thing. I found a quote once that said "Trust is like a mirror, once broken, you can never look at it the same way". If I was in the same position as her, I don't know what I would do, but I certainly don't blame her. Dr. Phil seems to pull things outta his bum a lot though. :)
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Oct 08
lol I don't watch him that much, but I'm sure if were practicing therapy he'd handle it somewhat differently that for his TV show.
