what im i doing

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right now i dont know what to do wit my life. im in a relationship but right now i just dont know if its wat i want. sometimes i ask my self if he is holdin me back from being this person i have on the inside. i know that i should do what makes me happy but at this point i dont know if im happy. he means the world to me and i would and have bent over backwards for him. but latly he shows that just maybe that he would never make the same changes that i have or will make to make us happy. at times he can be very immature but demanding. and i stand by his side like a mother and baby and carry him along the way. in my eyes the reason why he may behave that way is because his mother is a drug addict. and while growing up he didnt have a mother figure. but thats not the case he has had plenty of mother figures in his life. but he contiues to act like a child that i have to mother. i dont know what to do his not a motherless child and he doesnt depend on me. but his immaturity is annoying. i love him with my heart but his drivin me crazy. its like i dont know what i want anymore and like i LOST who i was becoming. its like that person i was becoming slipped right through my fingers and i became this person that you can control. i want to get back in control of my self but i dont want it to hurt him. i know to sometimes let a man be a man but i m a leader and its hard for me to learn how to follow.