Does drinking coffee make you drop clean?

No, I don't think that it cleans your system out that fast...unless of course, you drink waaaay too much of it and it shuts your kidneys down. Then you'd be peeing out straight coffee. Shutting down your kidneys is never a healthy thing to do, so I wouldn't try it if I were you. Can you afford to go buy a "clean out kit"? Those work ok (so I've heard), but they can sometimes make your pee too clean and then they'll just make you wait so you pee again and by then the effects of the kit have already worn off.