She knows how to borrow , how come she does not know how to pay back!

I certainly agree with you. You did the right choice of not letting your friend borrow in the second time for money. Sometimes, friends take advantage to us when it comes to money. And sometimes money are the reason to ruin the friendship. Like in my experience, not just a friend but relatives borrowed money from me. I just wait for the due date they promised to pay back but they never did and if I keep reminding them that I need my money back because I need it, for them I am being greedy about money. And if I can't let them loan the money they asked, they would sya bad things behind my back and would get mad at me. But if there are times I am the one need to borrow money, there are lot of excuses from them. that s*cks!

Oh that is really a bad habit to have. Of course it is her obligation to pay you back. I think you are just right not to give her another loan which I think will be long forgotten again.

whenever ive had to borrow money..and i dont ever do it unless i dont have a penny to my name and i havent eaten in a couple of days...i always feel embarrassed and horrible if it takes me longer than a month to repay it. i would NEVER EVER ask to borrow more money if i hadnt even been able to pay part of what i already owed. that being said if i was "living extravagantly" (personally i would feel too guilty to even try to live that way) i could certainly never have the guts to ask to borrow again! what nerve! i cannot stand ppl like that, they are taking advantage of you because they KNOW you are a good person and that you WANT to help..cause thats what friends are supposed to do right? you did the RIGHT THING! there comes a time when you have to put your foot down for your own good. if she needs money that bad that she is needing to borrow it, then she can SELL some of her OWN things to get it! Good for You!!

That sounds exactly like my situation. I think you did the right thing, I started saying no to my friend except for little things because even though she owes me money she keeps getting new things before she can pay me back. I dont like to say anything either so I just tell her I dont have any money right now. It is very hard to say no to a friend. Good luck.

I salute you for telling it straight to her that you have money but you will also use it, when people approach me and when I know they are the type who never pays back I simply said I have no extra money. Bu then again when some people would borrow some money to us (like my mom) we sometimes say no because we cannot let go of the money or we have no money to let go, when I say let go it means that whey we lend it to someone we are not expecting them to pay it back.

hi! well i think, there is nothing wrong with what you have done. i would have done the same thing. I am like you also, I dont want to ask payment, the borrower should have the initiative to pay. once a person didnt pay his loan to me, i'll never lend him again. take care

[i]Hi salonga, Of course you did the right thing! LOL! That is a great lesson for other people who will pretend that they forget their previous loan...I am the type of a friend who will always ask the payment, I will no give any of my friends any reason to forget their loan..LOL! I work hard for my money and they have to value that! ANyway, this is very common among friends and do not worry about what you have did, it was the right thing![/i]

Here some people like borrow money from others, while do not pay back again. In this case, most people will not lend them any more. Now usually people will write down a note and sign both name on it, so if one lend money and do not pay it back in time, we can use the law to protect ourselves. But if really that happened, there is no friend at all. I think if we really want to keep the friendship, the best way is not lend them money but give them a way to make money.

For me, yeah, there's nothing wrong in turning her down. If she is living extravagantly, she has no excuse why she wasn't able to pay her loan. It's totally understandable and I've had experienced it as well when someone didn't pay his debt. I never let him borrow money again even how much he begged me. It's not that easy to borrow from me and I really don't let someone loan from me if my trust in that person has already been broken. I'd rather use the money for myself by that time. Take care.

I think, you have the right reason to say no my friend. If she lives extravagantly then borrow money from others? NO good!! and the worst, she never remembers to pay back? my goodness!! with our present economic situation today? she should realize that we should live within our means. Spend only for the needs not for the wants. I agree with what you did, we should execute discipline to the Social climbers around us. hahahaha. I just don't understand why some people are striving to reach the moon even if it is impossible for them to reach it. You know what I mean? Happy Halloween.

Hi,salonga.You did the right thing!I think I am lucky because my friends often pay me back.For me,if my friend is really short of money and badly need it I will lend her,even though I know maybe she will not have money to pay back.But since your friend is a extravagant people,that is another situation.We work hard to earn the money,we should take good advantage of them,right?

Hi there friend... Should it be termed a misfortune to have friends or acquaintances that borrow and do not know how to pay back...I can't really say. In your circumstance, it was all right to have turned her down. She really didn't deserve to borrow seeing as she lives quite extravagantly. In my mind, when a friend asks for financial help, I would normally give what I can regardless of any promise to pay back. Having that frame of mind now means that what I can does not necessarily mean the same amount the friend was borrowing. I recall a friend of mine who somehow always ends up with the short end of the stick. He is a family man with 4 kids and his youngest is sickly. There would be consecutive months when he would come knocking at my door, always relaying stories of how his expenses end up more than what they have because of his sick youngest child. They aren't very stable in income as it is only the wife that can work as he too gets sick easily. To an outsider, one could say "Be a man. Stand up. Take charge of things. You've got a family for heaven's sake!" and shut him off his borrowings. Yet pity seems to be his only recourse. He seems to stands no better than a street beggar. Money will really serve no one good if we submit to say that we can not serve without money. So with him I give what I can and not even think that his borrowing will ever see a payment back. Happy mylotting... Happy mylotting...

Yes.You do the right thing. Don't ever gives a chance to her again after what she did to you. My colleagues who're borrowing me a money to repair a car until now never pay me back after one year already. I also nearly forgotten about this. When they are in need, they can act real good, hope for sympathy. Soon after they get it, they turn they back to us. It's like a betrayal act for me. If they still cannot payback on the promised time, nevermind ..just tell the truth. We can consider it again. Instead, they just run away silently without any news. What type of friend is that? Grrr.....

Yes, you did the right thing. If you keep on giving her money, you're just teaching her that she can walk all over you with no remorse. It sounds like my mom, she will always borrow money from me without hesitation, but won't bother paying me back and I've never lived with her. Or, she will lie and say she paid me back.

Many friendships and relationships have been destroyed because of these instances. I know how hard it is to be in this situation since I have experienced this myself before. It hurts at some point but what can we do? The betrayal has been done and that it's just better to pray for the people who have wronged us.

Well i think what you did was right and i think if i were also in your place i would have also done the same thing. I think its ok if she doesnt get mad at you but i think it would really be too shameless of her if she would get mad if you wont let her borrow any amount. I have also experienced the same thing and i think there are really people that are like that, they are just good to you then they need something from you and sometimes you just did what you though is right because you want to help then so you lend them some money but after that they would pretend to forget either intentionally or not because they dont want to pay you back anymore. When i experienced the same thing as you did before i really tried to remind the person if he could already pay me back because it is mine and not his and i just lend it to him. Anyways it too quite sometime for him to pay me back and after that i did not lend him any amount again even if he ask me over and over. I think its not us who should remind them that they have to pay their debt but they should be ashmed if they didnt pay us back. I think there are just people who are like that and i think it may be because of where they grew up.

I don't blame you. If someone already borrowed money from me and did not have the consideration to pay me back, especially when I know they were able to I would not lend to them again. I pretty much go by the phylosophy now that if I lend somebody money I am pretty much giving it to them. My husband and I have given a couple of family members large amounts of money. These are people who were strugging, and still are. Unless they win the lottery I don't ever expect to get them money back ever. So we have pretty much just given it to them. Actually we did not give them cash we paid their rent and thier mortage and wrote checks to their mortgage companies and landlords. We did that so they would not get kicked out of their homes and they could get caught up on other bills, neither of them are too bright when it comes to money so if we had given them cash they might have mishandled it. With the economy such as it is right now, and the fact that we have some home repairs coming up we won't be able to lend any money to anyone for a while. But in your situation you did the right thing, I don't blame you at all.

Yes, I think you did the right thing. SOme people just have no sense when it comes to financial matters. I saw a segment on Oprah's show the other day where a mother of five keeps shopping and shopping even when she is heavily in debt already. She knows that she has to change but has some problem stopping. Like she feels good every time she spends money but it only lasts for a while until the reality of her situation sinks in.

Never mind, now you know more about your friend. This is a process of life, friends tend to have the good one and the bad one. Find out more when you have more financial relation between your friends.

I have a test that I give to ever new friend I have ever had. I know that it sounds weird but, it has never failed me. When I first meet someone I don't really get close until they ask to borrow something then the test comes. If it is something small then ok. And, I see how long it is before they give it back. If they give it back soon, then they are keepers. If they never give it back then lose them. And, I never never loan anything that will bother me if they don't give it back. I just tell them, I can't and make-up a reason. If they get mad to bad. If they understand then that's nice. But, that way I never get stuck with a friend I don't trust. I use this on my family members too.