Is it really logical to visit our dead loved ones in the cemetery?
@fatherblogger (673)
Philippines
November 1, 2008 6:02am CST
I know this is a tradition of Filipinos especially Catholics. I respect those who do it, but I don't do it. Why? Because it will not change anything, and our prayers will not even help him be at peace. If we will read the bible, prayers for the dead is useless.
But don't get me wrong. I love them and I love them with all with all my heart, when they were still alive. I think that's enough, and that's what really matters.
How about you? Do you do it or not, why?
Hoping for a decent discussion. Thanks.
14 people like this
22 responses
@chiaeugene (2225)
• China
1 Nov 08
i do and the chinese do. why? the reason is simple. to pay respect and nothing to do with religion. it is a form of respect towards our loved ones who had pass on before us. it is something in us that we want to share with our loved ones. eg, my parents would bring me to my grandmother to inform her that i am getting married and ask for her blessing. it is a form of respect we have as to us, while they had passed away, we still treat them as part of the family. every race and society have their own culture. I agree it would not serve any purpose like bringing a person back to life but it is something we had been doing generations to generations.
1 person likes this
@chiaeugene (2225)
• China
4 Nov 08
yes. i agree with both of you. thisis part of being a family and it is sad that when someone pass on the rest of the family members have no feeling for them anymore. i wonder what kind of upbringing do they have or the kind of relationships do they share when they are alive. this is sad, isn't it. some pp just choose to be materialistic and choose to be rewarded only when their actions can yield some returns and not do so when there is no physical returns but they forget about emotional factors.
@balasri (26537)
• India
1 Nov 08
That is an interesting discussion.I think that going to a cometary to pay homage to the ones you loved is like praying to God.Being a good man is enough to please Him.But we do pray to Him simply because we love to do that.That makes us happy,cleanses our minds for a moment,makes us repent on the bad things we did.Likewise going to a cemetery is for the sake of listening to our hearts only.We can do whatever our hearts yearn that will make it calm,peaceful and happy without disturbing others.
1 person likes this
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
2 Nov 08
I'm not any denomination of christian, but I like visiting Cemetaries. You're visiting the last place you saw their remains. The thing that WAS the physical representation of themselves. Even though, after awhile, all traces of that representation will be gone...by visiting you show that you honor their life.
I think it IS pretty silly to "Talk" to them, because they're probably not there. But I understand how some people feel compelled to.
1 person likes this
@jesbellaine (4139)
• Philippines
1 Nov 08
Hi There.
My family always visits our relatives who passed away in the cemetery. For me, it is a way of remembering them. And there is nothing wrong with that. I know that it will not change anything but for me, it is my way to recover and remember all the good times we had together. I don't do these because it is a Filipino tradition but because it is my/our choice to visit relatives who passed away.
cheers! Happy mYlotting!
1 person likes this
@ClassyCat (1214)
• United States
1 Nov 08
I do try to go by my parents
and a few other relatives graves
when I can - they are all in another
state.
I know that there is nothing there
any more, and the 'real' person is gone.
There is nothing left but the 'house'
(physically speaking), that they occupied,
while here.
There is no reason to pray to them, because
they are gone, and we are told in the Bible
that our prayers belong to God alone.
I too will be cremated one day, but will be
buried next to my husband.
Speaking of saving money - - I knew of a lady
that donated her body to science, and there
were no charges. Her church had a memorial
service, with a guest book for signatures, that was
given to the family, and a picture of her on a
table at the front of the church. The service was
really nice, and a lot of lovely things were shared
about her.
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
2 Nov 08
Shortly after my son passed, I found myself visiting his grave alot. I knew it wouldn't bring him back or anything like that, but it was a comfort to me. I think that is probably why most people visit the graves of those they love. For the self comfort it can bring.When I would vist my son's grave, I somehow felt a little closer to him and a bit more at peace. It was like going there helped me realize the reality of the situation, and in a strange way, that helped me move forward with my life.
1 person likes this
@elemental69 (1561)
• Ireland
1 Nov 08
I have to say that I do visit my mothers grave at the cememtry. I do it so that I have somewhere to visit her and to talk to her. I know that it sounds strange, but thats just my thoughts. As for my husband, he never visits cemetrys. He says there is no point. All thats there is bones, the person and the soul is gone, and he has his memories, the way he remembers his loved ones.
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
3 Nov 08
Cemetaries I think for most helps to bring closer for some . I go sometimes to pay recpect to a love one . And sometimes it helps ya know and makes you feel closer to them a place to run to .
I miss my love ones and many times just like to think about them like looking at pics, reading a note , or just talking to them and a cemterey is like that , ya know . Everyone morns in a differnt way you know , and movies make it so dramatic with weeping loved ones , and love ones that fall upon the grave . I will admit that going to visit a few loved ones there was like a step to accept .
@iyah10 (4115)
• Kuwait
4 Nov 08
No, I am not doing it because in Muslim Country we are not celebrating a All Saints Day and the All Souls Day and I did not even try to experience on celebrating it and though my wife is a Roman catholic before she is converted into Muslim she is telling me that it is nice to knew such celebration in your Country.....
@mokbul (616)
• Singapore
1 Nov 08
I think it is common in most of the religion and societies.
It is secondary that our prayers are going to help them or not, but by mere presence of in front of their cemetery may remind his or memory for a while which we forget very often in our busy life style.
Another point is that going to cometary once a while reminds that it is our ultimate home no matter who we are or how much money we had.
1 person likes this
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
• Philippines
2 Nov 08
Im a filipino and i am a catholic. Yes we did with my family and we visit our loveones in cementery. we bring food there, flowers,candles and say prayers because we believe that through prayers, it will help our loveones to let their sin be forgiven.Those sins they commit while they are still alive. All of us have our own different beliefs, and we need to respect each others and just learn something from it.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
3 Nov 08
I have respect for All the Catholics in the world. I couldn't be one. I don't feel like I Have to visit the gravel to send my love or to think of my love ones. I believe they are either in spirit form and here in this room with me or they are on to their other life.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
2 Nov 08
i think that is a personal decision. i don't go that often. i wish i could afford to put new flowers out there every month or so but i just can't. they are so expensive & justcan't afford to do it. i have so many at the cemetery now. i have lost3 this yearr. i think if you want to go fine.
@warrior_777 (1392)
• Philippines
2 Nov 08
I agree with you.
Visiting them will not really change anything and our prayers will not do anything with them.
But I can't blame people who often visit their loved ones in the cemetery.
I know they do that just to visit and pay respect to their loved ones who past away. And I think they do that just to feel at least once in a while that they are still together even if their loved ones are already departed.
We are really sentimental when it comes to our loved ones.
Specially with our loved ones who already gone.
We treasure even a simple memory we have with them and by simply visiting them in the cemetery, somehow makes us feel still closer with them.
