Is my friend selfish? I need your advice
By 1masquerade
@1masquerade (14)
United States
November 1, 2008 7:48pm CST
I offered to let my friend use my car since she got into an accident. On Thursday I let her use the car for a few hours and then later that night let her keep my keys to run an errand the next morning. Before she took the keys I told her twice the car needs gas. First of all she was sleepy and let her mom run the errand in my car without my permission. Second of all she put no gas in the car and I ran out of gas while on my way to get gas. So I had to walk to the gas station. They didn't have any gas cans so a nice stranger lady took me to her house and let me use her gas can. I called my friend and raised my voice and she told me I was overreacting and there was no need to raise my voice. Was I wrong for raising my voice as I told her how mad I was? Does she sound like a selfish and inconsiderate person? We are now not speaking should I leave it that way?
2 people like this
18 responses
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
2 Nov 08
I think your friend kind of took advantage of you. It may not have been necessary to raise your voice to her, but it is definitely understandable. Besides, who uses a car to the point that there is not enough gas in it to drive to the gas station and then doesn't even apologize?
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
2 Nov 08
This doesn't sound very considerate at all. Like I said, why wouldn't a person even apologize? If she doesn't recognize that she messed up, I don't see what you can do. Actions speak louder than words, and both her action (not getting gas but still using your car) and her words (finding it funny that you ran out of gas because of her) show that she is not very thoughtful.
@1masquerade (14)
• United States
2 Nov 08
She never said sorry. She thought it was funny and that's when I got mad.
@wildplace (154)
• Germany
2 Nov 08
Yes your friend is selfish and yes you had the right or raise your voice.
And you should leave her that way.
Because if she doesn´t recognize what she is doing I won´t call her friend at all.
If she need a car, she can rent one. And- surprise- she has to refill the gas for a rented car too. or she has to pay for it.
@SeishiroX (1093)
• Philippines
2 Nov 08
She's lucky she got someone who let her use a car for free, and she didn't even have the courtesy to say "thank you" or at least refill the gas.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
2 Nov 08
Hi 1masquerade, I am curious, was she Your best friend? I am stund over that she did not consider how nice it was of you to lend her Your car in the first place. Not listen to Your voice saying that if you lend my car you have to do these things, as put the gas in. yes, she was really selfish. At least she could have said thank you and left the car full gased as a thank you. I know I would have. Yes, she is a selfish person if she do not understand Your frustration over this. I would feel the same way as you do. And I would have told my friend the same as You did. You did not overreacting over this, you simply asked her do a easy thing as a thank you for lending your car. And she should have listend.
I think if she want to be your frind in the future she should tell you she is sorry, and Yes I would leave it silent untill she do.
@1masquerade (14)
• United States
2 Nov 08
No she isn't my best friend. We are pretty close. We hang out together and talk on the phone a lot.
@SeishiroX (1093)
• Philippines
2 Nov 08
She isn't selfish, but she's definitely inconsiderate. If she couldn't put gas on your car, she should've told you so and saved you the time and hassle. She's also ungrateful, IMHO.
@nikkilee6583 (70)
• United States
2 Nov 08
How close are the two of you??? I mean if this friendship means something to you then you guys should talk it out. Let her know that what she did was not cool, and that next time you are going to think twice before you help her out. It sounds like she doesnt really care what you think. Taking someones car is a big deal, and you put your trust into her. I think if she is a friend at all, she will apologize and understand why you are so upset. Good luck :-)
@annkenline (337)
• United States
2 Nov 08
You were very kind in the first place to let her use your car. I cannot believe she did not put gas in it. She seems selfish and that she just didn' care. Not a very good friend. She is very inconsiderate of you.
@yuanqiang5893 (26)
•
2 Nov 08
i think you have already the answer,as friend,you can kown her during a long time.
@creative_genius (992)
•
2 Nov 08
I think she is selfish, and if she didn't apologise and just said you were overreacting then she is incredibly inconsiderate. If she apologised you could make up with her once you cool down. However if she did not, personally I would not make up with her. Life is too short to put up with friends who don't respect you!
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
2 Nov 08
I think she's inconsiderate and ungrateful. If that happened to me, I probably would do the same thing. I don't think I'd be nice about it considering I've reminded her before and now I had to go through this because of my good intentions.
@heaven1987 (1)
• India
2 Nov 08
every time you should conform for the relationship with anyone u feel close..
dont be aggressive because relaltionship are like glass once broken then u wont have the chance...
so think properly twice a time and then keeping ur previous expriences take the proper step. but be causious and be calm and do whatever u feel better as you might be knowing your friend since long time.
@pierone (1894)
• Italy
2 Nov 08
I guess you were wrong when you raised the voice, also if i easily understand why you raised your voice. Anyway i wanna let you understand that you made at least 2 mistakes:
1) when you let your friend use your car (she already got an accident! wanted you be helped in decide to change your own car? :P). You call her friend, so i need to assume that you well knows her attitudes and behavior.....
2) when you chose that friend as a friend! Friendship is something serious, and we should learn to distinguish between the people that we knows and the friends. I know really lot of people, but are really few the ones i call friends. And a true friends, in the situation you described, would like to refill the car gas without you need to ask him/her.
@damned_dude (23)
• Malaysia
2 Nov 08
in my opinion, SHE IS THE ONE BEING SELFISH. SHE IS THE ONE TO BE BLAMED.
but that doesn't mean you shouldn't speak to her again.
yes, maybe you are overreacting for yelling her, and that overreacting is NECESSARY.
now that the thing has passed, there shouldn't be any reason left for you to not to speak to her again rite?
think wisely.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
2 Nov 08
hmmm welcome to the way of the world, I have always been a giver that was the way I was brought up, but I see so much lazy selfishness in the world today, people ask to borrow things and just don't return them, borrow money and no repayment, when someone does a good turn they shouldn't have to ask .. no i don't think you did wrong in raising your voice, people have to learn and sometimes they don't hear unless you yell..
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
2 Nov 08
Well I think it was very inconsiderate of her to do and you had every reason to raise your voice at her and no you were not overreacting but I do not think you should stop being friends over this. It is not something worth losing a friendship and I believe you will regret it if you let it. I would say that if she asks to borrow your car again either say no or take her yourself. If shew as driving while she was sleepy that doesn't show that she is very resposible. Anyhoo good luck
Hugs,
StrawberryKisses
@ThirdMillion (604)
• United States
2 Nov 08
Well, yes she was being selfish and not appreciating what you have done for her. I'm sure she meant no harm, but at the same time she wasn't being very responsible. I don't think that not talking to her is the right way to handle it though. I think you should talk to her and try to save the friendship. Maybe tell her why you were upset and give her the opportunity to apologize.
@iamfine (740)
• China
2 Nov 08
Ooh, I can see that how selfish your friend is. If I were you, I would never lent her my car again. I am sorry for your experience. But as friend, you may like to forgive her, she may have some other virture that makes you call her friend. Maybe you can talk with each other about this peacefully.
Now I feel lucky that my friends never done such things to me. they always so kind and so considerate.
