Have you ever lent money to your friends? Do they return to you on time?
By iamfine
@iamfine (740)
China
November 1, 2008 8:43pm CST
Hi, Have you ever lent money to your friends. I have a friend who borrowed some money from me and promise to return to me within one month. And I lent money to her. There 2 months past, but she never mentioned about the money she borrowed from me. I am sure she does not forget about because the money she borrowed is definitely not a small sum to her.
Now I am kind of in a cash emegency,If you were me, what will you do? Remember she is one of your best friends, and you don't wanna hurt her. Any one who share your opinion is highly appreciated!
2 responses
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
2 Nov 08
hi iamfine, I would not lent money to anyone, friend or nor friend, I would not be able to even if I wanted. When it come to money, people have a sense of ego. I see Judge Judy some times, and most of the cases they show is about friends and money. I do not think it is a god thing to mix up. I think a friendship can be strongly affected by it. I think it should be seperatly from one a nother. If a friend need money they should turn to a bank, or a credit company, not the best friend.
1 person likes this
@iamfine (740)
• China
2 Nov 08
Hi anetteh, thank you very much for your comment. And you are right, the feeling of being together when there's money involved.
But sometimes it is really difficult to turn a friend down, and she is caught short of money, she asked me for help and I could not just stand by and see, while I can help to make her better.
Look luck.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
2 Nov 08
My daughter are in constant help of money, she live by her self, she is now 21 years old, I see her make bad choses so therefore I will not help her. She will never be able to pay me back. I work hard for my money to be able to pay my own bills, and to lend my last coins can make me in a bad financial situation in the end of the month. I am a provider of a son in age of 17 with disorder of ADHD. Therefore I have an obligation to him to always make shore to care for him, as long as he live at home.
If my best friend come to me and ask me for help I would help her by tell her to go to the local gouvernment for help since she would not have to pay them back. Or if it is possible for her to lend the money from the bank I would suggest that to her. I would explain to her that if I lend her money I expect to get it back, in a short time. I am in need for money to. And therefore I feel she would not take my help concerning money if she know she would not be able to pay me back in a short timeframe.
But there are times when people in desperate situations do desperate things like having hidden adgenda and take advantedge of your kindness....that is something I would consider before thinking of lending a hand conserning money. I feel I can not risk my help in order to lose a god friendship.
Of course I would help in other ways, but not when it concern money. I will never mix that with friendship. If you do you are in a risk of never be paid back.
1 person likes this
@iamfine (740)
• China
17 Nov 08
Hi, thanks for reply.
There's one thing, my friend finally pay my money back, She didn't return to money back to me initially, I asked her to, I told her that I was cought short of money and hope that she could return the money. She did, but she never contact with me since then.
And now I totally believe that friendship that get money involved, is not nature friendship any more.
@candela305 (31)
• United States
2 Nov 08
Best Friends help each other out...so don't give up on her. I wouldn't say she forgot, I'd say she might have troubles of her own returning the amount and might feel ashamed to say so....Talk to her tell her that this time around it is you in need and that her assistance is needed in repaying the debt. YOU are not the borrower you are the collector so you should not be afraid to say something.
When friends and family borrow from each other we tend to forget the importance of responsibility simply because we are friends or family and we tend to let things slide. I've had friends do the same and since I have learned to treat these situations as a business transaction.
Cross your "T's" and dot your "i's" document the transaction, give a computer generated receipt. It sounds corny but it takes the friend factor feeling out of the deal.
Most important don't make it a habit. Understand the necessity of the moment but don't become your friends financial backbone or you will soon be out of a friend and money.
There is a saying in spanish that goes..."cuentas clara mantiene amistades" translation "clear accounts - kept friends"
1 person likes this
@iamfine (740)
• China
17 Nov 08
Hi. thanks very much for our kindly and carefully responding here. Yes you are right, so called friends should help each in some special ocassion, and we should show our support to them. But when money is involved, our friendship would seem not so easy, since if my friend don't pay back my money, she may feel sorry for that, and I would think about when would she return my money back but too embarass to ask.
Hope everything can enjoy friendship which no money involved in.
