friend or girlfriend, your choice?

no. i am married now. i was thinking over the past and how i would live those days and pondering those issues that i would do differently. the problem is that i do not like to bring my gf along as she would be bored and always ask when are we going back so i sort of piss off. whenever, we guys go out, it would be all guys. no one would bring gf or wifes.

yes. it was all in the past and now i am married. i am only pondering over my younger days and those decisions and behaviours that i had conducted myself so as to understand myself better and know what is right and what is wrong. i want to do this as now i am a father and i want to only teach my son to learn the good from me and not the bad. you are right that we should look to the future and not the past but i think the past is the best for us to pick up learning values.

If you are now married I wouldn't worry about the past to much. It is ok to look back and remember but that is all. If you are not happy about how you acted then try not to act the same way now. If your gf was the type that wouldn't try to have fun then I don't think it was bad to not bring her. If you and your wife are happy with what ever arrangements you have about going out with friends then that is what should matter now.

yes. balancing is important. i do not have a good management those days so i always clashed with my gf. now my thinking is different but i was young once so those days my thinking is different from now

yes. i think man have a different stand on this issue. while woman can give it up for family, man finds it harder to do so. there are some men who can do it but i think majority of men could not as least from my friends around me.

yes, turning down gf outing after receiving friends call is not right. but sometimes u need to understand that man need some space than u think or assume. most men do not like to be too possessive by their partners

haha. it was then. i went out with her, just that i spent more times with my buddies. i would go out with her around 2 times in a week. one on weekend and one on weekday. seeing each other too often also bland the relationship and also due to my work, i need to socialise a lot with my friends and clients. a lot of entertaining to do at that time. and she does not like to socialise so i guess the best way is for her not to join me as she would feel bored. now is different as i am married with a kid. now i am just pondering over those actions that i had done in the past and see if i would do them differently

Pardon me, I guess I mean you were acting like a jerk, I see you are older now and was referring to your actions when you were younger. I hope you have matured and treat your wife or girlfriend with the respect she deserves.

yes. i still have this mindset that friend is more impt than gf and in equal status with wife. cos when i was down and out, it was my friend who help me thru financially and mentally. so i think friends are impt esp good friends.

yes, to a woman, bf's company is very important while a man may think both are equally important so the only way is to reconcile both together and getting the right mix which is a challenge in every relationship

yes. you will know it when it happened to you esp if you get a possessive gf. i think you will be stress. haha. some girls allow their guys freedom and own circle of friends while some want to control everything her guy does.

haha. maybe the feeling for each other is important too. actually i care a lot for my gf too those days but somehow i still want that freedom of being unattached. so it is hard to have the best of both worlds. good luck and wishes in your current relationship

haha. as time pass by, you will notice u change your priority like i did. it was my friends previously too and now it is my family first

yes. i also like to spend time at home now rather than outside but when i was younger i had a lot of activities outside and home is only a place for me to sleep for the night. haha. those were the days and i had changed now.

maybe i share more about it and reveal more of my relationship days. my 1st wife was with me for about 3 years before we decided to get married. she is a teacher, homely type of woman who would place her partner first. she dun drink, smoke, clubbing or ply sports activities. i tried to bring her out whenever i can but she does not like it and would also ask when are we leaving. so she is the one that always complained i have no time for her. in her mind, the world is only two of us and it is rather tiring during courtship to spend time with her as she would demand more and more. getting married was rash and a mistake on my part and also hers as she was it as an insurance but it backfired. staying together was a chore and challenge. another of my gf is a killer and my friends envy me becasue of her, pretty with solid body and she drinks and smoke and also love to party but i seldom like her to tag along as she would always attract unnecessary attention from others and i dun like it. so i also seldom bring her out and she complained me too. haha.

wow. good for you. you had succeeded and found a good gf and understanding friends. congrats

yes. good for you if u can manage and your gf is not possessive. but some woman prefer to have control or higher standing than friends

yes. time mgt is important and also the trick to make her feel important. once u manage to control it, your relationship is likely to be smooth sailing without much squabbles as this is often one of the main reasons for breaking up

brotherhood right? this is why i have this thinking cos when u are outside in society, friends would give u a lot of help when in need while gf only provide help spiritually.

haha. spot on. this is exactly my same thinking. we should have our own circle of friends and social life and not be too possessive which is actually a turn off in my opinion.

haha. we think alike but i would spend more. those days when i am dating, only 2 days in a week belong to my gf. a weekday and a weekend and nothing more unless something special pop up. the rest were with friends playing snooker, pubbing, coffee etc