It Had to Happen

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Flushed with President Elect Obama's success in the US there is now a concerted attempt to buck the trend and field a "different" candidate in the next British General Election. So far three contenders have thrown their hats into the ring. From the Hip Hop side we are seeing the famous British rap star "I Dribble This Scribble". He's 22 years old and from Smethwick in the West Midlands. He shot to fame with his chart busting anthem "It ain't fair that Yogi was a Bear" closely followed by "I'm in the doo doo but it weren't me it wos Boo Boo". He stands for peace and love and if elected would seek to restore Birmingham as the centre of chewing gum manufacture that was wrestled away by Wrigley's 60 years ago. Second up we have an outsider from Little codling in the Wolds. The Reverend "It's hot in here I may have taken a wrong turn at the gates marked HELL" Tess t'mafaith. Tess was born into a family of evenjelloists and will be campaigning on a hot ticket aimed at mothers to have peanut butter and jelly marketed once more in Britain's supermarkets. "When I was a child you used to have to fight the wasps off the peanut butter. These days they don't come near. Bring back the Jam (jelly) I say". Finally we have Gloriarse Day. Gloriarse first become well known in political circles for her smashing little tea cakes and pastries that she always took to the Kensigtea and Chelcrumpet Conservative Party meetings. Some of you may remember her as the brains behind the infamous "We're in labour, no it's food poisoning" scandal that rocked the Houses of Parliament all the way to St Thomas's Hospital in 2001. Gloriarse hopes that the rather fetching frocks that she likes to wear will catch the eyes of lady voters and deflect any adverse comments about the fact that she may be slightly more masculine than she would have you believe. She hopes that her campaign slogan "I may be a chap but it's better than jelly and rap" will endear her to the shires of England and the hearts of the middle classes. So there you have them. Who would you back and why? Don't be shy stranger things will happen.