What you hate about your partner?
By red_amethyst
@red_amethyst (3518)
Philippines
November 8, 2008 11:22am CST
Nobody is perfect, as they say. Even the love of our life, she/he can still have flaws. As time pass, we learn to accept his/her flaws and love him just the same.
But we are humans, sometimes we still get irritated when our partner still makes mistakes and shows the flaws we really hate. Just like with my partner. i still get irritated when he flares up easily. get mad at little things. sometimes i just ignore him and get back to him when he is cooled down already.
how about you myLotters, what do you hate most about your partner? what do you do with it?
9 people like this
26 responses
@ayenacsi (910)
• Philippines
8 Nov 08
I don't like it when he just crosses his brows and keeps mum about what's bothering him. He won't talk to me and explain what it is that I have done to upset him. I hate that, he just usually smiles at me after a while and say that it is nothing to be bothered about.
There are also a few things about him that if I have known before we got married, I wouldn't allow to be around that person. But I have learned to accept that it's just the way he is. Same thing I guess goes for me, too. He has accepted my flaws, insecurities and everything else that is jaded about me. So I guess we love each other that much.
1 person likes this
@red_amethyst (3518)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
hi ayenacsi
accepting one's flaws is a sign of genuine love. one should love and accept a person as he is including his flaws. I admire you for doing that.
thanks for sharing
@miamhae (339)
• Philippines
8 Nov 08
The one I hate my fiance is being hardworking, his time took of his work, I'm not still live with him, so we just call each other but I hate him when he forget me to call. I just try to being patient because I know his so tired in his work. Sometimes he also forget to eat or just fall sleep in sofa, I hate the way he do his self, I'm afraid that his health affect soon.
1 person likes this
@emilymoseley (7)
•
8 Nov 08
he sould take time off work to spend time with u.. he maybe really busy that he cant phone u..ring him if u dont get a reply hes busy.
@red_amethyst (3518)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
hi miamhae.
maybe he is doing that for your future. try to set up a date with him. make it a surprise. if its a weekend getaway thats better
take care
@shooie (4984)
• United States
8 Nov 08
I can't say I hate anything about him really. Hate is a strong word. Do I get annoyed yes but hate anything no. I get annoyed when he jumps from hobby to hobby or should say did get annoyed because I think he found one he really likes and has stuck with it for awhile now. But can't say there is or ever was anything about what he does or did I hate.
@red_amethyst (3518)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
hi shooie.
thanks for sharing. maybe i just chose a strong word. but getting annoyed sometimes is I think natural.
take care
@sweetpeasmom (1325)
• United States
8 Nov 08
I love my husband with all of my heart, body , and soul, but he has an annoying habit of whatever I tell him he either already knows it or he just thinks he knows everything. When I first started dating him it would make me mad and we would argue, but now after 17 years I have learned to just agree with him .
1 person likes this
@red_amethyst (3518)
• Philippines
10 Nov 08
hi!
loving a person means accepting everything about him
take care
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
8 Nov 08
i don't have a partner & most of the time i'm glad unless something breaks down. lol
@mojcica (1511)
• Slovenia
8 Nov 08
I love my darling very much, but as you said he also have flaws that bother me. The one that bother me the most is his insecurity. He doesnt have the best opinion about himself, he is rather insecure, or even worse because of this he thinks I have the same thoughts and feelings about him as he do. I keep telling him he is the best and its true, but its like he doesnt believe me. And this bothers me quite a lot.
1 person likes this
@red_amethyst (3518)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
hi mojcica
thanks for sharing.
maybe you can do some encouragement for him. try to tell him that you have confidence in him.
take care
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
ohhh...i hate his smoking, drinking and gambling...he does not talk to me and when i ask him something he shouts at me...actually i can go on and on about his flaws..i know i have them too and yeah i know he can say lots of things about me...but the bottom line here is...i wish he will realize that i am not happy anymore.
@anaknitatay (1335)
• Philippines
10 Nov 08
familiarity breeds contempt, mainly because you tend to find things in your partner you don't like or you find that you cannot ignore or tolerate herf laws anymore.
lots of things I hate about my partner, but the most is her being fickle especially when we made separate plans for the day and she suddenly changes her mind.
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
10 Nov 08
Hi Dear
I do understand what u want to Say
and u know acceptanacce means Accepting akll aspect, good as well as Bad
i would say, Hate is too strong word for that, i must say u Dislike, Well i dis like few of her habbits but most of time i try to help her withoput letting her know to over come it
That must be way to handle it
Take care
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
10 Nov 08
I have responded to a similiar discussion a few weeks ago ^_^ Well, like u said, as time goes by, we learn to accept their flaws.. ANd love should be that way, always think of the other party and not for oneself ^_^
Though i might dislike my partner about some things, but i dun hate.. Because it's been their habit for so many yrs, and it's not easy to change.. ONe has got to accept this fact, and including ourselves, we dun change out of our flaws overnight ^_^
Changes take time, but at the same time, we cant allow our partners to take that for granted.. We need to remind them constantly, so as to have a more harmonious relationship too ^_^
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
9 Nov 08
I hate that he will not take my feelings into consideration. He sometimes will ignore me, when I am trying to make a point clear to him. He will get paid, and sometimes, don't give me any money. And I have to tell him what I want and need. He claims that he knows me so well, but if he did, then he would have done what I needed without asking him too. Sometimes, he will take his mom's side.. That is what gets on my nerves about him.. I wished that I could cast an spell on him to make him do what I want and need! That way, I won't have to figure him out! He is truly 1005 genuine Gemimi! That is why he acts the way that he does. I am not that all surprised!
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
10 Nov 08
I can't think of any particular thing which I hate about my hubby. Not that he is perfect but maybe because I concentrate more on his good characters which are actually too many that I hardly could notice the little flaws. I'd say I'm quite blessed to be married to a nearly perfect man. I thank God so much for him!
@mayhem23 (185)
• Canada
8 Nov 08
'Hate' is a bad word to use. I can say through my experience in a number of short and long relationships that forgiveness is key. Don't expect that someone will change just for you. If you love them, then accept them as they are and don't turn them into someone they are not. I think you have a good approach of waiting till he is cooled down, but, does he do the same for you. You must be able to communicate your feelings. Always make up right away if there is an argument, go for a walk, a coffee, or watch a movie!
1 person likes this
@liaamur (417)
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
YES! i definitely hate it when he tickles me. sometimes i wonder why i laugh at all. i've pleaded with him so many times, he just kept doing it. granted i am very ticklish. he just laughs about it. *sigh* at the end of the day, though, i am still in love with him.
@jonastabuena (2307)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
What i hate most of my partner is she so insensitive and selfish, and sometimes i wasn't able to control my temper and we got into quarrel, but i see to eat that we must fix the misunderstanding right away. I can't do nothing to her attitude because that' what she is, i must accept the whole of her, the time i accept and say to her that i love her, automatically i accept everything about her including her bad attitude and also giving her the right to hurt me. Now is our first year anniversary, and its nice, i just need to be more patience.
@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
9 Nov 08
hi red_amethyst........very hurting question.....but facts are facts. I have been married now for 25 years with two grown up children. Life was fine , but since last few years seems to be changing our attitude towards each other........
may be we were so busy bringing up our children that we never had time for each other and now that we are in company of each other, we have some surpises.......
Well there are two things that irritates me a lot about my hubby.......first,
whenever anything goes wrong, he starts blaming me and my children (his too), while I expect him to be matured and think of finding solution to problem rather that blaming others.and secondly.......when things turn out good he rarely appreciates , but if slightly something goes wrong, immediately he will make a comment which will hurt you......and this really puts me off mood.....
In both the cases if I tell him he did wrong.....he will agree after some argument, but what is the point.....there is no fun if someone appreciates you after you tell him to do it......so this is it.........and life goes on.....
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
9 Nov 08
Hi Red, he sometimes annoys me terribly! He's a sociable, noisy guy, while I sometimes live in my own world, preferring peace and quiet.
So when I'm doing some writing, thinking - he'd talk to me; I used to flare up at him; now I totally ignore him.
He's also terribly disorganised, can't find his stuff and throw his things all over the place. Well....I still love him, after yelling at him!
@SylverDeimos (58)
• Romania
9 Nov 08
What i hate the most about my partner is that she's non-existent, poor me, i don't have a partner in life, but i rather have that i can joke with, i really dislike people that get angry easily.
@joanne11386 (14)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
It's just but normal to sometimes dislike something about our partner. As for me, it's not really hate but "big irritation". And of course, he feels the other way around with me. But it never get to the point where we totally ignore each other for a long time. So whenever I get irritated, I show it to him and tell him I don't like the way he behaves sometimes. And after a minute or two, it's gone and believe, I feel better.