i don't wanna be number 2, nor to be number 1, i want to be the ONLY ONE.
By secretbear
@secretbear (19448)
Philippines
November 9, 2008 2:41am CST
i hope this is my last post about my unfortunate story of love life. ^__^;;
it turned out that the guy i like already has a girlfriend back in his faraway province. he said he likes me too but he can't court me since he has a girlfriend already and he said he can't break up with her because he pities her so much whenever she cry when he forgets to call for a day. and he's ashamed to put me in a position where people will talk about me once they learned that he already has a girlfriend. (should i be thankful for this?)
and take note of this, he said, and i quote, if i will agree to be his NUMBER TWO, he will court me. crap. who the heck he think he is! he's not the only man in this whole world. and i can't be the second the best. i'm too much of a jealous type to be number two. neither i want to be number one. i want to be the ONLY ONE.
and i don't steal boyfriends. i'm a girl too and i would sympathize with my fellow females. my conscience wouldn't be able to bear it if a girl would be crying because of me. so to heck with this guy and i just feel so pathetic for liking him.
but i'm done. i'm finished. i'll stop. this is the end. 
19 people like this
50 responses
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
The nerve of that guy to propose something like that... how did the discussion about his girlfriend come up?... that story sounds very very fishy... and if i were you... i wouldn't believe it... and since he asked you to be his number 2... then it just means that he cannot be trusted... and he is not a gentleman...
I really hope that this opened your eyes to the kind of person that he is... he is definitely not worthy of your attention and love... so it is best that you forget about him...
What a major turn off he turned out to be...
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
i guess he wanted to be honest about it. i guess he didn't want to lie to me. i guess i should be thankful for it. .
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
"I guess he wanted to be honest about it. i guess he didn't want to lie to me. i guess i should be thankful for it."
My dear secretbear... these are the words of a person who is angry... but will eventually give in to still feeling in love with the guy... not give in to his proposal of course... i hope you or him get transferred to another department... so that you don't have to look at him everyday...
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
9 Nov 08
Well, at least you know the truth.I think it could have been worst. He could have kept the girl a complete secret.I feel the same way about boyfriends.If you have someone else be with her.If you want to be with me, then leave her first. If the guy is married, I am the completely different.if it just boyfriend-girlfriend, you should be with the One you want.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
hi sarah. yeah. i guess it would have been worst if he courted me and kept his girlfriend a secret. but you know what, this might sound stupid but i might have preferred that i have experienced being his girlfriend even just for a while before knowing his secret. at least, i would have been happy for a while. 
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
10 Nov 08
It would be good for a while but when you finally found out, it would have break broken your heart.This is so much better. There is a guy out there for you.
1 person likes this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
9 Nov 08
After knowing how much you like this guy I am very proud of you to hear that you will not be number 2. He does not make sense to me if he tells you he can not court you because of his number one who lives in another place but if you agree to be his number two he will court you??? I would not trust him now even if he did get rid of his number one because he would probably have another number two or even a number three somewhere else. I say just be friends and move on with your live and find a boyfriend who will appreicate you and you will be the one and only in his eyes.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
hi tyc. thank you so much. i am proud of myself too for not letting my heart win against my head. i would really think twice now of whatever he will say to me. i will do my best to move on and forget him. he was a mistake.
@afternoontea (1005)
• Indonesia
9 Nov 08
Yes, I really understand how you feel, We have the same experience... I was with this guy who apparently already have a gf which is not faraway but only 2 blocks from my house and I saw her alot.. Everytime I saw the girl, I got jealous because I thought I'm the one who should be in her position...
The same as you he offered me to be the second which, eventhough I liked him alot and got jealous with his girl, That makes me feel pathetic. I did rejected the offer and cry with a broken heart in my bathroom but I am just glad I did it... You can still find another good guy, because who knows that eventhough he did broke up with his gf and choose you, he will not do the same with another girl?
I'm with you secretbear...
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
hi afternoontea. guys are really born polygamous aren't they? why can't they just be contented with one? yeah. even if he did break up with the girl, i wouldn't be sure anymore of his faithfulness. thanks for sharing your story. and thanks for the understanding.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
9 Nov 08
Glad you're going to be done with him. He's a looser. He's not your type, your type is a monogamous relationship, not a love the one you're with type. So now you won't be wasting any more time on this fool, you'll probably find someone else. Take care.
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
thanks writersedge. yeah. i won't be wasting my time on him anymore. he really is a loser isn't he? i'm just so sad i made a mistake on him. i thought he was different. oh well. moving on.
@trisha_nava82 (1379)
• United States
9 Nov 08
I believe that it is good that he told you the truth, because now you know that it will never happen. Most guys never say a thing and let you court them. Unless he is willing (which he is not) to dump his girlfriend and court you and let you be him #1, then he truely isn't worth waisting your time on him. I would have to agree with you on not being his number 2 thats kind of crazy for him to say. Its better you know the truth now then later.
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
hi Trisha! yeah. i guess i should be thankful that he got honest with me about it. it could have been okay if it weren't for his indecent proposal of me being his number two. he was being a gentleman for a second then he was being a jerk the next second. tch.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
28 May 09
Hello secretbear,
You should stop long time ago and I hope by now, you already moved on with your life. Life is too short to mourn for someone who is worthless for you.That guy is really selfish. He wants both when he knows he can't have both. He can say that he pities her but who knows...maybe he really likes her too much and at the same time, he wants you too. For what? Nobody knows for sure. I do hope this is really the end of your futile relationship. It won't go anywhere, any further. Enjoy your life and don't worry, a great man is waiting for you. Just wait for the right time.
@bagumbayan (2705)
• Philippines
23 Dec 08
As youeve said he is not the only guy. Drop him like a hot potato. He is too nosy can see. Of course he is not that handsome man. Merry Christmas Happy New Year!
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
10 Nov 08
YEah, secret ^_^ Finally there's an end to this whole episode ^_^ That's right, iN a relationship, there cant be number one or 2, instead, there can be the only one, only then one will feel unique ^_^
He is simply too much and have no sense of shame at all.. Like he say, he pities his gf, thus i think it's out of pity and guilt that he's staying with her, but not love.. And to think he can tell u in the face that if u are willing to be number 2, he will court u.. For that, he is really shameless and he's very arrogant on that too..
Luckily for u that u managed to see the true side of him now, and not to regret when things go further ^_^ Now that u need not feel troubled anymore because he had made the decision for u now ^_^ hehe
1 person likes this
@kwenge (2487)
• Kenya
10 Nov 08
WOw! secretebear.........am glad that you have moved on from this guy. How dare he suggest you be his number two? In this error who can accept to be "the other woman"? You are such a wise lady and now that your focus to that guy has changed you are gonna find someone who will love you wholly and you will be his only one. Even if he leaves his girlfriend one day or if she dumps him please dont take him back becuase he is gonna have some number two gal outside your relationship........not all gals are like you to sympathize with fellow females. there are others who find joy in wrecking other homes so be careful dear. Its good to hear that you are not hurt by him and instead its you who left him.
Am so happy for you and I pray that you get your mr. right soon.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Nov 08
good for you for seeing the kind of person he is. he would have done the same to you. faithfil is undoubtedly nt in hid vacabulary. glad you founfd him out before you got your heart so involved. that is such an ugly way fior a mad to do. u could have never trusted him.
1 person likes this
@chantalgiardina (2523)
• United States
9 Nov 08
girl i feel you on this. I am too much of the jealous type too. not crazy jealous just jealous lol...
if he already has someone then it is not worth it. Especially if the only reason he is staying with her is because he basically feels sorry for her. No women wants to be second at all. and if they do then the love is not there. congrats for standing your ground.
1 person likes this
@purnima175 (435)
• India
5 Nov 09
hi there,
love is number 1 thing in the world...Good for you for not settling. If you did become his #1 it would only be a matter of time before you'd be wondering if there's another #2. And who wants to be that girl crying to keep him around. It's unbelievable he thought you'd buy his b/s about being concerned people would talk about you if he made a decision to be with you but thought sneaking around would be more honorable.
Heck with him is right but you're not pathetic for trying to see the best in
someone. Gotta go thru alot of toads to find your prince, I think somehow if prepares us for something better....hope yours comes along soon.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
11 Nov 08
[i]Hi secretbear,
hahaha..he has a strong nerve to ask you that! Your decision is correct and I am sure one of these days, you will be able to forget him and open yourself to another suitors! Enjoy![/i]
@johndur (3052)
• Pasig, Philippines
13 Nov 08
sometimes love cant see what is wrong or what is right as long as you follow what it tells you to do.it true being the only is what you wanted and what we all wanted but being man as naturally polygamous being i dont think it is as easy as that....im sure at least once in a mans lifetime they flirt on somebody...
@bjcyrix (6901)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
Oh wow. He definitely is something to even suggest such an idea. That would just mean that having 'number 2's' and maybe even '3's' and '4's' is something normal to him. At least he is direct about it Id give him that but its just plain wrong.
There's this former classmate of mine who sends extra sweet text messages and stuff. I just laughed them off since I knew he has a girlfriend as well. But by the content of his SMS you'd think we have a relationship or something. He even said "I luv u!" at one point. Good thing I didnt fall for it since I have a close friend who he got close to sometime at the end of last sem. He texts my friend in the same manner. She opened up to me about it and of course I told her not to believe it. and you know what? I almost did.
WEll, anyway, like what the other responder's have said, its best to just keep your distance from this guy. Im sure you'll find someone who'll treasure you as his ONLY one.
There's this former classmate of mine who sends extra sweet text messages and stuff. I just laughed them off since I knew he has a girlfriend as well. But by the content of his SMS you'd think we have a relationship or something. He even said "I luv u!" at one point. Good thing I didnt fall for it since I have a close friend who he got close to sometime at the end of last sem. He texts my friend in the same manner. She opened up to me about it and of course I told her not to believe it. and you know what? I almost did.
WEll, anyway, like what the other responder's have said, its best to just keep your distance from this guy. Im sure you'll find someone who'll treasure you as his ONLY one.
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
12 Nov 08
hi, secretbear.
every girl deserves to be treated right. and you are right, the things he told you are all crap. he is a little stuck-up, isn't he, to suggest that you could be number two? tsk.
anyway, i hope all girls are like you. you deserve to be the ONLY ONE.
go girl!
@pretty44 (7)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
I was in love with this man I knew him here in the net, but as time goes by, I saw a message frm the other web site, a meaningful message, they said action speaks lowder than words, so I made friends with that woman and ask about the man courting me, and I got something frm her that she made love to him but the woman has three kids or what we call a single mom, But the man was still courting me, so I asked the guy to confess me anything before I found out frm someone, but he kept it to himself, but I really love this guy, but if he continue that kind of attitude I dont think I could trust him, feel jealous but he promise me that he will gonna marry me although they still have contact with each other, hope if he can read this, this is for you, if you could only open my heart Im dearly love you very much and hope you will still change youre mind about youre situation and feel how it hurt me, like youre ex wife hurt you. Love you and Take Care. MARK
@kyliexo (71)
• United States
13 Nov 08
I sympathize with your feelings for him, but it's true that you shouldn't have to wait for him or be on the back burner and never know if he will EVER break up with that girl so he could be with you. Plus, in a way he's cheating on her (and you), and if he ever did finally break up with her to be with you, you could never be sure that he wouldnt start seeing someone else while he was with you. Congratulations on seeing yourself as important enough to not be his 2nd :)
