Best friend
By uditpanda
@uditpanda (1023)
India
November 9, 2008 3:40am CST
There was a girl in my neighbourhood whom i considered as my best friend. a year before she moved toa different city for her studies. from thet day the intensity & CLOSENESs of our friendship has been declining. Do u think it is the distance that is affecting the friendship?
2 people like this
14 responses
@suchithra85 (29)
• India
9 Nov 08
No. Distance is not affect the true friendship. Because friendship is precious. Without a true fried nobody can live in a better way. I believe in friedship.
@Gayeanna (2)
• Jamaica
10 Nov 08
No. Distance as nothing with it. If it should have anything to do with it is to draw you closer to each other, after all you are not seeing each other so you miss each other more .
Friendship is a thing that no matter how far friends are in distance they are always near in heart and mind. So call her up and ask what is going on. And another things best friends are always frank without being ofensive.
@parthena (31)
• United States
13 Nov 08
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear that, but unfortunately, absence does not make the heart grow fonder - it often makes the heart forget - and this comes from my sociology and marriage and family courses in college. It's in the textbooks, research and literature. A long distance relationship that can survive is a strong one indeed.
Everything in our lives is a system - family, community, career, environment, etc. One change in one part of the system affects every single other part of the system. It may not be the distance that's completely responsible. There is a change in environment involved as well as changes in personal development (you say that she moved due to her studies). A change in environment can bring different interests that you may no longer share, or if you do, you are not close enough geographically now to share them together.
My roots are in the lower economic end of the working class (poverty, to be blunt). When I went to college, I gradually grew apart from my friends and family. This was not at all deliberate, just a natural part of the growth process. I was the first in my entire family to go to college, period, and to earn a Master's Degree. None of my siblings have moved on and they don't get me anymore although the love is still there.
My two oldest sons didn't like this part of the country and moved back east when they were old enough. My youngest lives closest to me. I love all my boys equally but he and I are closer because he's right here.
If the friendship is important to you, keep in touch, especially if she plans to return because there's a strong possibility that you can regain that closeness but it will very likely be different from what you shared before.
@tryxiness (4544)
• Philippines
11 Nov 08
It's not just the distance, I guess, because of the communication.
Do you communicate often? Do you ask for updates from your friend?
As long as you keep each other posted, nothing beats friendship.
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
11 Nov 08
not really. it has happened to me too. people move and make new friends in their new area, and they sometimes change to be similar to their new friends, and will forget and no longer fit in with old friends.
i have grown apart from old friends when they moved to another school in the same area. we started hanging out with different crowds and it wasnt the same again. it is just about moving on, growing and changing...
@6precious102 (4043)
• United States
10 Nov 08
The distance probably has some to do with it, but she's also getting involved with new people and doing things with them now. There's no reason why you can't remain friends though. Keep in tough with her; but if she acts like she has no interest, move on with your life without her.
@drunkdragonfly (7)
• China
10 Nov 08
That's ridiculous. The real friendship can not be changed by anything.
@praveenjena (1304)
• India
9 Nov 08
hello udit,
it is indeed true that when you are with someone then you you can give the most to that relationship. distance hurts a lot and at the same time it changes a lot of things in our life. sometimes it is said that distance makes a person homesick, it even makes him nostalgic. but it is not that happens every time. so closeness is very essential for a relationship to keep going.
have a good day and happy mylot!
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
9 Nov 08
If your friendship was based on going out and doing things together, then the fact you can't do that right now is a big factor in the friendship declining.
In order for a friendship to thrive, time and effort need to be put into it, by both parties.
My best friend lives over 3 hrs away, and we rarely get to see each other. But we talk on the phone almost every single day, and are able to maintain our friendship that way. Admittedly, over the years, we went in waves in our contact. We've had times when we hadn't spoken in a year or two... but we also always knew that we'd be there for each other at the drop of a hat. And that's proved itself on many occasions.
@parthajena (536)
• India
9 Nov 08
thats true...i believe distance really matters. there goes the saying that' out of sight out of mind'.its true as far my experience goes. being apart from each other really affects a relationship.
so try to be in touch with her as much as you can. it hurts when a friendship ends.
have a good day.
@dev21lucky (341)
• India
9 Nov 08
Yes,It is true distance weakens relationships over time.I have also faced such problems in past.Some of my school day friends are now staying in distant cities with whom I hardly meet once or twice a year.To keep up the charm in a relation both the persons need to stay in touch.
You may try to keep in touch with her through letters or phone or e-mails.Hope you revive your relationship.
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
9 Nov 08
i think it is hard to be far away from a person and keep a strong relationship.but also her studies could be keeping her busy to.
@annierose (21588)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
No. I think distance is not a reason for friendship to decline. I have a bestfriend too and he is so far from me but we still have communications. In this world where technology is growing so fast, communication is not that hard anymore.
I think you shouldn't worry much if you cannot hear much news from her. Maybe she is just busy with her studies there. If friendship is true, no distance can separate them. If you know in your heart you are true to her and she is is true to you, then you should have always a hope in your friendship.
@witkeyboy (61)
• China
9 Nov 08
Hello,guy!
I think you need often on the phone with her.
I can strengthen friendship.
I hope that it can help you.
best wishes to you.
@Ind3p3nd3nt (182)
• United States
9 Nov 08
Distance can put a strain on any relationship. I don't think it's completely impossible to maintain a healthy relationship with someone who lives far away, but it will definitely require a lot of work from both parties...not to mention the desire and willingness to do any and everything it takes to keep the relationship afloat.